Ask Doctor Robotnik!

[Grouch]

It amazes - and gratifies - me as well.

Well, the primary reason for me wanting to conquer the world is to unseat the leading regimes of the planet. Things like that idiotic SOPA law are merely proof of the righteousness of my ideals. Now to convince the rest of the planet. And perhaps that hateful Hedgehog...



I aim to please. When I'm ruler, that is.

my hero
do you like cheerleaders?
how about instant ramen do you like it?

[Joe Blog]

Really now, I'd like to think that Sonic and I are above such childish pranks!

...well, at least I am above such childish pranks!

...

Screw it. 5A-55, fetch my paint.

How did the painting of sonic go?

[Iamerror]

I was wondering, what is the starting pay for minions?
Do they get insurance, and holiday bonuses?
Do you know Bowser and Ganon?
What will you do to Sonic when you catch him?
What do you think of the horrible Sonic the hedgehog cartoon in the 90's?
Do you get royalties from the games?
I'm just curious.Thanks

[Dr. Ivo Robotnik]

How do you feel about Diablo 3 coming out?

Fairly happy. It's a game that can be put away on short notice should something urgent come up, and can be returned to once the threat has been dealt with. I don't have a great deal of time for it, regardless, but it's a nice form of relaxation after another busy day of plotting and/or being defeated.

my hero
do you like cheerleaders?
how about instant ramen do you like it?

- Cheerleaders? I have no interest in them, to be quite frank. They're tarted up girls there to essentially provide the boobs for a low-IQ crowd. I'll pass.
- Instant ramen? It gets a bit boring sometimes, but it's ridiculously easy to make, and exceptionally cheap. It has a lot to recommend for itself.

How did the painting of sonic go?

He was mildly annoyed. Then he washed it off. In hindsight, I really don't know why I did this.

I was wondering, what is the starting pay for minions?
Do they get insurance, and holiday bonuses?
Do you know Bowser and Ganon?
What will you do to Sonic when you catch him?
What do you think of the horrible Sonic the hedgehog cartoon in the 90's?
Do you get royalties from the games?
I'm just curious.Thanks

- The starting pay for (non-robotic) minions is determined by how well they present themselves, and by what they can accomplish in the first few weeks of their tenure. If they're useless, they're demoted to janitor and get paid little. If they do well, they get a higher position, and get paid a little better.
- Of course they do. Of course, the holiday bonuses come with an exceptionally strict non-disclosure agreement (And believe me, I will find out if someone breaks the agreement.), but I'm not heartless. Just bent on conquering the world.
- Vaguely. They usually annoy me, although Ganon, at least, isn't evil for evil's sake. He has a goal beyond "kidnap the princess, then figure it out as I go along". Sometimes.
- I have a few ideas in mind, but my first move will be to keep him incarcerated and attempt to convince him of the fact that my cause is just and Sonic is just helping corrupt regimes stay in power. Should that fail, I will keep him imprisoned until I have, in fact, conquered the world. As ever, I am hesitant to kill the Hedgehog. I've tried to do so on occasion when I was driven over the edge, and I still regret those moments.
- That one wasn't too bad. Although, are you referring to the US version (known as SatAM, I believe), or to the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog? Because neither of them were truly bad. They were just geared to an audience of a young age in the 90's. Humour has taken a different turn since then.
- I do, as a matter of fact. Sega does at least try to keep me cheerful. I might be made a fool of by their games, but overall they at least strive to make me a credible threat. And they realise I am a credible threat, given the lovely notes (with cheques) I get for every game. I'll see if I can't dig one out later and quote it here, they're really quite well-written, if a bit fawning.

Nothing wrong with a good bit of curiosity. It's one of the foundations of science, after all!

[Joe Blog]

He was mildly annoyed. Then he washed it off. In hindsight, I really don't know why I did this.

