Got a joke you wanna share?, welp you've come to the right place you can post any joke you want here No Racism jokes please I don't feel like getting shot or shived (just kidding)
Got a joke you wanna share?, welp you've come to the right place you can post any joke you want here No Racism jokes please I don't feel like getting shot or shived (just kidding)
Why did I put sugar on my bed?
A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Mee Lookee Yu, to watch and report any activities that might develop. A few days later, he received this report:
Most honorable sir:
You leave house.
He come house.
I watch.
He and she leave house.
I follow.
He and she get on train.
I follow.
He and she go in hotel.
I climb tree-look in window.
He kiss she.
She kiss he.
He strip she
She strip he.
He play with she.
She play with he.
I play with me.
Fall out of tree, not see.
NO FEE
The moral of the story, don't hire asian cuz they're all pervert.
1.A beggar knocked on the door of a house.
"What do you want?" said the owner.
"Can you spare some money to help a poor person?" said the beggar.
But as soon he was given a few coins and told to go on his way, the beggar complained, "Your son gave me twice as much when I called here last week."
"Well, my son can afford to," said the owner, "he has a very rich father."
2.An old guy (not in the best of shape) was attempting to work out at the gym when he spotted a sweet young thing....
He asked the trainer who was nearby, "What machine in here should I use to impress that sweet thing over there?"
The trainer looked him up and down and said, "I would try the ATM in the lobby."
3.A Christian and an atheist were neighbors.
The Christian one day yells, "Lord please sends me food".
The atheist heard this and replies, "There is no GOD!"
The next day the Christian wakes up and goes to her porch to find that there were bags of groceries.
She yells, "Thank You LORD for this food!"
As soon as soon as the Christian said that the atheist jumps out from the brush and replies, "Yyour GOD didn't give you that food…I did!"
Without wasting a second the Christian yells to the LORD, "Thank you for sending me this food and making the Satan pay for it."
4.After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date.
Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.
When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."
"Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
Last edited by Mohit; 21st-April-2012 at 17:10.
The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage.
He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on."
The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers."
He replies, "And don't forget that! I will always wear the pants in the family!"
The bride takes off her knickers and throws them at him with the same request, "Try those on!"
He replies,"I can't get into your knickers!"
"And you never bloody will if you don't change your attitude."
At a meeting between the Minister of Technology World in Langkawi. Minister of Japan, the United States (U.S.) and Malaysia are debating.
Minister of Japan: If you visit Japan, you dig our land, has just reached 7 meters, you will find ... many chips, steel frames, circuit boards and other electronics. This shows that since the time of our ancestors, we have known of the Japanese robot technology.
Minister to U.S.: If you visit America, you dig our land, just up to 3 meters, you will find traces of radioactivity. This is an indication that since ancient times, we have learned the American nuclear technology.
Minister of Malaysia: Since you gentlemen are in Malaysia, I invite you gentlemen to dig here, let know what's in our basement. (So he called 2 tradesman to grout immediately. After a depth of 70 meters, the two builders went up again)
Minister of Malaysia: What do you see?
Tailor exploration: There is nothing.
Minister of Malaysia: There are no PHONE CABLE down there?
Tailor exploration: Nop Sir..
Minister of Malaysia (as he staring against the ministers of Japan and America) That's a sign that we the people of Malaysia, since the days of old, have learned the technology WIRELESS! ..
I don't find the english translation of the actual joke but I use google translator and a bit of editing. Hope everyone understand.
ooh lol time to crank out the really bad jokes I've made.
Why did Rihanna sue Pizza Hut?
Q:Know why a cannibal won't eat a clown?
A:They have a funny taste.
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what does ok actually means?