Lurd help me, I got the God of War collection.![]()
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A lot of shit man.
I want a social life, however anytime I see someone I know from the past somewhere(spent 3 years without leaving the house) I completely avoid them and I get paranoid they might recognize me and say something to me. I'm extremely over concerned with my money control, I get panicky when I think about what I have to pay despite having the money. When I am talking to someone I'm very soft speaking and probably sound rude in one way or the other and it's very hard to hold a conversation with me.
I lack any shred of self confidence which is probably due to my rather high weight(230lbs). I probably come off as extremely weird. I go meet up with the lab guys daily for break at work yet I say nearly nothing most of the time, and leave break the same time they do.
There's a lot to be fixed when it comes to me.
Honestly this is a lot like myself. I don't talk to anyone from my highschool at all anymore (two years ago now I graduated). I often look to avoid people that somewhat know me if I notice them in public before they notice me, or if they notice me and try to talk make the conversation pass really fast by claiming I have to be somewhere. I rarely talk when I'm with a group of people. During my freshman year of college my roommate and I (random) got along pretty meh, it wasn't like strained or anything but we weren't friends. Anyways his friends would be in the room quite often so I got to know a few of them decently (since I was always in the room) and they often played my Gamecube (Super Smash Bros) and they were tossing insults at each other and such, and I threw one in, and just dead silence, and one of them commented that my insult was borderline mean, and I came back with "This is why I usually don't say a word."
I don't really have much self confidence, I'm not overweight though, I've floated at 140lbs for the past few years now despite my lack of real exercise (besides walking to class), probably due to the fact that I eat pretty healthy food. But I think I do come off as weird, and I always feel when I am out in public like everyone's eyes are on me, makes me really uncomfortable.
You aren't alone man.
Did you actually not leave the house period for three years? Pretty intense if so.
Also I'm the oppo of you guys. I will talk peoples faces right off, pretty much any time if someone initiates conversation. Sometimes it gets me in trouble when I'm on some kind of deadline/have somewhere to be etc... Like I can stop off to buy a video game from a local store I like, and blow like 90 minutes just talking, so I try to plan and schedule accordingly. Lol.