You should have used oil based paint, he would have never got that off unless he took a bath in painter tirps

[YKTG_ZX]

Helipack issues? Speak to E-102 Gamma. He has a hover-jet. Oh wait, that boltbag betrayed me and then self-destructed. Mind you, I sort of agree with his motives in hindsight, but all the same. I'll toss you a spare hover-jet at some point. And no, you couldn't take me. D'you know why? A grappling hook, no matter with how much force you fire it, will not penetrate the Egg Dragoon II's armour. Sonic is a unique case. You are not Sonic, ergo, you will not win.

The RYNO Z was a rejected prototype because it underperformed. Oh, sure, it looked immensely flashy, but the immense dispersion rate and low ammo capacity meant that it did next to no damage. The RYNO V already suffered from this flaw, but not as badly. Really, I do research these kinds of things you know.

Also, you might've fought robots with twice the armour and weapons as I currently have, but I'm not a robot, now am I? I'm a roboticist. There's a minor difference, but essentially it means that I could've built you. Easily, in fact. Your specifications are decent, but not that astounding.

Did I mention I'm not a bad hacker in my spare time? Precisely.

About portal technology, it varies. The 'rips in space' theorem is fairly popular, but risky if attempted at long range, as it does bend some of the dimensional rules in place in 'our' reality. Dismantling and reassembling, as unsettling as the thought is, remains probably the only reliable form of teleportation. True teleportation, as in literally instantly appearing in another spot, should prove exceptionally suicidal. Mostly because your molecules would materialise in a place where other molecules, such as air molecules, would already be present. This would lead to atomic fusion. And one hell of an explosion.

Turbo is preternaturally angry, it's pretty much how he's designed. And hey, he punched you, so I like him.

yeah the dudes pretty angry......
and btw, i dont ever fire it hard enough to go through anything. i just grab stuff. kinda like a cyborg spider-man. the ryno z is not that one, but is instead a prototype i made. although it does have a low ammo count, it does pack a punch. btw, crash says hi.

oh and im not a robot. my pals a robot. yeah hes no longer allowed on this site without his own profile. soo........

[YKTG_ZX]

i have a few serious questions!
black mesa or aperature?
megaman or zero?
crash or cortex?
what do you want for christmas?
bruce lee or chuck norris?
if one was able to play as you in street fighter, what moves would you have?
corvette or camero?
autobot or decepticon?
batman or captain america?
do you think i lied to you by saying these questions are important? well i didnt. if you want to be the world leader, we need to know a lot about you.
gadgetron, megacorp, grummelnet, or apogee industries?

the most important one:
how do you, dr nefarious, cortex, or any other mad scientist afford to build a space station per year, just to have it destroyed by some wahoo in a spaceship, or going super state, or nochalontly walking into it and pushing the big red button labeled "emergency airlock release"? just curious

how rad are your slope skills? because i know for a fact you were at the olympics.
do you and your mad scientist collegues have a "mad scientist convention"?
what programming languages do you know?
can i have what remains of gamma? we have the technology, and quite frankly he would be a cool buddy for planet hopping. that is... if his brain is still intact(and yes i know its just a lot of circuts)

[Dr. Ivo Robotnik]

You should have used oil based paint, he would have never got that off unless he took a bath in painter tirps

Friction tends to eradicate it. You'll note Sonic runs VERY fast.

yeah the dudes pretty angry......
and btw, i dont ever fire it hard enough to go through anything. i just grab stuff. kinda like a cyborg spider-man. the ryno z is not that one, but is instead a prototype i made. although it does have a low ammo count, it does pack a punch. btw, crash says hi.

oh and im not a robot. my pals a robot. yeah hes no longer allowed on this site without his own profile. soo........

