Yep, that's me alright.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sprung
Too much effort to make some new jokes.
It's not like I'm going to waste my good material on you losers.
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Yep, that's me alright.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sprung
Too much effort to make some new jokes.
It's not like I'm going to waste my good material on you losers.
That explains why my little sis doesn't look like my dad.Quote:
Originally Posted by "Ray"
Very nice.
You have a little sister?Quote:
Originally Posted by NosRedna
Pix plz.
Alright, I made that up. My customary razor-sharp wit failed to provide me with a stinging comeback, so I lied.Quote:
Originally Posted by "Ray"
I'm so ashamed...
Awww, your first time, eh? (:Quote:
Originally Posted by NosRedna
More like 500th time. I suppose it's more like a sledgehammer-dull wit.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fer!
I remember my first time.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fer!
Pubic hair and braces do not mix.
Ouch. :|Quote:
Originally Posted by "Ray"
Don't you think that's a little out of line? None of your material is good. :wacko:Quote:
Originally Posted by "Ray"
I was the one with braces :PQuote:
Originally Posted by Fer!
While that may be true,Quote:
Originally Posted by Cyber
BOOOOOOOBS!!!
Double ouch. :PQuote:
Originally Posted by "Ray"
It's not like they don't bleed down there normally.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fer!
I really don't see the big deal.
"I just don't trust anything that bleeds for three days and doesn't die."Quote:
Originally Posted by "Ray"
-South Park
Well, poor girl...having her...um, stuff trapped in your braces and you pulling them out, ouch. :P
So, shaving is the way to go girls. ;)
I just found a copy of the Anarchist Cookbook.
I'm gonna have some fun next weekend...
Clearly I was kidding.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fer!
Of course I would never need braces. I'm perfect.
And the only bleeding in my first sexual encounter was when my dick burst through her chest.
It was at that point that I realized I had an awesome wang.
And that I needed to get out of there before anyone saw me.
And that blood is really fucking hard to get out of clothes.
Multiple homicide, bestiality, and necrophilia so far.Quote:
Originally Posted by "Ray"
Keep up the good work!
*clears throat*Quote:
Originally Posted by NosRedna
So I dug up my grandparents and started fucking them, then decided that I needed something fresh. I then fucked my sister, and her little dog too.
The headed to school where I molested several children.
Before finally slicing myself up with a knife while jacking off to bondage porn.
Not bad, but it seems a little tame. Maybe you should try having an orgy while bathing in the blood of a thousand virgins.Quote:
Originally Posted by "Ray"
I keep that kind of comment for my 2 am stuff on fridays.Quote:
Originally Posted by NosRedna
By keeping the stuff tame and lame, I have nowhere to go but up.
Tame, maybe, but far from lame.Quote:
Originally Posted by "Ray"
How about cutting someone open and filling the wound with broken glass? It works surprisingly well.
Nah, the glass always cuts them up way too much. Then they either die or pass out from the pain.Quote:
Originally Posted by NosRedna
I find salt or hot sauce works pretty well.
That or stabbing them repeatedly with tiny needles, usually in the genitals or nipples.
lolz. sounds professional. :rofl:Quote:
Originally Posted by NosRedna
If only I could get paid for doing this.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ktiger41
Wait, I haven't worked in several weeks yet the paychecks keep coming...
Holy shit, I am getting paid to do this.
I fucking rule at life.
Why waste hot sauce to cause pain in others when you can use it to cause pain in yourself?Quote:
Originally Posted by "Ray"
One of my favorites is using either a power sander or planer on a person's fingers. Usually they really start to panic when it hits the bone.
It's really easy to come by. Hard not to waste something that's so plentiful.Quote:
Originally Posted by NosRedna
I find dental surgery works pretty well.
Once you hit those nerves you're set, just keep whacking them with some object (I recommend either a spoon or fork) and watch as the person screams in pain.
Just make sure that the objects you're using to hold the mouth open can withstand the force they'll put on it when you come at their face with a drill or pair of pliers.
