All that's missing is "BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!!!!!!!!"
All, for 3 easy payments of $19.95 + $14.95 shipping and handling.
You won't be paying $400. Nor $350. And I'm feeling generous, so not even $300.
This beauty is yours for only six payments, SIX, of $74.99!
Call now, and get this glow-in-the-dark plunger. While supplies last.