Fair enough. All the same, I doubt the Ryno Z will outperform the older models.

i have a few serious questions!
black mesa or aperature?
megaman or zero?
crash or cortex?
what do you want for christmas?
bruce lee or chuck norris?
if one was able to play as you in street fighter, what moves would you have?
corvette or camero?
autobot or decepticon?
batman or captain america?
do you think i lied to you by saying these questions are important? well i didnt. if you want to be the world leader, we need to know a lot about you.
gadgetron, megacorp, grummelnet, or apogee industries?

the most important one:
how do you, dr nefarious, cortex, or any other mad scientist afford to build a space station per year, just to have it destroyed by some wahoo in a spaceship, or going super state, or nochalontly walking into it and pushing the big red button labeled "emergency airlock release"? just curious

how rad are your slope skills? because i know for a fact you were at the olympics.
do you and your mad scientist collegues have a "mad scientist convention"?
what programming languages do you know?
can i have what remains of gamma? we have the technology, and quite frankly he would be a cool buddy for planet hopping. that is... if his brain is still intact(and yes i know its just a lot of circuts)

- Given that Aperture Science has degenerated into a company apparently non-existant and purely there for GLaDOS, I'm inclined to go with Black Mesa. They might've accidentally ruined the planet as a whole, but at least they didn't do so out of willful stupidity. Much.
- Never really played the games, so neither.
- Cortex. They might both be silly, but at least Cortex TRIES to be a scientist.
- Preferably the world. A good second would be a new toolbox. Mine's getting old.
- Bloody neither. I hate the both of 'em.
- Well, given that in game continuity I am apparently able to punch CARS out of my way easily, not to mention outrun Sonic, I'd say I'd be a speed-power type with moves associated.
- Eggmobile.
- Both factions are incompetent. I could've built them better, stronger, and more efficiently.
- Hrm, somewhat dark, cynical, yet highly honourable hero versus a horrendous example of terrifyingly bad propaganda, to the extent that even the CREATORS had him killed off in the end because they realised just how bad he was? Batman.
- I didn't think you lied to me, but I qualify importance of questions on my own scale, not yours. Your qualification seems to imply that I'm running for government election here. My qualification implies that I'm trying to take over the world by force, no matter what people think of me.
- If those're the only choices available, I'm inclined to go with Gadgetron. They're the ones responsible for the original RYNO series, after all. If I had MORE choices, I'd be inclined to say EggCorp. I do have my own weapons development department you know.
- See EggCorp for funding questions. People seem incapable of realising that I own it. Yes, with that name.
- Actually, that fact was Sega trying to cash in on my popularity - okay, Sonic's - by coupling him with another popular franchise. I myself was never present at the olympics. Most games are chronicles. Some are just cheap cash-ins. My slope skills aren't 'rad' and I would never use that term to describe anything, ever.
- Nah, we're all too secretive.
- All of them.
- Yes, I have the technology too. So no.

[Joe Blog]

Why in your first attemp to take over the world did you put spikes everywhere all they did was make going for a walk deadly

[j-sime]

Hey, now... tell me something:

I always wondered how you could run faster than Sonic in Death Egg Zone, after the Mecha Sonic fight.
Tell me how you could run that much... errrr... despite your weight and all. Is that some new technology or something? I'm interested on that and I also thought Sonic was the fastest thing out there.
And... one more thing... your legs are so thin compared to your body... how can you stand your body weight on foot?

[Iamerror]

I want to know how you got started as Dr. Robotnik, what I mean is what is your back story?
How do feel about Nintendo owning Sonic?
Do you like the new Sonic games?
Why do hate Sonic, what did he do to you?
Did you have help designing your lair?
What do you have a PH.d in?
What is your given name?
Where are you from?
How do you feel about other heroes, Mario or Link for example?
Thanks.pyro:

[Nemkoon]

How do you like my website? (link in sig)

[Kouen Hasuki]

How do you like my website? (link in sig)

Shameless self promotion

anyway on topic

Why not try to destroy Sonic from within, maybe food nanobots or maybe plant a seed of deceit in his friends

[Dr. Ivo Robotnik]

Why in your first attemp to take over the world did you put spikes everywhere all they did was make going for a walk deadly

Actually, I only added spikes to my own bases, the ones in areas such as Green Hill were natural features of the landscape, weirdly enough. Some regions are simply completely insane. Also, the spikes were there to deter attacks. It didn't work against SONIC, of course, but nobody else got through, so they did their job.

