The Wang Out: Because non penis-related titles stink

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Dr Mario

Sprung's only old in human terms. Goblins can live for centuries.

---

Why can't I stop laughing :wacko:?

Ooh, thats fresh. :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Raype

Remember when porn consisted of bootlegged VHS tapes, stolen mags from your dad's sock drawer, traded photos from friends, and the late night matinee on Channel 7?

Those were the days.

---

We used to have an entire huge box full of PlayBoy. :lol
I didn't find out about it until 3 days before we threw the box away, with all the mags.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Nemesis

We used to have an entire huge box full of PlayBoy. :lol
I didn't find out about it until 3 days before we threw the box away, with all the mags.

---

I hope you snuck out and rescued it from the curb before hiding it somewhere.

Or at least hid a few under your shirt before stashing them under your desk.

Double sided tape. How I love thee.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Nemesis

We used to have an entire huge box full of PlayBoy. :lol
I didn't find out about it until 3 days before we threw the box away, with all the mags.

---

You should have sold them.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mimori

Oh you~ ^_^

---

:wacko:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Shardnax

You should have sold them.

---

We asked my brothers if they wanted them.
And my parents found ways to keep me away from them. :(

Somewhere out there is a very happy garbage man.

And possibly a very fugly wife who is not being attended to.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Shardnax

You should have sold them.

---

More on this.

There are used stores where most of their business is from selling porn mags.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Shardnax

You should have sold them.

---

For sale: 1 box of Playboy mags.
Condition: dog eared pages and frequent stains.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Raype

Somewhere out there is a very happy garbage man.

And possibly a very fugly wife who is not being attended to.

---

They actually went straight to the dump.
Do you want to know how big the box was?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Nemesis

They actually went straight to the dump.
Do you want to know how big the box was?

---

*unzips*

Yes.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Shardnax

More on this.

There are used stores where most of their business is from selling porn mags.

---

Speaking of which, I spend a lot of time at used book stores.

As a bonus, I also pick up the sort of chicks that frequent used book stores.

Some of them being pretty hot.

About 6ft high, and about twice the size of an average fat person. :wacko:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Raype

Speaking of which, I spend a lot of time at used book stores.
As a bonus, I also pick up the sort of chicks that frequent used book stores.
Some of them being pretty hot.

---

:lol

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Nemesis

About 6ft high, and about twice the size of an average fat person. :wacko:

---

You definitely should have sold them.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Raype

Do I ever. But we had basic cable. So no Showcase. Not even blurred out. But then I spent a few weeks with family that had a decent package. Much porn watching ensued.

They never should've stopped that. I'd probably still tune in. Decent entertaining softcore is such a rarity nowadays. All that internet porn. It's like the fast food of pornography. Sure, it's fast and easy, but sometimes it's better if you have to wait/work for it.

---

Red Shoe Diaries, narrated by David Duchovny. :<3:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Shardnax

Bunch of cheating little hellions, eh'? :P

---

Yup. Yup we were. :top:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Raype

I hear curvy is in. As are older women. Which means I'll have to switch my type to creepy thin younger girls.

:wacko:

---

... that just so happens to be exactly my type.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Raype

Speaking of which, I spend a lot of time at used book stores.

As a bonus, I also pick up the sort of chicks that frequent used book stores.

Some of them being pretty hot.

---

Notes.

You must give them to me.

NOW!

(Seriously. I have to ask... what do you do in a used book store for any length of time? I always feel like a tool just milling around looking at spines for stuff that I'm not interested in, and don't feel right just standing there reading something I've yet to pay for. But potentially hot women who are at least semi-literate is always a win, and daddy hasn't gotten any in a llloooonnnggg time)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Drageuth

(Seriously. I have to ask... what do you do in a used book store for any length of time? I always feel like a tool just milling around looking at spines for stuff that I'm not interested in, and don't feel right just standing there reading something I've yet to pay for. But potentially hot women who are at least semi-literate is always a win, and daddy hasn't gotten any in a llloooonnnggg time)

---

Only on EP, would talk of book reports lead to this :wacko:.

Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels downloaded and about to be watched.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Shardnax

:lol


You definitely should have sold them.

