I attended a Christian school for about three years, and whenever we read the bible, I couldn't help but feel a bit sorry at how fucked up Satan's whole situation is.
Read Dante Alighieri's Inferno and you'll see just how bad he's got it. Oh Satan, you poor, mistreated Christian incarnation of pure evil.....
If you didn't like the above message, that's because it was written by a hacker/my evil twin/aliens. If you did like it, then, yeah, it was all me.
For every winner, there are dozens of losers. Odds are that you're one of them.