Yeah, the human mouth has up to 15 tons per square inch, so it's pretty tough to keep open. Still, if you use something too hard, they may shatter teeth, which is pretty funny to watch.Quote:
Originally Posted by "Ray"
How about slicing tendons in the arms and legs and putting the person in front of a slow-moving steamroller? Or would that be too quick?
Too quick.Quote:
Originally Posted by NosRedna
Now an incredibly slow moving meat grinder (feet first of course) could work, since it would be slower than the average steamroller at lowest speed.
Plus nothing says fear like that loud mechanical whirring of those blades.
For added effect, put additional people or live animals on the track.
Although probably the greatest torture method of all involves tying a person to a table, then putting a caged animal (possibly a rat or small rodent) on the torso. Leave the bottom of the cage open.
As the rat gets hungry, it will gradually tunnel down through the victim, consuming the organs.
You might want to slice off their tongue, remove the vocal chords, or rip off the lower jaw for this one. It gets quite noisy.
Or if all else fails, tie each limb to one slow moving vehicle.
Make it incredibly slow, perhaps 0.1km/hour
And enjoy the show.
Who wants to do my research paper for me? I am tired and do not have the drive to do it right now.
The noise could be a good thing - you could record it and use it to intimidate family members/friends.Quote:
Originally Posted by "Ray"
Another classic is slowly, very slowly, lowering someone (feet first) into either a vat of boiling liquid or molten metal. You either end up with soup or no mess at all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by strongbad
So this paper, how long have you had it assigned? That's always your reason for signing off.
2 months. It is do tommorow and I haven't even picked a fucking topic.Quote:
Originally Posted by Necrosnake
I'd help.Quote:
Originally Posted by strongbad
But I won't.
True. It's also great if you have a torture fetish. Get a camera and make it a snuff film. However, the problem is finding a properly soundproofed area that's away from the public and where you won't attract attention by dragging an unconcious person (or oddly shaped trash bag) into the area. Secluded areas are overrated, too many people take nature walks these days. The open ocean works well, but not a lot of people have access to large freight ships. And fewer can control them alone, or with a small circle of friends with the same hobby.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nos
That works, however the problem is that some objects take too long to dissolve in most chemicals. The molten metal thing works well, however foundry's can be hard to come by. I find a good vat of acid works well, and provided you can keep it around for a while it provides complete disposal, just don't ditch it too soon after the body finishes dissolving, otherwise you'll likely end up with an engraved wedding ring or a filling or something leading cops right to your door.
Which is why it's often a good idea to kill someone you don't know, stalking them for perhaps a day or two a few weeks before the incedent to get an idea of their lifestyle and schedual. By avoiding them for some time you'll likely eliminate any suspicion raised by nosy neighbors or the like.
Topic: internet piracyQuote:
Originally Posted by strongbad
Paper: Pro and anti, as well as regulations and laws.
You can give me a handjob later.
I was actually thinking of doing my paper on mpd. It has to be somehow involved with psychology.Quote:
Originally Posted by "Ray"
Damn, this Hangout is going by fast.
You could write an entire textbook on me. :wacko:Quote:
Originally Posted by strongbad
Eh, go for some mindfuck and state that Freid was obsessed with sex, and that's why psychology is so fucked. Also, he wanted to do his mom, your mom, and his patients' moms. And probably their dads too.
Yeah, MPD sounds like the way to go. Maybe dig up some random psychopath or murderer who had it, go on about treatments, then finish it up by threatening to kill the teacher if he/she doesn't give you an A.
It works for me anyway.
And to think, all it needed was for me to talk about the most effective ways to kill and/or torture people, instead of my usual sexual humor.Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael
I should do this more often.
By "this" I mean strongbad's mom.
...
sorry, old habit.
OMGQuote:
Originally Posted by strongbad
strongbad said "drive"
RUN FOR THE HILLS
I wish I could just google for info but it has I have to have a scholarly journal article from a psychologically based journal. The schools website has a pretty good search engine for this sort of thing but all the results seem to be about a paragraph long.Quote:
Originally Posted by "Ray"