Originally Posted by Grouch
snowman. and now I want to play minecraft
[Deadpool playing Mortal Kombat as Sub-Zero, Skeletor as Scorpion]
SKELETOR: HAH! TAKE THAT, YOU SCARRED BALLSACK IN A RED ONESIE! ANOTHER FATALITY FOR THE PRINCE OF PAIN! You call that a combo?! I’ve seen blind toddlers play with more finesse, and at least they don't smell like old taco meat and desperation!
DEADPOOL: Pfft, relax, Skeletitty. Just cause you finally managed to press more than two buttons in a row doesn't mean you're fucking Daigo. You're like a bony grandma mashing the remote because Judge Judy won't come on.
SKELETOR: INSOLENT MERCENARY TWAT! The only thing you're judging is how many chimichangas you can deepthroat before your colon files a restraining order!
DEADPOOL: Yeah yeah, big words for a dude who looks like a Halloween decoration that never got put away. Don't get cocky, Skeletits. You're two button mashes away from throwing that controller like its He-Man's jockstrap.
SKELETOR: YOU DARE MOCK ME?! I will SHOVE THIS CONTROLLER so far up your ass you'll be pressing X to doubt your life choices! You may have a mouth, Wade, but I have a legacy of villainous rage and a membership at Emuparadise! PREPARE TO BE DIGITALLY DISEMBOWELED!
DEADPOOL: Legacy? Bro, you've been getting your ass kicked by a blonde himbo for forty fuckin' years. I'd call that a legacy of losing. The only disembowelment happening is you getting gutted emotionally when I flawless you next round.
SKELETOR: OH, YOU FLACCID WORM OF WASTED DNA! I'M GONNA RIP OUT YOUR SPINE THROUGH YOUR NOSE-HOLES AND STRING IT LIKE FUCKIN’ CHRISTMAS LIGHTS! TASTE MY UNHOLY WRATH!
(Scorpion lands a brutal finishing move. Deadpool drops the controller.)
DEADPOOL: ...Okay, okay, you win. But only 'cause I was distracted by your horrendous laugh. Sounded like a hyena trying to pass a kidney stone.
SKELETOR: MUAHAHAHAHA! INSULT ME ALL YOU WANT, YOU CRIMSON CROTCH-GOBLIN! VICTORY IS MINE! NOW GET ME A FUCKING SLUSHIE BEFORE I COMBO YOUR SOUL INTO THE NOOB AFTERLIFE!
[Skeletor laughs like a deranged bagpipe, Deadpool flips him off and heads to the fridge.]
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