The Banout: LOL BYE CHEEZY

[nek_]

8. REVIEW STAND - PLAZA OF THE DADERS - ALDERAAN

On a huge, austere platform stands the dark Cos Dashit, Lord of Alderaan,
Consul to the Supreme Tribunal, and ruler of the Galactic Empire. He is a
thin, grey-looking man, with an evil mustache which hangs limply over his
insipid lip. Standing at rigid attention on his right are several generals,
dressed in the black and grey uniform of the realm. Five members of the
Supreme Tribunal sit off to the side. On the emperor's left stands Crispin
Hoedaack, newly appointed Governor of the Aquilaean Systems, a young,
treacherous man with stone-cut, angular features and piercing grey eyes.

They all gaze skyward, as the four gleaming stardestroyers scream low overhead
in an impressive barrel-roll formation. As the sound of the spacecraft
resonates throughout the glass canyon of the Plaza, the group of dignitaries
return their attention to the parade of Imperial shock troops, and giant air
tanks (which ride magically two to three feet above the ground).

The Plaza of the Daders is filled with a hundred rows of troops as the last
brigade marches into position. The sound of a thousand men snapping to
attention is followed by a strange silence. A light wind blows the great red
banner of the Empire, creating a subtle flapping sound. The emperor's
amplified voice startles many of the troops as it cuts through the quiet.

EMPEROR
Upon this battle depends the survival of the Galactic Empire. Upon this
battle depends the life and long continuity of our civilization. Not since
the great Jedi Rebellion has our destiny been placed in such a balance. This
is to be the most magnificent campaign of all! You have never been called
without doing something to be remembered, something notable and striking. The
conquering of the Aquilaean System, the last of the independent Systems, and
the last refuge of the outlawed, vile sect of the Jedi, will have such
important and lasting consequences, that I can't but consider it as an epoch
in history.

To the rear of the Plaza, watching the spectacle over the shoulder of a
curious bureaucrat, stands Clieg Whitsun, a tall, blond young man about twenty
years old. He seems interested in what the emperor has to say, but keeps
looking around nervously as if someone were after him. His arm rests across
his head, as he carefully but coolly adjusts a glowing blue ring on his index
finger. The emperor nears the end of his speech.
Crispin Hoedaack has moved up to stand next to the sinister monarch.
The troops shout an Imperial salute in response to a particularly partisan
statement.

EMPEROR (con't)
...I have personally asked the Aquilaeans to accept this Treaty of Alliance.
During the long period of negotiation, they have only decided to be undecided.

We will barter no longer. Governor Hoedaack has been appointed the First Lord
of the Aquilaean System and Surrounding Territories. This is the last
frontier and the final stone in the great wall of the Galactic Empire.

The troops cheer, ad the emperor escorts Hoedaack inside. Whitsun moves
quickly away from the Plaza, passing through several check stations, where he
is forced to show his identification.

[Elmdor]

<- still demanding SOME attention.

LOOK AT ME I HAVE BOOBS!

[nek_]

9. NIGHT CLUB - ALDERAAN

Whitsun walks into the glass and chrome splendor of one of the famous
nightclubs of Alderaan. He moves to the long mirrored bar, and sits next to a
rough-looking man, Bail Antilles, dressed in the distinctive gold and furs of
the Galactic traders.

WHITSUN
Your glass is empty.

Whitsun speaks into a small intercom on the bar front.

WHITSUN (con't)
A dantic and...

He looks in Antilles' glass.

ANTILLES
No thanks, Whitsun. I've had enough.

WHITSUN
Just a dantic then. Bail, it's not like you to refuse a drink. You're going
to give Galactic traders a bad name.

A drink appears magically from a small elevator in the bar. Whitsun takes it,
and then places a pen-like transmitter he has taken from his pocket next to
the intercom. It creates a low electronic buzz.

[nek_]

10. BAR OBSERVATION CENTER - ALDERAAN

A controller sitting in front of a row of monitors taps his headphones, then
flips a switch back and forth a couple of times. He is obviously annoyed.

CONTROLLER
Number eighteen is out again. Give me a maintenance check.

