Fuckin' same. Ever since my girlfriend left me 3 days before Christmas I've done jack shit but sit on my ass and play games. :wacko:Quote:
Originally Posted by Grouch
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Fuckin' same. Ever since my girlfriend left me 3 days before Christmas I've done jack shit but sit on my ass and play games. :wacko:Quote:
Originally Posted by Grouch
I went from marriage to an unwaveringly obedient epic slut on a valiant quest for every man's cock under my command to get fucked so she knows why my dick is the best while I quest for all the world's pussies to know that her cunt is the best. I'm experiencing relationship change but not boredom.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ace Ventura
Quote:
In the grand tradition of the Enlightenment, I shall endeavor to weave a tapestry of words that, while they may shock the prudish, will surely delight the liberated and the adventurous. Let us embark on this journey of linguistic exploration, and paint a picture of a world where you the voluptuous goddess are not a mere object of desire, but an empowered agent of her own pleasure.
Our heroine, a veritable Venus emerging from the waves of lust, possesses a visage that would make the very angels weep with envy. Her eyes, twin pools of liquid hazel, sparkle with mischief and mystery, while her hair, a cascade of golden waves, tumbles down her back like a waterfall of molten gold. Her lips, as crimson as the finest Burgundy, are always parted in a siren's song, beckoning the eager and the curious to partake in the delights that lie within.
Her body, a temple of Aphrodite, is a testament to the divine craftsmanship of nature. Her tits, like twin globes of alabaster, are crowned with nipples that stand proud and erect, as if daring the world to gaze upon their perfection. Her waist, a delicate wasp's waist, nips in at the middle, only to blossom out into a ripe, lush peach of an ass that would make the finest sculptors of antiquity weep with envy. And her pussy, ah, her pussy! A glorious, golden-furred cleft that, when parted, reveals the most delicate, tender, and exquisitely delicious of cunt delights.
Our heroine, however, is no mere passive object of desire. She is a woman of passion and of action, a maenad who revels in the pleasures of the flesh and the spirit. She knows that the pursuit of pleasure is the noblest of all pursuits, and that the exploration of the depths of human desire is the highest form of enlightenment.
And so, she embarks on a journey of self-discovery, a journey that takes her to the farthest reaches of the world and the deepest recesses of the human soul. She encounters men of all shapes, sizes, and colors, and she samples their varieties of cock with the curiosity of a scholar and the passion of a poet. She takes them to her bed, and she takes them to the stars, and she takes them to the very edge of reason and beyond.
She fucks them with the skill and the grace of a dancer, her body moving in a symphony of lust that leaves her paramours breathless and panting. She rides them like a jockey, her curvaceous hips moving in a rhythm that is at once hypnotic and exhilarating. She sucks their dicks dry like a babe at the breast, her lips and her tongue and her throat working in perfect harmony to bring them to preternatural ejaculatory ecstasy and beyond.
And in the end, she is always left wanting more, her body aching for the next erotic adventure, the next cock, the next fuckfest. She is a true libertine, a champion of the Enlightenment, a woman who knows that the pursuit of cunts and cocks ejaculating is the noblest of all quests, and that the exploration of the depths of human orgasm is the highest form of enlightenment.
So, my friends, let us raise a glass to our heroine, a woman of passion and of fornication, a maenad who revels in the pleasures of the flesh and the spirit.
Let us toast her health, her happiness, and her insatiable hunger for the myriad phalluses of the world. And let us remember, always, that her pursuit of billions of dicks is the noblest of all pursuits, and that the exploration of the upper numerical limit of huge pricks cumming simultaneously in synchronized fucking and the magnitude of limitless female ejaculation is the highest form of enlightenment.
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Zsed domī maneās parēsque nōbīsQuote:
Keep a dick tally in a diary for a posthumous Guinness Book World Record of number of cocks had for posterity to be awed by and never surpass. Try as every future woman may in futility to beat it.
novem continuās futūtiōnēs.
('but you remain at home and prepare for us
nine acts of fucking, one after the other.')
