And my friend's.
Friend: Edwin, my computer is running really slowly, and there's all these popups. Also, it keeps crashing.
Edwin: That sounds like you've picked up a bunch of spyware or a nasty virus.
Friend: (confidently) Oh no, I've been careful not to get anything like that. Anyway...can you maybe come over and see if you can figure out what's wrong?
*Edwin goes to friend's house and scans computer for spyware. Something in the vicinity of 5000 results appear*
Friend: ...oh.
It turned out he had 24/7 internet with no sort of firewall, hardware or software. And he had installed Kazaa and downloaded some real nasties.

I really tried not to laugh.