The controller yawns and puts his feet up on the control panel.

[nek_]

St. Elmdor has boobs. Look at him.

[nek_]

11. NIGHTCLUB - ALDERAAN

Whitsun leans in close to Antilles. He is suddenly very serious.

ANTILLES
Whitsun, we've got problems. They've just grounded all spacecraft, including
trade frigates. Even the ships under Imperial registry can't move. Something
big is up.

WHITSUN
I'm afraid they're not waiting for the Alliance Treaty. They're already
moving against the System. I've got to get word back.

ANTILLES
The chrome companies are protesting the embargo, but it's going to take some
time.

WHITSUN
Isn't anything moving?

ANTILLES
Military ships, but...

They are interrupted by an Imperial officer, and several stormtroopers. The
officer shouts over the P.A. system, as the troops rush to block the exits.
Whitsun and the Galactic trader are tense, but remain cool.

OFFICER
Attention: all Captains and First Officers of Guild Trade frigates will
accompany me to the Ministry of Transport immediately.

Antilles gives Whitsun a hopeless look as the troops check their papers, and
then take Antilles away. A small fight breaks out in the back of the
nightclub as one of the trader captains expresses his dislike of the Empire.
Whitsun slams his glass to the bar in a gesture of hate and frustration.

[nek_]

12. GOVERNOR HOEDAACK'S QUARTERS - ALDERAAN

The large, white-on-white executive quarters resound with the high-pitched
laugh of the evil Governor Hoedaack. He slaps Darth Vader, a tall, grim-
looking general, on the back, and the general's mouth makes the slightest
gesture at a smile.

HOEDAACK
Success, I told you. We are no longer under the control of the Great
Families....We've gained a true advantage.

Vantos Coll, a member of the Supreme Tribunal, and a man of the grossest
dimensions, appears to be a little worried.

COLL
A rather dangerous advantage. You still have a System to conquer.

HOEDAACK
But this System will bring us more scientific wealth than that of any other
House in the Tribunal. We will easily gain control of the directorship.

COLL
Don't underestimate the armies of Aquilae. They're lead by a Jedi.

HOEDAACK
I've told you about Commissioner Lars, General. He worries a lot.

VADER
It's a myth that any Jedi still exist.

COLL
General Skywalker is no myth. When I first arrived at court, he was the First
Bodyguard to the emperor...He lead the Jedi Rebellion.

VADER
Seig Darklighter lead the Rebellion.

COLL
So the emperor would have you think, but I was there.

VADER
Then why wasn't he hunted down like the others?

COLL
Because he is too dangerous, too clever. Besides, his presence on Aquilae is
still only a rumor.

HOEDAACK
Then why do you believe it?

COLL
Because I knew him. He's there, alright. I can sense it. Mark my words:
Aquilae will not be easily conquered.

[nek_]

13. COURTYARD - PALACE OF LITE - AQUILAE

A low, sleek "landspeeder," (an auto-like transport which travels a few feet
above the ground on a magnetic field), glides into the courtyard of the palace
of Aquilae. The planet is desert wilderness, but the palace is a sparkling
oasis, with low concrete walls and great turrets spilling over with foliage
from rooftop gardens. The speeder stops before an enormous shaded corridor.
Fountains line the beautiful and highly polished, tiled walkway. Two young
boys, Biggs (7) and Windom (5) are helped out of the speeder by Amber, a one-
armed bodyguard dressed in the flowing white robes of the Aquilaean military.
The two boys run through the long corridors, yelling and screaming, their
little footsteps echoing throughout the palace.

[nek_]

14. The palace library is a dim, cool room projecting an aura of time-worn
comfort and security. In the distance, the children can be heard screaming
through the corridors. King Kayos, silver-haired but amazingly youthful under
a tanned and leathery face, motions for one of his aides to shut the partially
closed door. He is in the middle of an emergency meeting of the Aquilaean
High Senate. The twelve men sit in overstuffed chairs, placed in a large
circle. A large, sallow-eyed Galactic trader named Aay Zavos fiddles
nervously with a small scrap of leather as he speaks.

