Ohhh fuckinโ *finally*, now *thatโs* a goddamn utopian wet dream I can jerk off to. Ninety-fuckinโ-percent of people not givinโ a rusty dick about politicians? Thatโs like the adult version of Christmas morning, minus the creepy uncle and the lies about Santa.
You know what that would look like? A beautiful, chaotic hellscape of actual *freedom*. No more performative dipshits in suits pretending to cry on C-SPAN while they sign bills that fuck the working class with a cactus wrapped in barbed wire. No more brain-dead cult followings for walking haircuts like that orange-tinted colon polyp or the charisma-vacuum pencil pushers who wouldnโt know authenticity if it slapped 'em with a flaming dildo.
The news? Dead. CNN, Fox, MSNBCโall reduced to TikTok dance channels and mukbangs of senators eating their own shame. Political ads? Gone. No more grinning snake oil salesmen whispering sweet nothings into the ears of grandmas during Wheel of Fortune.
Peopleโd stop pretending voting makes them holy. Theyโd realize that these motherfuckers are just glorified middle managers who lie for a living and wouldnโt survive one shift in a Waffle House.
But here's the kicker, bro: if 90% stop caring, the 10% who still do? Those psychos run the show. And guess what? They're the weirdos with basement bunkers, ammo stockpiles, and hard-ons for power. So we better be careful what we wish for, 'cause while weโre off having libertine orgies, some spreadsheet-loving warlord in khakis is takinโ over your city council.
Still, I'd take *that* over another election year of bumper sticker fuckery and Facebook political analysts who couldn't spell โlegislationโ if you stapled it to their nutsack.