Hi guys and dolls! Those of you who have been hanging out on Emuparadise for a long, long, long-ass time might remember that I used to have an advice thread where I'd give you utterly retarded advice for whatever stupid problems you might have had as if I gave half a squirt of piss about you. If you don't remember those threads, you're either suffering from Alzheimer's or you're a relative n00b. I don't really care either way, because I have a wild hair up my ass and the urge to answer whatever stupid questions you have for me in the most ridiculous, condescending manner possible. So pose your questions here, and maybe, just maybe, I'll awake from my drunken stupor and pretend like I give a shit. If you're lucky. Have at it!