ZAVOS
My Lord, the chrome companies are with you in spirit, but you must understand,
they can't openly support you. Imperial trade restrictions are very
unfavorable, and we, of course, favor your independence.

KAYOS
If there were to be war, would your frigates still supply us?

ZAVOS
Your bluntness is to be commended. It could be arranged.

Count Sandage, a corrupt noble of the Senate, jumps to his feet in a rage.

SANDAGE
This is nonsense! We have no choice but to approve the Treaty. If there is
war, the Empire will destroy our entire System with a snap of the finger.
General Skywalker is a dreamer if he thinks he can mount any meaningful
resistance....And you're dreamers if you believe him. So much trust in one
aged man. You must see...

At that moment, all heads turn as someone enters the room. It is General Luke
Skywalker, Commander of the Aquilaean Starforce. He is a large man,
apparently in his early sixties, but actually much older. Everyone senses the
aura of power that radiates from this great warrior. Here is a leader: a
Jedi general. He looks weary, but is still a magnificent-looking warrior.
His face, cracked and weathered by exotic climates, is set off by a close
silver beard, and dark, penetrating eyes. Sandage is somewhat embarrassed and
quietly sits down.

GENERAL
Is there anyone here so naive he believes the Empire would even bother
negotiating if they were contemplating destruction of this System? Your
Excellencies, this is more than a simple raid on your resources. You must
reach a decision.

Mir Nash, a thin, birdlike senator, turns to the general.

NASH
General Skywalker, war is a serious business...a deadly business.

GENERAL
Procrastination is a deadly business, Senator. War is my business. Have you
approved my defense measures?

The Grande Mouff Tarkin wears the long, black robes of the Aquilaean religion.

He speaks with a high, cracking voice.

TARKIN
An actual war with the Empire is still only a remote possibility. As a
military treatise, your proposal has certain merits, but in the harsh light of
reality, an attack against the Empire appears to be a somewhat extreme
defense.

NASH
You must understand, General, we are interested in avoiding a war, not
starting one.

GENERAL
There are times when offense makes the best defense. If that Alliance Treaty
isn't signed, we will need all of the advantage we can get.

KAYOS
Count Sandage, I want you to head the delegation to Alderaan. You will leave
tomorrow with our answer regarding the Treaty. My decision will be
forthcoming.

The senators whisper among themselves.

KAYOS (con't)
All right, then. May the force of others be with you all.

The senators leave in a flurry of hushed conversation. The general is lost in
thought, and remains in his chair. Biggs and Windom (Windy), the king's two
young sons, storm through the existing senators and rush on to Kayos' lap.
The king is obviously very proud of the two young princes. He throws Biggs
into the air, and then catches him again.

WINDY
Me too! Me too!

BIGGS
Leia's leaving! Leia's leaving and you gotta say good-bye.

The king picks up Windy and swings him around, then puts him down.

KAYOS
Okay, whippersnapper, go tell your mother and your sister that I'm on my way.

The two boys run out of the room and are heard yelling and screaming down the
hallway. The king starts out, but stops in front of the general.

KAYOS
Luke, my daughter is leaving for the academy at Chathos. Won't you come and
wish her well? It would mean a lot to her. She truly idolizes you, you know.

Come on, the war will wait.

GENERAL
Of course. I'm sorry, My Lord. Politics always seem to distress me.

The general rises, and as they head for the door, Kayos pats him on the back.

KAYOS
I know, Luke. I feel the Force also.

[nek_]

15. COURTYARD - PALACE OF LITE - AQUILAE

A large, four-seat speeder sits gleaming in the sun-soaked courtyard. The
Princess Leia, about fourteen years old, possessing a soft beauty and iron
will, is embracing her mother, Queen Breha, a warm, silver-haired matron.
There are tears in the princess' blue eyes. Biggs and Windy jump around
inside the speeder, disrupting the efforts of the one-armed Amber to pack
several plaxiform cases.

Leia embraces the king as he approaches with the general.

LEIA
Oh, Daddy, I'll miss you so.

