The Hairy Balls-Out: No Seriously, Get Them Shaved

[Drageuth]

Ya wanna be friends?

I might not be as adorable as Elin or Milady, or have a cool British accent. At least my updates are infrequent.

Oh, I suppose.

Most of my updates are trophy updates, random pictures of my son, and the occasional retarded thing that happens to me in a day/funny thing that I heard.

[Raype]

Not one of you mental bastards is on my facebook, except raype, who someone keeps finding me despite deleting my profile regularly.

It takes a lot of commitment to be a good stalker.

[Nemkoon]

Of course it is when the only friends you have are zombies and other mindless T-Virus infected baddies.

And high school students with no life outside sports and facebook.

[Drageuth]

Cut myself shaving, as usual. Gonna look like a have a Hitler 'tache.

I cut myself shaving almost every time. It's retarded.

If I didn't have to wear a beard net at work if I have facial hair, I would let it grow out.

But fuck beard nets.

FUCK THEM HARD

[Raype]

Also, I rarely ever post updates.

Effort is for the weak.

Normally if I have something stupid to say, I instead just say it here.

Because this way I don't have to explain the jokes to the considerably more elderly contacts.

[Inferno.]

Mine are usually:

Rant about game
I'm so excited for X game
Rant about not being able to sleep

[Nemkoon]

Mine are:
Nothing.

[Raype]

You people do realize you're supposed to keep the blades sharp and you're supposed to move the razor perpendicular to how the blades are arranged, right?

Seriously, I never cut myself. And with skin as soft as mine, I should be able to do it easily.

[Drageuth]

And high school students with no life outside sports and facebook.

I'm on Facebook all of the time.

That's quite literal, too. Whenever I'm online, I have Facebook open in the first tab, EP in the second, then whatever else I happen to be looking up on the Internet in the rest.

Doesn't mean I update all the time, though.

"omg i wuz tutallie @ dis prty last nite & gut sooooooooooooo drunk it wuz awsum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[Pickles]

How could I make this any more awkward than, say... Ray.



See?



I don't shave. Although I do trim. Maintenance, yo'.

Honestly, with how incredibly thick my hair is on my legs and whatnot, I would also have to shave my legs. Which is just way too time consuming. Otherwise it'll look like the back of a balding guy's head when they start to get the crop-circle look going.





OMG AN EP MEMBER THAT I DON'T HAVE ON MY FRIENDS LIST I MUST HAVE



If it's too much work to find someone, I can't be arsed.

LET THEM COME TO ME





Does this mean Steve won't be my friend?

Also, most of the people from EP that I've added I find genuinely interesting, or I actually like. Elin's status updates are just adorable; Milady's are almost, but not quite, as adorable and entertaining; Dan's are usually funny in some regard, just to imagine him saying what's on his status in an accent (also, some of his friend's comments are hilarious); Sage puts up a lot of gaming news that I find somewhat interest (also, <3 Sage); and then everyone else kind of goes down the list from there.

Some of 'em on there is just to complete the set. I think 20% of the total friends on my Facebook are EPers. And honestly, I follow you guys more than I follow any of my real friends.

I know I left but then I came back.

I'd gladly be your friend Drag, I use EP as a source of social networking more so than facebook, becuase I like you guys and hate my irl friends.

But yeah really, obviously I wouldn't accept anyone that wasn't a regular, but there's a few others that I can think of too.

[Nemkoon]

My most recent update was predicting that the Lions will win the Superbowl.

[Pickles]

It takes a lot of commitment to be a good stalker.

I appreciate the effort, I do.

[Ivolt]

I'm so awesome at this game.

Enter boss area.

Fall in baby pit.

Run like boss

Die from plague.

[Quiji]

I love you.

[Drageuth]

Mine are usually:

Rant about game
I'm so excited for X game
Rant about not being able to sleep

Either "I can't sleep!" or "Fell asleep doing something I wanted to do FML"

You people do realize you're supposed to keep the blades sharp and you're supposed to move the razor perpendicular to how the blades are arranged, right?

Seriously, I never cut myself. And with skin as soft as mine, I should be able to do it easily.

But they always told me to go down the road, not across the street...