Ask Doctor Robotnik!

[Dr. Ivo Robotnik]

1. How many golf balls can you fit in a school bus?
2. How much should you charge to wash all the windows in Seattle?
3. How many piano tuners are there in the entire world?
4. Every man in a village of 100 married couples has cheated on his wife. Every wife in the village instantly knows when a man other than her husband has cheated, but does not know when her own husband has. The village has a law that does not allow for adultery. Any wife who can prove that her husband is unfaithful must kill him that very day. The women of the village would never disobey this law. One day, the queen of the village visits and announces that at least one husband has been unfaithful. What happens?
5. You are shrunk to the height of a nickel and your mass is proportionally reduced so as to maintain your original density. You are then thrown into an empty glass blender. The blades will start moving in 60 seconds. What do you do?
6. If you look at a clock and the time is 3:15, what is the angle between the hour and the minute hands?
7. Suppose we have N companies, and we want to eventually merge them into one big company. How many ways are there to merge?
8. Why are manhole covers round?
9. A man pushed his car to a hotel and lost his fortune. What happened?
10. Explain the significance of “dead beef.”
11. Design an evacuation plan for San Francisco.
12. You have eight balls all of the same size. Seven of them weigh the same, and one of them weighs slightly more. How can you find the ball that is heavier by using a balance and only two weighings?

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?
7. Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?
8. Why do “tug” boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” when we are already there?
10. Why are they called “stands” when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?
12. Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a “wise man” and ” wise guy” opposites?
14. Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?
15. Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27. Christmas – What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
28. if someone tells you something is dirty what do you think first perverted dirty or mud kind of dirty?
29. what will the Robotnik gameconsole be like?
30. if sonic went back in time by exactly 10 minutes and challenged himself to a race which sonic would win?
31. was sonic a sellout in adventure for not wearing his trademark sneakers?
32. why was sonic and the black knight recalled and why werent you in it?
33. http://www.sonicgear.org/FanEvents/J...manCostume.jpg is this a good you?

more questions from my colorful friend!!!

Oh good, more of these. You realise that there aren't really questions to me, but rather just the sheer epitomy of randomosity, with no real goal nor drive whatsoever? Oh well. Incidentally, your numbering system is out of whack. Tell your colourful friend to get that straight at least.

- I suspect that any ball held by a golf club would be held in a ballroom.
- Ownership of the city.
- I don't care. Do you care? Would anyone?
- With luck, a massacre. Towns this stupid aren't viable for further existence.
- I will consider the problem from every angle, and then decide that it's not really happening because not even I could come up with a situation quite so ridiculous.
- None. I have a digital clock. Next.
- ...one. Shove 'em all together. Done.
- Because it's the only shape with which the lid can't drop into it.
- He pushed his car to a hotel and lost his fortune.
- It's not alive.
- This is not a question.
- Put the balls in my scanner which is next to my scales. Next.
- Har, and indeed, har.
- Is it? To my knowledge, it's not universally agreed that the second hand is the "third hand" of a clock. Who's to say it's not the first hand? Or the actual second? I call it that blinky colon between the numbers. Digital clock again.
- It's called schooling.
- I take offense to calling Webster the first dictionary writer.
- "Whack" is the sound Sonic makes as he runs into a wall or my Eggmobile. If he does not do so and defeat me, something must obviously be wrong, hence "out of whack".
- Why not?
- Parallel linguistic development.
- Because it's easier, and the old name "tug boat" stuck.
- Correction: you sing that. I would not be caught dead singing that.
- Because when the term was coined, they weren't.
- It's a shortened version of "after the onset of darkness" (or similar).
- Quite. Therefore my advice would be for you to always expect the expected. After all, then I can blindside you. I expect you grasp this fact?
- One can be both. But being a wise man definitely does not automatically mean being a wise guy, nor vice versa. The two terms aren't opposites. Being a wise man - I.e. me - makes one a better wiseguy, of course.
- They don't mean opposite things. One can do both. They also have multiple meanings. I'm going to have to ask you from now on to clarify the EXACT MEANING of every linguistic question you ask to ensure this confusion does not arise again.
- Because you've asked this before. Really, at least CHECK your backlog of questions.
- I wonder who said work is terrific. Half the planet would disagree with him.
- The audience consists of the people not acting actively at the current time of action.
- Because metaphors.
- Yes, because these two afflictions are clearly related. Really? Also, the words "all right" shouldn't be that hard to read.
- Because you've also asked this before.
- and this!
- Because they're bloody synonyms.
- Why else would one need to abbreviate it?
- You just keep believing that and drying yourself off with what by now must resemble hardwood.
- It does.
- You only have one?
- Every day? Barring the socks. I tend to eat off plates.
- Yes.
- Better than all the others. Also smarter.
- They are still both one and the same. If the past one wins, the future one will already have won. If the future one wins, the past one will win later.
- ...he... wore them? What else was he wearing in that game? Slippers?
- Your second question answers your first.
- Acceptable, though that gargantuan Tails freaks me out.

EDIT: These three replies were appended as I was answering that gargantuan list. They will be added to this post now.

OMG

What?

Why haven't you gotten bored of staring at walls of text? What is wrong with you?

Mostly because it's an amusing diversion, though I'll grant some of the walls of text are becoming rather massive at times. And there is nothing wrong with me, thank you very much indeed.

Its all a bit much

What is? I mean, really? The questions? Your posts? Give me more details!