KAYOS
The semester will be over before you know it. You'll have a grand time.
There are so many new things to learn. I wish I were going.

He gives her a fatherly smile, and she hugs him again. The general stands
rather formally to one side. The princess, her long auburn hair tied in
braids, moves to the general and he bows before her.

GENERAL
May your studies do you honor.

Leia is somewhat embarrassed by the general's formality and can only manage an
awkward smile before returning to her parents at the speeder.

BREHA
Hurry Leia. You must make it to Yuell before nightfall.

The princess' maids-in-waiting, Alana, a short, stocky girl, and Mina, more
comely (somewhat the same stature as Leia) with long dark hair, giggle and
straighten Leia's dress before she enters the speeder. The princess and Mina
hug Alana, whose giggles have turned to tears. The two boys scramble out of
the speeder as Amber helps the princess and her maid into the back seat. The
speeder is piloted by a trooper of the First Order. Amber jumps into the seat
beside him, and the speeder starts with a low buzzing sound. The princess
waves to her family, and Mina waves to Alana as the speeder slowly glides out
of the courtyard.

[nek_]

16. WAR ROOM - UNDERGROUND FORTRESS - AQUILAE

The war room is a mass of glass enclosures, electronic wall displays,
monitors, and computer stations. General Skywalker enters a control station,
followed by a covey of military aides of various ranks. As the group hurry
through the crowded room, men rise and salute the new arrivals. The general
stops before a giant display of the galaxy. Small symbols flash on and off
over various portions of the big board. The general studies it intently.

GENERAL
Montross!

Captain Montross, one of the general's aides, snaps to attention.

MONTROSS
Sir!

GENERAL
What's the TQ on this?

MONTROSS
The last frigate to leave the Imperial capital was at twenty-three forty, Sir.

GENERAL
Have any ships at all left the planet? (to another aide) Check with the
Guild on Horton three.

MONTROSS
At twenty four hundred, a full battalion of stardestroyers left for what is
projected to be Anchorhead, or a nearby System.

GENERAL
And no word from Whitsun. He should have reported by now. Captain Prue!

An older, academic looking aide, steps forward.

PRUE
Sir!

GENERAL
What do you make of this?

PRUE
A battalion is invasion force...but the Empire controls that entire part of
the galaxy....A revolution, maybe. At any rate, they're going in the wrong
direction to be any trouble for us.

The general ponders this for a few moments, then speaks almost to himself.

GENERAL
I don't know... It doesn't feel good.

MONTROSS
Sir?

GENERAL
Put 'em on alert.

A loud uproar is heard on the far side of the war room. Everyone turns to see
a foreign dressed warrior pushing his way past several guards and war-room
bureaucrats. The warrior, with his long hair tied in an odd bun on the top of
his head, is Kane Starkiller. He is followed by his son, Annikin, who rudely
pushes the pesky bureaucrats out of the way.

BUREAUCRATS
It's restricted. You'll have to wait...(etc.)

KANE
Get out of my way, boy, before I grind you into the surface...(etc.)

As the dauntless Starkiller approaches the general, the guards stop in
bewilderment as General Skywalker rushes up to the warrior and embraces him.
The two Jedi warriors laugh jubilantly and slap one another, as the aides and
bureaucrats look on in amazement.

GENERAL
Kane Starkiller - you old muscle-rat! What a sight! We heard that you had
been executed.

KANE
So the Empire would like to believe. I've been in the Kessil System. You
remember little Annikin.

Kane puts his arms around his son, who has been making eyes at one of the cute
young female aides. He bows before the General.

GENERAL
He takes after his mother! (They laugh) It's so good to see you.

KANE
It's wonderful to be with another Jedi again. There are so few of us left.

The cute aide goes back to her duties, flirting with Annikin as she passes.
The young warrior pinches her on the ass, which startles her, but she goes on
like nothing happened.

GENERAL
What a sight!

The two Jedi stand looking at one another, hardly believing the other is real.

Finally, the general realizes his aides are standing around, gawking at the
duo.

GENERAL (to the aids)
Wake up, gentlemen. You're on alert. Keep me posted on that battalion.