---

My parents weren't thinking.
They never think.
They could've payed off all of their bills with all those magazines.
I'm pretty sure their were some first issues in there. :wacko:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Drageuth

Red Shoe Diaries, narrated by David Duchovny. :<3:

... that just so happens to be exactly my type.

Notes.

You must give them to me.

NOW!

(Seriously. I have to ask... what do you do in a used book store for any length of time? I always feel like a tool just milling around looking at spines for stuff that I'm not interested in, and don't feel right just standing there reading something I've yet to pay for. But potentially hot women who are at least semi-literate is always a win, and daddy hasn't gotten any in a llloooonnnggg time)

---

YES. SO MUCH. Walking down the street reading X rated letters. Brilliance. Although I had a theory that off camera that writer guy fucked his dog.

You shall be my wingman. :wacko:

Just do exactly that. It's all about presence. Stop feeling like a tool and just sort of hang around browsing or reading a chapter or two of a random book. The sort of people that run those places don't generally care, especially if you happen to buy something eventually or grab the occasional cup of coffee they sell on the side. As for the women part, just make conversation. Helping people find a book is a great start. If you know your books, you can even have a conversation about it. Think your game shop trips, except you're the helpful one and eventually scoring happens. :wacko:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Shardnax

Only on EP, would talk of book reports lead to this :wacko:.

---

16 months, brah.
16 months.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Inferno.

Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels downloaded and about to be watched.

---

:awesome:

Also, a lot of the women you'd find reading tend to be the sort who aren't especially great with men. Often the shy sort.

In short, just as desperate as you. :wacko:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Raype

YES. SO MUCH. Walking down the street reading X rated letters. Brilliance. Although I had a theory that off camera that writer guy fucked his dog.

---

You aren't the only one, believe me. :wacko:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Raype

You shall be my wingman. :wacko:

---

Suit up?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Raype

Just do exactly that. It's all about presence. Stop feeling like a tool and just sort of hang around browsing or reading a chapter or two of a random book. The sort of people that run those places don't generally care, especially if you happen to buy something eventually or grab the occasional cup of coffee they sell on the side. As for the women part, just make conversation. Helping people find a book is a great start. If you know your books, you can even have a conversation about it. Think your game shop trips, except you're the helpful one and eventually scoring happens. :wacko:

---

... I think I have a project for this weekend.
A devious, potentially delicious project.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Raype

Also, a lot of the women you'd find reading tend to be the sort who aren't especially great with men. Often the shy sort.

In short, just as desperate as you. :wacko:

---

I find the shy ones are usually twisted deviants underneath.

Just my type. :wacko:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Drageuth

You aren't the only one, believe me. :wacko:

Suit up?

... I think I have a project for this weekend.
A devious, potentially delicious project.

---

I'm sure somewhere there's fanart of this. I just don't have the heart to look.

Suits tend to scream "I'm trying to hard and may be a rapist". Business Casual up. :wacko:

Yeah, 16 months is a bit crazy. It hasn't even been 16 hours since some girl showed me her tits. And I'm already getting withdrawal.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Drageuth

I find the shy ones are usually twisted deviants underneath.

Just my type. :wacko:

---

They sure are. Just avoid the twilight fans.

Also, anyone browsing the Anne Rice bin. Seriously, RUN.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Drageuth

16 months, brah.
16 months.
:awesome:

---

:lol

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Raype

I'm sure somewhere there's fanart of this. I just don't have the heart to look.

Suits tend to scream "I'm trying to hard and may be a rapist". Business Casual up. :wacko:

Yeah, 16 months is a bit crazy. It hasn't even been 16 hours since some girl showed me her tits. And I'm already getting withdrawal.



They sure are. Just avoid the twilight fans.

Also, anyone browsing the Anne Rice bin. Seriously, RUN.

---

:ahhh:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Raype

Suits tend to scream "I'm trying to hard and may be a rapist". Business Casual up. :wacko:

---

I usually go button up shirt and blue jeans.
... and tattoos.
... and Edmonton Oilers hat.

... no wonder I can't get a date.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Raype

Yeah, 16 months is a bit crazy. It hasn't even been 16 hours since some girl showed me her tits. And I'm already getting withdrawal.

---

16 months since the last time I've had sex.
If I didn't masturbate every night, my right nut would be huge.

Oh, wai-

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Raype

They sure are. Just avoid the twilight fans.

Also, anyone browsing the Anne Rice bin. Seriously, RUN.

