The Hairy Balls-Out: No Seriously, Get Them Shaved

[Inferno.]

I cant do tight pants, I'm crotch conscious, I think people are always looking at my junk if my jeans are even slightly tight.

I hate having baggy pants, like really baggy. I used to be paranoid about having jeans that were too baggy. So lame.

Never once cared about people looking at my junk however, when I used to wear super tight jeans.

[Quiji]

I cant do tight pants, I'm crotch conscious, I think people are always looking at my junk if my jeans are even slightly tight.

Wait, you're complaining that your junk is huge?

What has this world come to...

[Mistral]

I cant do tight pants, I'm crotch conscious, I think people are always looking at my junk if my jeans are even slightly tight.

Put a giant, bright yellow smilie-face sticker over it to cover it. Problem solved.

[deadlegion]

I cant do tight pants, I'm crotch conscious, I think people are always looking at my junk if my jeans are even slightly tight.

I always thought that was the general idea.

[Slacker Magician]

I wear plaid shirts, but I don't wear skin tight pants. Nor do I act like a faggot.

No wonder the teensters at the mall don't wanna go out with me.

And by go out, I mean suck my cock.

While listening to horrible, horrible music.

I would still be okay with this.

Plaid + jeans = old man apparel.

[Pickles]

Put a giant, bright yellow smilie-face sticker over it to cover it. Problem solved.

Turns out I cant rep you twice in 10 minutes.

Wait, you're complaining that your junk is huge?

What has this world come to...

STOP LOOKING AT MY MASSIVE JUNK.

I hate having baggy pants, like really baggy. I used to be paranoid about having jeans that were too baggy. So lame.

Never once cared about people looking at my junk however, when I used to wear super tight jeans.

All my jeans are too tight right now because I've put on weight to fight the case of the skinnies. But I wear over sized hoodies and stuff.

[Mistral]

Plaid + jeans = old man apparel.

Or lumberjack. A veritable buffet of manliness, a feast for the eyes and living tribute to the indomitable spirit of acute testosterone poisoning the free and independent man.
...
You know, I always wanted to be a lumberjack...

[Drageuth]

Plaid + jeans = old man apparel.

I think I look damn sexy.

[Drageuth]

Or lumberjack. A veritable buffet of manliness, a feast for the eyes and living tribute to the indomitable spirit of [s]acute testosterone poisoning[/s] the free and independent man.
...
You know, I always wanted to be a lumberjack...

Obligatory Youtube video.

[Rasgrez]

Relaxed fit, yo. Can't do anything too loose or anything remotely tight, too restrictive.

[Quiji]

I wear plaid shirts, but I don't wear skin tight pants. Nor do I act like a faggot.

No wonder the teensters at the mall don't wanna go out with me.

And by go out, I mean suck my cock.

While listening to horrible, horrible music.

I would still be okay with this.

Welp, finish the criteria for being a hipster, and then you'll still won't get your dick sucked.

Because all hipsters are asexual.

I mean, just look at their crotch, there's nothing there beneath those skin tight pants.

>inb4lolololyoulookathipstercrotches

In which I would respond:

you saying i like dudes.jpg

[Slacker Magician]

What kind of lumberjack doesn't have a full beard?

[Drageuth]

Welp, finish the criteria for being a hipster, and then you'll still won't get your dick sucked.

Because all hipsters are asexual.

I mean, just look at their crotch, there's nothing there beneath those skin tight pants.

>inb4lolololyoulookathipstercrotches

In which I would respond:

you saying i like dudes.jpg

Hipsters are lame.

I JUST WANT A GOOD COCKSUCKING


Dammit, where's Jazz when you need him...?

[Drageuth]

What kind of lumberjack doesn't have a full beard?

The English kind?

[Pickles]

Which one of you bastards is Ian?