The Dismemberment-Out: It's been nice knowing you, Jazz

[Kouen Hasuki]

I am so fucking tired.
Gotta pick up kiddo in less than an hour.
Then maybe go to the park if it's nice out.
I haven't even looked outside yet.

Power nap time?

[TheRealSpiders]

WE WORK AS SECRETARIES FOR VIDEOGAME COMPANIES/MADE 1-2 INDIE GAMES 5 YEARS AGO SO WE KNOW LOTS OF STUFF AND ARE QUALIFIED TO MAKE PLENTY OF GUESSWORK AND PASS IT OFF AS FACT.

Pretty much the reason I stopped watching it. It became more or less an exercise to see how long I could go with out getting angry.

[Drageuth]

Power nap time?

Considering I have to leave in about fifteen minutes, something tells me this won't work too well.

[Kouen Hasuki]

Considering I have to leave in about fifteen minutes, something tells me this won't work too well.

Chomp some coffee beans

[Fer!]

The whole Escapist thing is stupid to me.

Yahtzee is fucking annoying and everyone makes a god out of him for some reason.

Then there's that disgusting Jim Sterling guy. Bleh.

[Inferno.]

The whole Escapist thing is stupid to me.

Yahtzee is fucking annoying and everyone makes a god out of him for some reason.

Then there's that disgusting Jim Sterling guy. Bleh.

I find them amusing but I don't take their reviews seriously.

[Inferno.]

I can't believe how well Perfect Dark still plays, the graphics are fantastic as well. I was seriously surprised by it this afternoon when I popped it into the N64.

I was expecting it to have aged as terribly as Goldeneye.

[Panda Man]

I find them amusing but I don't take their reviews seriously.

Pretty sure they never were meant to be.

[Inferno.]

Pretty sure they never were meant to be.

The only reviews I ever watch/take any notice of are by ClassicGameRoom on YouTube. I absolutely love his reviews, even terrible games he reviews he makes them sound fun, and doesn't take himself too seriously.

[Gare]

I don't really mind Yahtzee, mostly because he just does it for shits and giggles. I don't really consider his videos proper reviews.

The Extra Credits guys, on the other hand, are supposed to be taken seriously. Like RealSpiders said, it's usually a "how long until I start to rage" with every new episode.

[Kouen Hasuki]

The only reviews I ever watch/take any notice of are by ClassicGameRoom on YouTube. I absolutely love his reviews, even terrible games he reviews he makes them sound fun, and doesn't take himself too seriously.

How about Screwattack?

[Inferno.]

I really need to finish some of the games I started, I've got too much on the go at the minute: Resident Evil 4 (GC), Blast Corps (N64), Pilotwings (N64), Bulletstorm (PS3) and Metro 2033 (360). I haven't posted in the recently finished games thread for what seems like eternity.

[Fer!]

BUT BUT U CANT AIM DOWN DA SIGTS AND IT HAZ NO KILLZTREAKZ



It annoys me when I hear that 'Halo was the first console FPS that was actually playable with a controller'.

Yeah, Goldeneye and Perfect Dark were absolute trainwrecks and nobody was able to play it properly, we were just lucky with it.

[Raype]

The whole Escapist thing is stupid to me.

Yahtzee is fucking annoying and everyone makes a god out of him for some reason.

Then there's that disgusting Jim Sterling guy. Bleh.

How to write a review by yahtzee:

1.) Is it like every other game in the genre?

If yes:

"WHY IS THIS SO UNORIGINAL? It's just like game X" Be sure to bring up game x as much as possible. If you can't come up with a game x, spend a lot of time making them sound the same. If you can, be sure to bring it and any copycats up repeatedly. And if the gameplay doesn't change things up, bring up repetitiveness.

If no:

"I DON'T LIKE THIS. IT'S TOO DIFFERENT. WHY IS IT SO WEIRD AND UNUSUAL?" Be sure to bring up how attempting to do multiple things often just makes each individual thing inferior to games that focus on one thing.

2.) Does the game have an online mode?

if yes

a.) And they use the online to pad the experience so you don't notice that the single player is a mere x hours long with no replay value.

if no

b.) Why in this day and age are we limited to a single player campaign with no replay value?

3.) Is the game hard? Does it have a difficulty select?

a.) it has difficulty select

Play on easy. Repeat "THIS GAME IS TOO EASY."

b.) it is difficult even with the difficulty select

"This game is cheap and consists of a lot of cheap shots.

C.) game is difficult and has no difficulty select

"This game is bullshit hard and only OCD fuckwits would play it."

4.) Does the game have regenerating health/some other common successor to an antiquated gameplay mechanic?

If yes:

a.) Bitch about it repeatedly.

If no:

b.) WHY IS THIS GAME SO OLD STYLE. IT'S STUCK IN THE 90'S. AND IT'S SHIT.

5.) Are we at 5 minutes yet?

if yes:

a.) roll credits

if no:

b.) go back over script and put in as many dick/ass/feces jokes as you can.

[Inferno.]

BUT BUT U CANT AIM DOWN DA SIGTS AND IT HAZ NO KILLZTREAKZ



It annoys me when I hear that 'Halo was the first console FPS that was actually playable with a controller'.

Yeah, Goldeneye and Perfect Dark were absolute trainwrecks and nobody was able to play it properly, we were just lucky with it.

I find the Quake 1 control scheme perfect, using the analogue stick to move around and left C and right C to strafe. Since it auto aims you don't need to look up or down. I think this is the perfect control scheme, this is also the default scheme for Goldeneye as well I think?

Games like Turok and Quake 2 that use the C buttons to move around and the stick as a way to look up or down are just a bit too clunky for me...