Victor bene valeās quī bene futuis
('Victorious, best wishes to one who fucks well').
Oof, sorry to hear that. Yeah life is sometimes dull.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ace Ventura
Till: Hmm, I'm intrigued. What did you have in mind, Sargeant Hotsauce?
Sargeant Hotsauce: Well, I was thinking we could start with a nice, relaxing massage... but then maybe you could take off my clothes and explore other areas.
Till: Fuck, I think I'm getting hard just imagining it. You're good at giving massages, huh?
Sargeant Hotsauce: Oh yes, I'm very skilled at it. But you know what would feel even better? My tongue sliding up and down your big, hard cock.
Till: Damn, you read my mind, Sargeant. I want you to take me in your mouth and give me the deepest, dirtiest blowjob you can muster. Suck my dick like you're trying to taste the back of my throat.
We aren't good planners, everything turns into a fuckfest quickly.Quote:
Originally Posted by Till
been playing some smw hacks the last few days just finished up one today and have also been playing through DKC 2 again it's still my fav of the snes games.
DKC2 is a awesome game. It'd be cool if Nintendo remade them or remaster them. Then again maybe its best if they're left alone.
they kinda did with the GBA but they did kinda mess them up. they changed the overworlds(quite a bit in some cases) it's been a while since I've played them but I think they rearranged a few of the levels. they changed some of the bosses most noticeably in 2 with cleaver being changed into a lava monster wielding a sword and I think they added a boss to K.Rools keepQuote:
Originally Posted by LeftyGuitar
the graphics were also changed noticeably from the originals they look more cell shaded the sound fx was also changed to rather generic sounds when bouncing on enemies. there are some other things they did like adding a save anywhere feature, fast travel, collectables and new mini-games but by doing some of these things they made moat of the kong family useless.
oh and they added some cut-scenes most noticeably at the beginning of 2(in order to explain the story) so some of the changes were good but not nearly enough of them.
I tried DKC returns on 3ds but I just couldn't get into it the controls sucked you only had 2 configs to choose from(thanks nintendicks) and the character spites were tiny it was as bad as rayman origins
GBA is, in my opinion, better than Switch. Why? It's the Swiss Army knife of retro emulation. It's better than the SNES in that respect.Quote:
Originally Posted by Grouch
Also, we should all post our POV fucking pics as EP exclusives.
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Three rules for world peace.Quote:
Originally Posted by Till
1. Do no harm.
2. Play.
3. Fuck.
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Rule 1: DO NO HARM. Gotta protect the planet, treat each other nice. No killing, robbing or hurting. Keep the environment safe, clean and healthy to explore.
Rule 2: PLAY. We all agree to fucking adulate the art of play. All countries, all people, gotta focus on fun and games over fighting.
Rule 3: FUCK. Fucking have fun fucking!
Share rules freely to lift up society for everyone.
It's life. Turns out for the past two years (A year and 2 months of it we've been together. Had a 10 month "break" when she married the guy she left me for) she's been lying and cheating on me with a guy who supposedly gave her PTSD. So even before she left me to marry the guy she met at her job, she was cheating on me. And then I saved her from her and her kids from her shitty and abusive marriage, and she was still cheating on me with the guy who supposedly gave her PTSD.Quote:
Originally Posted by LeftyGuitar
So I'm just going to stay alone forever at this point tbh.
Not to mention I'm unemployed af so I got nothing good going on in my life lol.
Sometimes its the best to just stay alone.
Or just work on your pick-up lines.Quote:
Originally Posted by LeftyGuitar
Quote:
My dear, it would be an honor to indulge in your delectable fantasy cunt nine times a day.Your imaginary pussy is so alluring that even the ghosts of Cartesian dials would weep with envy at my stamina. Lead the way, my hallucinatory muse. I eagerly await the nine daily onanistic climaxes that await.
:sweat:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ace Ventura
If you find another chick, make her pay her own way :wacko:.
Finding one that's a keeper under 40 years old nowadays is slim pickings with only younger generations to choose from.Quote:
Originally Posted by Slacker Magician