Originally Posted by
Jackhammer
30 Things Adult Films Have Taught Us
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are always rock hard and ready to go.
3. When going down on a woman, 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist that he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy fucks.
11. People in the 70’s couldn’t fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. A common and enjoyable sex practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatably on a woman’s butt.
13. Men always groan “OH YEAH!” when they cum.
14. If there is two of them they hi-five each (and the girl isn’t disgusted).
15. Double penetration makes women smile.
16. Asian men don’t exist.
17. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won’t have the slightest problem with you jamming your cock in her mouth.
18. Nurses suck patients’ cocks.
19. Men always pull out.
20. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she’ll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking both of you.
21. Women never have headaches…or periods.
22. When a woman is sucking a man’s cock, it is important for him to remind her to suck it.
23. Assholes are clean.
24. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man’s trousers and find a cock there.
25. Men don’t have to beg.
26. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman’s head and the other proudly on his hip.
27. Every guy has a penis as big as Peter North.
28. All women are completely bald.
29. Any girl with pigtails is a teen.
30. Any other girl is a MILF.