[nek_]

17. CONTROL STATION - UNDERGROUND FORTRESS - AQUILAE

The general, Starkiller, and his son enter a small glass enclosed control
office. They sit, and an awkward silence passes as each man waits for the
other to speak.

KANE
I've come for your help.

GENERAL
Anything you ask. You're a Jedi brother. We're one.

KANE
My friend, we've been through much together...I've been through much since we
parted. I've lost much... The Empire has chased us half way across the
galaxy... There is no refuge. One day they will come here... Take my son as
your Padawan Learner. He would be a Jedi. I've trained him from birth. He's
reached the fifth stage. He fought in the Kessilian civil wars and commanded
a Hubble expedition to the Cone Systems. He's a good boy, Luke, and one hell
of a fighter.

The general looks down, somewhat embarrassed. He scratches his head, then
smiles.

GENERAL
Old friend, you do me too much honor. I was never a match for you. Why don't
you finish his training yourself?

KANE
I'm too old, Luke. I can't go on... You must finish it.

GENERAL
What kind of talk is this? You're not the old Starkiller I remember. Too
old?!?

Starkiller suddenly ignites in a rage and swings his left forearm down with a
mighty blow across the solid chrome desk the general is sitting on. The old
Jedi warrior's forearm cracks in two, spewing forth wires, and many fine
multicolored electronic components. The artificial limb flops lifelessly to
Starkiller's side. The warrior rips open his tunic, revealing a plastic chest
stuffed with flashing electric parts.

KANE (angrily)
I'm not the same. There is nothing left but my head and right arm... I've
lost too much, Luke...I'm dying.

The general bows his head in sorrow for one of the greatest warriors in the
galaxy and a dear friend.

GENERAL
I'm sorry...

KANE
I'm sorry. I keep losing control. I'm very tired...Take my son! The Jedi-
Bendu must survive. We must pass it on. Only a Jedi can stop the Empire.
We're very old, Luke. A new generation of Jedi must be started. Take him;
teach him the way of the Jedi-Bendu...

Captain Montross bursts into the office and somewhat excitedly salutes the
general.

MONTROSS
Sir, we have picked up something! An asteroid, or solid comet moving away
from the Anchorhead System.

[nek_]

18. WAR ROOM - UNDERGROUND FORTRESS - AQUILAE

The general rushes out of the control station and back to the giant Galactic
display. He is followed by Montross, Starkiller and his son.

GENERAL
Are you sure it's not the battalion?

MONTROSS
A solid object. It's as big as our Third Moon.

PRUE
It's too large to be man-made, and it's too slow to be a comet.

GENERAL
Analysis?

MONTROSS
It's too far out.

GENERAL
I'll be with the king. Report as soon as you can get a reading on it.
(turning to Kane's son) Captain Starkiller, from now on you stick close to
me.

The older Starkiller smiles, and puts his good arm around his old friend.

[nek_]

19. DINING CHAMBER - PALACE OF LITE - AQUILAE

King Kayos moves his arm around Breha's waist as they stand on a balcony
watching the giant twin suns of Aquilae disappear behind a distant dune range.

The general enters, rather in a rush, followed by the young Starkiller, who is
now dressed in the white uniform of the Aquilaean starforce. (He still wears
the distinctive Kessilian hair knot.) They bow before the king.

KAYOS (pointing to the suns)
Aren't they beautiful, General? "Always and never the same." You're just in
time for dinner.

GENERAL
I have come for other reasons. Could....

KAYOS
Relax, General. We will discuss it, but over dinner. There are times, Luke,
when I find you a bit too rigid. Is this your new disciple?

Starkiller is ill at ease and bows again.

STARKILLER
Annikin Starkiller, Sir.

KAYOS
Where's Kane?

GENERAL
He left for the spaceport at Gordon to visit an old friend, Han Solo, the
Ureallian.

KAYOS
We are becoming quite a refuge.

The group sits at a large table, and food is brought in by servants. They
eat. Starkiller is nervous and watches the general, to make sure he is being
proper.

GENERAL
My Lord, several events have occurred which lead me to believe we are in
imminent danger of attack. There is no longer time for discussion and
debate...