---

Wiser words have never been spoken in any forum, be it film, television, radio or literature.
It took the Internet to pass on this valuable piece of information.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Drageuth

I usually go button up shirt and blue jeans.
... and tattoos.
... and Edmonton Oilers hat.

... no wonder I can't get a date.

---

Jeans work with everything.

And, to be fair, it's not for lack of opportunities. I just... have a certain type that I find appealing, and a certain type that I find unappealing. And it seems that the only dates I was able to get for a while were the unappealing types.
And while I'm desperate to shove my dick in something right now, I still have standards.

Horrible, horrible standards.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Shardnax

Jeans work with everything.

---

This is what I have been discovering.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Drageuth

I usually go button up shirt and blue jeans.
... and tattoos.
... and Edmonton Oilers hat.

... no wonder I can't get a date.



16 months since the last time I've had sex.
If I didn't masturbate every night, my right nut would be huge.

Oh, wai-



Wiser words have never been spoken in any forum, be it film, television, radio or literature.
It took the Internet to pass on this valuable piece of information.

---

I wonder how many people named Edward or Jacob have Girlfriends because of those crazy twilight fans. :wacko:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Drageuth

And, to be fair, it's not for lack of opportunities. I just... have a certain type that I find appealing, and a certain type that I find unappealing. And it seems that the only dates I was able to get for a while were the unappealing types.
And while I'm desperate to shove my dick in something right now, I still have standards.

Horrible, horrible standards.

---

Someone needs a dimmer switch.

Or a blindfold. :wacko:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Drageuth

This is what I have been discovering.

---

Jeans also last a lot longer, as long as you're avoiding designer bullshit.

Or just a general lack of standards.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Nemesis

I wonder how many people named Edward or Jacob have Girlfriends because of those crazy twilight fans. :wacko:

---

I wonder how many kids have been named Harry and Hermoine in the past ten years.
The answer? Probably too many.

And while getting chicks because you share a name with someone from a book seems like easy work, these are Twilight fangirls. I wouldn't wish them upon anyone.

Also, it upsets me because no one famous shares my name, and is cool.

Well, okay. There is one.



And trust me, it serves me well.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Shardnax

Jeans also last a lot longer, as long as you're avoiding designer bullshit.

---

See. I'm a guy.
I buy clothes when they are on heavy clearance.
This pair of jeans? $8.
And they fit perfectly fine, and look just like every other pair of jeans.
And if they rip? I won't care.
Because they are jeans.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Raype

Someone needs a dimmer switch.

Or a blindfold. :wacko:

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Dr Mario

Or just a general lack of standards.

---

But you can still feel stuff.

Stuff that is not where it is supposed to be.

Also, hairy forearms.

That does not bode well for what they keep hidden.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Drageuth

I wonder how many kids have been named Harry and Hermoine in the past ten years.
The answer? Probably too many.

And while getting chicks because you share a name with someone from a book seems like easy work, these are Twilight fangirls. I wouldn't wish them upon anyone.

Also, it upsets me because no one famous shares my name, and is cool.

Well, okay. There is one.



And trust me, it serves me well.

---

Fangirls of anything = Total psychopath. :wacko:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Drageuth

I wonder how many kids have been named Harry and Hermoine in the past ten years.
The answer? Probably too many.

And while getting chicks because you share a name with someone from a book seems like easy work, these are Twilight fangirls. I wouldn't wish them upon anyone.

Also, it upsets me because no one famous shares my name, and is cool.

Well, okay. There is one.



And trust me, it serves me well.

---

What about Mr. Reynolds? He's been doing pretty well for himself lately. :wacko:

EDIT- or find a gamer chick and suddenly blurt out "A MAN CHOOSES, A SLAVE OBEYS".

Their panties will come off so fast it'll shatter the sound barrier.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Raype

What about Mr. Reynolds? He's been doing pretty well for himself lately. :wacko:

---

I forgot about him.

And Mr. Gosling, wherever he went.

Seriously though. Reynolds in Blade: Trinity? Fuck, even I would do him.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Drageuth

But you can still feel stuff.

Stuff that is not where it is supposed to be.

Also, hairy forearms.

That does not bode well for what they keep hidden.

---

Easy solution. Stop hitting on the Williams family.

So much body hair. :wacko: