I just got a new job.

[Gulcasa]

Tech Support.

Should I be scared?

[Mikey]

Be scared depending on how much you know.

[Anonymous]

Just remember these words:

"Sounds like User Error."

You'll never go wrong.

[Raype]

Remember "Is it plugged in?" should always be the first question.

[Gulcasa]

I'm hoping I get the midnight shift. I'm going by the assumption that there'll be fewer calls, but more crazies.

[Mistral]

This may be useful reading if you haven't seen it already. Also, in addition to "is it plugged in?", do not forget, "is it turned on?"

[Ivolt]

Hey, if you're lucky enough, you can make a site just like this guy!

[Bunneh]

This may be useful reading if you haven't seen it already. Also, in addition to "is it plugged in?", do not forget, "is it turned on?"

I am intrigued...I wonder about the statistics of callers to tech support that actually forgot to plug in or turn on the peripheral they were having problems with?

[Chibi-Suke]

I know a woman that believes there is a hacker attacking her computer. Every time there is a problem, or she gets an error message she is convinced it is "the hacker" messing with her. Almost every day she tells me "The hacker made me lose my document" or "The hacker made my email return with a wrong address message" or "The hacker made Explorer freeze today" or "The hacker made Napster lose its connection today" or "The hacker made a floppy unreadable" or "The hacker made the printer jam."

She has even assumed her imaginary enemy has superhuman powers. When I tell her some of the things she says are impossible to do, she says, "He knows how to do it. He is a genius."

She is sure this guy exists, and he devotes enormous resources and several hours a day, seven days a week to the sole purpose of bothering her.

Wow, the same guy is after me too. I just lost every file on my comp. a coupla days ago.

Customer: "I think I've broken my computer! There's a message across the screen that says: 'It is now safe to turn off your PC.' WHAT SHOULD I DO?!?!"

...

are people really so stupid? It's like the down syndrome of computers.

A customer called saying he was getting an error in Windows 95. He told me what the error was, and I recognized this as a typical error that occurs after installing MS Office 97.

* Tech Support: "Sir, did you just install Office 97?"
* Customer: "YOU'RE IN MY COMPUTER, AREN'T YOU?????" (click)

No comment.

I was once using the generic telnet program on the library computers to check my mail on UTM (the local university) with Pine. The computer-inept librarian walked up behind me.

* Her: (shrieking) "WHAT ARE YOU DOING???"
* Me: "I'm checking my email--"
* Her: "It looks like you're breaking into the computer!!"
* Me: "No really -- I'm checking my mail."
* Her: "But that's not HOTMAIL!!"
* Me: "I don't use hotmail. I use--"
* Her: "But EVERYONE uses HOTMAIL!!"
* Me: "No, my account goes through UTM. My email account ends with--"
* Her: "But that's not what MYYY UTM looks like!!" (apparently referring to the UTM web page)
* Me: "Yes, I'm telnetting. It's another way of accessing--"
* Her: "I think you better shut that off. You're breaking into the computer."
* Me: "But I--"
* Her: "Turn it off. I don't believe that 'checking mail' story."

...

Yes, I'm going to steal your... ummm, information about books?

He's already on the dang computer... why would he have to break in?

Stupidity is dangerous and inconvenient.

[The Joker]

i dont get the office 97 one. O_o

[Chibi-Suke]

i dont get the office 97 one. O_o

the guy just installed office 97.

tech support asks him if he did because he recognizes the error.

guy thinks he can spy on his computer.

[The Joker]

the guy just installed office 97.

tech support asks him if he did because he recognizes the error.

guy thinks he can spy on his computer.

he put office 97 on 95?

[Chibi-Suke]

he put office 97 on 95?

No one said he was smart.

[Paladin_Hammer]

Tech Support.

Should I be scared?

No, Tech Support is one of the only jobs you can have where you can piss off countless people and still have a job.

[Fer!]

This may be useful reading if you haven't seen it already. Also, in addition to "is it plugged in?", do not forget, "is it turned on?"

One customer held the mouse in the air and pointed it at the screen like a TV remote, all the while clicking madly.

That site seems old, but that looks like a Wii to me.