KAYOS
What events?

GENERAL
Whitsun, our best agent, has disappeared in the Imperial capital. There is
unusual military traffic in the S-4 sectors...

KAYOS
Unless you have direct, concrete proof of a pending attack, there is nothing I
can do.

GENERAL
By the time we have proof, it may be too late.

KAYOS
Luke, I'm leaving tonight for Amsel. I'm meeting with the full assembly first
thing in the morning. I am not going to approve the Alliance Treaty, and I
will get your defense measure approved. Just be patient. You will have the
war code.

GENERAL
Tomorrow may be too late. My Lord, I need the war code now. We must get our
forces into space.

KAYOS
But it must be done legally, with everyone's approval. Tomorrow you will have
that. I doubt the Empire would attack before receiving our answer. The
separation of war powers is the one condition upon which you assumed command
of our forces. You're a friend, Luke, and I trust you. But you're also an
outlander who controls a great deal of power. I can't forsake my oath any
more than you can. Just be patient. You will have the code tomorrow.

Captain Montross enters the large chamber and bows before the king.

MONTROSS
I bring a report to General Skywalker, My Lord.

KAYOS
You may deliver it.

MONTROSS
Sir, the asteroid has disappeared from our scopes. There is no trace of it.

GENERAL
Were they able to analyze it?

MONTROSS
It never came within range, Sir.

The general rises, quickly followed by Starkiller.

GENERAL
Excuse us, My Lord. We'd better get back. I will wait patiently for the
approval.

The general and Montross exit the chamber. Starkiller takes one last bite of
his dinner, then dashes after his mentor.

[nek_]

20. WAR ROOM - UNDERGROUND FORTRESS - AQUILAE

The general sits rigidly, facing the big Galactic display board. Several
aides and bureaucrats rush to and fro, ignoring the general. he is asleep.
Captain Prue approaches the general and snaps to attention. The general's
eyes open.

GENERAL
What are the results?

PRUE
Negative, Sir.

GENERAL
Are you sure?

PRUE
Absolutely.

GENERAL
It's just not possible. Something that size can't just disappear without a
trace...Check it again.

PRUE
That's the tenth negative, Sir.

GENERAL
I said check it again.

Captain Prue retreats to a computer station. The general looks around for
Starkiller.

GENERAL
Starkiller!

Everyone near the general turns, but Starkiller doesn't show.

GENERAL
Where is that boy? Montross!

Montross rushes to the general and snaps to attention.

GENERAL
Page Starkiller.

Montross goes back to his station and a few moments later, Starkiller is paged
over the P.A. system. The general waits, watching the big board. Eventually,
Starkiller stumbles out of an enclosed computer closet, fastening his pants
and tucking in his tunic. A moment later, the cute female aide rather
sheepishly exits the computer closet. She is also in the process of putting
her uniform back together. Starkiller rushes up to the general and snaps to
attention.

The general lets him stand there for a moment, not acknowledging his presence;
then, suddenly, without warning and in one masterful flash motion, the general
stands, grabs a small baton attached to his belt (which immediately ignites
into a four-foot glowing lasersword,) and swings at the young warrior's head.
In an equally quick movement, Starkiller ignites his lasersword and blocks the
general's blow. Everyone in the war room is surprised and startled. After a
moment, they rush to the general. Starkiller and the general stand motionless
for a few moments, with laserswords locked in mid-air, creating a low buzzing
sound. Finally, the general grins, and Starkiller hesitantly relaxes. They
lower their swords and turn them off.

GENERAL
You are trained well, but remember, a Jedi must be single-minded, a discipline
your father obviously never learned, hence your existence. Clean yourself up.

Discipline is essential. Your mind must follow the way of the Bendu.

STARKILLER
It won't happen again, Sir. There are many new....

P.A.
General Skywalker, white com.

The general moves to a control station and picks up a phone.

PHONE VOICE
Sir, Captain Whitsun has just been admitted to Med Vac.

GENERAL
What's his condition?

PHONE VOICE
No data, Sir.

GENERAL
I'm on my way.