HUMOUR! COMEDY! ABSURDITY! HILARITY

[King Zora II]

SOMETIMES THIS BOARD GETS AN EXCESS OF POSTS WHICH ARE BORING AND TO AN EXTENT DIPRESSING (SOME OF WHICH IS DOWN TO ME I ADMIT) SO THERFORE I HAD THE IDEA OF CREATING A TOPIC ON WHICH ANYONE CAN COME INCLUDING PEOPLE OF ALL SEXES AND AGE GROUPS AND SHOW SOME HUMOUR BY TELLING JOKES, FUNNY STORIES AND EVEN LISTING LINKS TO REALLY GOOD JOKE SITES

OK THAN WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR LET IT RIP GUYS OR POSSIBLY GIRLS <IMG SRC="smilies/smokin.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/nod.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/sgrin.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/yelpirate.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/yelevil.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/yeldizzy.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/smokin.gif" border="0">

[ November 27, 2001: Message edited by: King Zora The Sequel ]

[Cyberxion]

Thats a good idea King Zora. Not bad at all. Though how boring posts can get is all in the eye of the beholder. I'll look for something to post here soon.

[King Zora II]

I DONT KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS BUT I FOUND THIS VERY FUNNY!


Miss Greene,A kindergarden teacher,Brings up
religion to her class. "Children", she says,
"What part of a person do you think goes to
heaven first when you die?"

Suzy raises her hand and says "I think your soul,
because you need a pure soul to get to heaven".

"Very good," says Miss Greene. "Billy what do you
think?"

"Your heart", says Billy, "because you need a
good heart to get to heaven".

"Very good indeed" says Miss Greene, "And you
Johnny, What do you think?"

"Your feet" says johnny.

"Why your feet?" asks Miss Greene

"Because I walked in on my mother and the mailman
and her feet were up in the air and she was
screaming "Oh GOD I'm coming."

<IMG SRC="smilies/sgrin.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/yelbiggrin.gif" border="0">

[gibb]

Hey King Zora !! You didnt tell us you had your own personal website !!

King Zora's Love Pad

Good Job Buddy

[Vengeance1013]

ARKANSAS STATE RESIDENCY APPLICATION

Name: ________________
(_) Billy-Bob (last)
(_) Billy-Joe
(_) Billy-Ray
(_) Billy-Sue
(_) Billy-Mae
(_) Billy-Jack
(_) Billy-Jefferson (Check appropriate box)

Age: ____

Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A

Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right

Occupation: (check the one that applies)
(_)Farmer
(_)Mechanic
(_)Hair Dresser
(_)Un-employed

Spouse's Name: __________________________
Relationship with spouse <IMG SRC="smilies/yelsad.gif" border="0">check the one that applies)
(_) Sister
(_) Brother
(_) Aunt
(_) Uncle
(_) Cousin
(_) Mother
(_) Father
(_) Son
(_) Daughter
(_) Pet

Number of children living in household: ___

Number that are yours: ___

Mother's Name: _______________________

Father's Name: _______________________
(If not sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)

Total number of vehicles you own ___
Number of vehicles that still crank ___ Number of vehicles in front yard ___
Number of vehicles in back yard ___
Number of vehicles on cement blocks ___

Firearms you own and where you keep them:
truck ____
bedroom ____
bathroom ____
kitchen ____
shed

Model and year of your pickup: Model:___________ Year:194_

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
(_)The National Enquirer
(_)The Globe
(_)TV Guide
(_)Soap Opera Digest

Number of times you've seen a UFO ___
Number of times you've seen Elvis ___
Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO

How often do you bathe:
(_)Weekly
(_)Monthly

Not Applicable Color of teeth:
(_)Yellow
(_)Brownish-Yellow
(_)Brown
(_)Black
(_)N/A

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
(_)Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road?
(_)1 mile
(_)2 miles
(_)don't know

[King Zora II]

gibb that was disturbing..........LOL
OR SHOULD I CALL YOU MICHAEL FROM NOW ON LOL <IMG SRC="smilies/sgrin.gif" border="0">

[King Zora II]

LETS FORGET EVERY DAY LIFE BECAUSE HERE'S ANOTHER JOKE TO WET YOUR APPETITE however one could easily find it sexiest (so bear in mind the fact that it is a joke)

What three things can women do that men can't?

a)give milk without eating grass!
b)bleed without dying as a result
C)bury a bone without digging
<IMG SRC="smilies/sgrin.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/sgrin.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/nod.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/yelbiggrin.gif" border="0">

[Dread Knight]

Some fun ok!
What do you call a taliban that has both a camel and a goat?


Bisexual

Never trust anything that can bleed for five days each month without dying!
<IMG SRC="smilies/bounce.gif" border="0">

[King Zora II]

ha ha ha
good one <IMG SRC="smilies/yelwink.gif" border="0">

[gibb]

LMAO vengeance yours was the best! <IMG SRC="smilies/yelpleased.gif" border="0">

[Parha_ha]

Funny stuff. <IMG SRC="smilies/yelbiggrin.gif" border="0">

[mr.coolman]

Joke: Why did the punk cross the road?

He was stapled to the chicken

Did ya hear the one about the blunt pencil?

I can't tell you...There's no point!!

TEACHER: If I have 50 oranges in one hand and 57 in the other, what would I have?

UNDERACHIEVER: Big hands...


URGENT NEWS REPORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The local pet shop was robbed last night. Police don't know what to do because there are no leads!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you like Mr.Yoshi's jokes?

<IMG SRC="smilies/yelbiggrin.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/yelbiggrin.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/yelbiggrin.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/bounce.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/bounce.gif" border="0">

[King Zora II]

yeah that ok yoshi! A few blonde jokes for you:
<IMG SRC="smilies/smokin.gif" border="0">

1)Why does the blonde throw breadcrumbs in the
toilet every morning?

To feed the toilet duck!
----------------------
2)What do women and sunglasses have in common?

They are both useless until you open their legs.
-----------------------------------------
3)How do you know if a Blonde has been using your
computer ?

The joystick is still wet.

------------------------------
4)There are three blondes stranded on an island.
Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each
one of them one wish.

The first blonde asks to be intelligent.
Instantly, she is turned into a brown haired
woman and she swims off the island.

The next one asks to be even more intelligent
than the previous one, so instantly she is turned
into a black haired woman.The black haired woman
builds a boat and sails off the island.

The third blonde asks to become even more
intelligent than the previous two. The fairy
turns her into a man, and he walks across the
bridge.


<IMG SRC="smilies/sgrin.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/sgrin.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/sgrin.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/sgrin.gif" border="0">

[King Zora II]

for any soccer fans england have been put into the GROUP OF DEATH! <IMG SRC="smilies/yeldead.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/ugh.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/ugh.gif" border="0">
their group is

ARGENTINA
ENGLAND
NIGERIA
SWEDEN
and if they qualify they are likely to play FRANCE <IMG SRC="smilies/ugh.gif" border="0"> <IMG SRC="smilies/ugh.gif" border="0">

[King Zora II]

another joke 4 u
A guy comes up to a woman at the office and he
tells her that her hair smells nice. The woman
immediately goes to her supervisor to file a
sexual harassment suit. The supervisor says,
"What’s wrong with someone telling you that your
hair smells nice"? The woman replies,
"he’s a midget".

<IMG SRC="smilies/sgrin.gif" border="0">