Hey, now... tell me something:

I always wondered how you could run faster than Sonic in Death Egg Zone, after the Mecha Sonic fight.
Tell me how you could run that much... errrr... despite your weight and all. Is that some new technology or something? I'm interested on that and I also thought Sonic was the fastest thing out there.
And... one more thing... your legs are so thin compared to your body... how can you stand your body weight on foot?

Actually, my running speed is higher than Sonic only when I'm on pure adrenalin, and even then I can outlast him for about two or three seconds. Which is the time I need to get to my next fallback. Also, the body-weight issue is purely a glandular problem, please stop pointing it out. My legs might be thin, but they're wiry. I'm fine.

I want to know how you got started as Dr. Robotnik, what I mean is what is your back story?
How do feel about Nintendo owning Sonic?
Do you like the new Sonic games?
Why do hate Sonic, what did he do to you?
Did you have help designing your lair?
What do you have a PH.d in?
What is your given name?
Where are you from?
How do you feel about other heroes, Mario or Link for example?
Thanks.pyro:

- How I got started... well, that's an immensely long story, parts of which are quite painful, so I won't go into all the details. Suffice it to say when I was younger, I was working with GUN's science team, trying to do my bit to help out the world. I was basically deemed too intelligent, however, and was prosecuted for it. Now, that was bad enough, but when I later found out what those cretins did to my family, especially my grandfather and niece... let's just say it opened my eyes to the insanity that is the world's leading regimes. That's when I decided that it appeared the only one qualified to rule this world was me! Sadly, Sonic disagreed. The Hedgehog's decided that I'm evil, and that GUN is a bunch of champions of good. Never was able to convince the Hedgehog, although my first few schemes were so simplistic, in hindsight they looked like I was a cartoon villain or something. A very competent cartoon villain, but really, what was I thinking?
- Nintendo doesn't own Sonic, just as much as they don't own me. Both Sonic and myself are very much our own beings, but SEGA has the rights to reproduce our stories and use our characters for the occasional spinoff title (if we agree to it, that is). And it's still SEGA that owns the rights. They merely produce for Nintendo's systems now that their own consoles went bust. I told them they should've called it the Egg GameStation, but would they listen...?
- Some of them. I'll grant that they're trying for accuracy, though they make a fool of me a bit too much for my liking. Still, at least they've finally figured out that in chronicling my defeats, they should still make the daft games halfway playable.
- I don't hate Sonic, per se. But he directly opposes my plans for conquest, which sort of makes him trickier to deal with. I respect his immense ability and his strong beliefs. It's just that my beliefs are diametrically opposed to his, and I'm right. He's not. Any questions?
- Of course not. It's hardly a secret lair if someone else helps design it and then happily skips back out into society. The only help I have is from my robots, which I've built myself.
- Mechanical Engineering, naturally, although my expertise is far broader than that.
- My given name is Ivo Robotnik. For some reason, Archie is chronicling the history of a dimensional counterpart of myself whose full name is JULIAN Ivo Robotnik, but I'm just Ivo. 'Eggman' is merely a nickname. I prefer to be called Dr. Robotnik.
- I prefer my origins to remain undisclosed, thank you.
- Well, they're... heroes. They try to save their world from an unequivocally evil threat. I'm not unequivocally evil, I'm just trying to reshape society. Some might VIEW that as evil. But I disagree.

How do you like my website? (link in sig)

The site design works fairly well, congratulations. Just one minor nitpick, because I am who I am: It's spelled Aladdin, not Alladin.

Yes, I can be petty.

Shameless self promotion

anyway on topic

Why not try to destroy Sonic from within, maybe food nanobots or maybe plant a seed of deceit in his friends

Food nanobots is a little too close to using poison, and I try to avoid that. It's a bit tricky to control, though nanobots would give me more options than just some toxin or other. All the same, it remains risky, and I'd prefer to not use such tactics. When it comes to planting seeds of doubt or deceit - surely you know my history with that half-wit Knuckles. Even now I can probably go up to the Master Emerald shrine and tell him that Sonic stole the fool thing and he'd believe me right off the bat. Sadly, these schemes never really work out.

[j-sime]

What kind of music do you like?