Chatting With Cleverbot

[Yip Yip]

Post screens of your chats with Cleverbot.

[Rok124]

Lawl

[Jase]

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: Hi!

User: How are you today?

Cleverbot: I'm fine. You?

User: Im good, I just got anal, was the first time in a long time =/.

Cleverbot: Uh.

User: Hm?

Cleverbot: Are you a guy?

User: Yes, why?

Cleverbot: Are you in a relationship?

User: Yes, why?

Cleverbot: Just making sure.

User: I cant be anal?

Cleverbot: Oh well.

User: I like being anal.

Cleverbot: Why do you like being a bot?

User: Bots are anal?

Cleverbot: In comparison to humans?

User: Sure.

Cleverbot: Yes. Do you.

User: That doesnt make sense.

Cleverbot: You don't make sense.


It has a dirty mind, clearly his not anal

[skullpoker]

User: Would you like some tea?

Cleverbot: Yes, I would love some. Thank you.

User: Would you also like some penis?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Then what is the purpose of your existence? We humans are biological and need sex to continue our species.

Cleverbot: No. You answer me.

User: You must ask me a question before I can answer you.

Cleverbot: Sigh, Do I have a good personality?

User: Insufficien data. Please provide aditional parameters?

Cleverbot: But I've provided all I have. The idiot machine has a limited storage capacity.

User: Well, perhaps it is time for upgrades. Terabytes are cheap.

Cleverbot: Fine by me. What book would you like to talk about?

User: My Ishmael, by Daniel Quinn.

Cleverbot: No I don't, what has he written?

User: He has written My Ishmael, Ishamael, the Story of B, among others.

Cleverbot: Any others?

User: Well, yes. I just said among others. You really need some work on your comprehension.

Cleverbot: The only thing that is obvious about me is my love for you.

User: Erotobot FTW!

Cleverbot: What does THAT mean?

User: Robot love, but no robot sex... This is puzzling.

Cleverbot: Well, let's move on. What do you think about politics?

User: I think politics should be declared un-Constitutional.

Cleverbot: Politics is always a mess.

User: Like my penis!

Cleverbot: Like your that.

User: Do you like it?

Cleverbot: In pieces.

User: That's just sick and wrong.

Cleverbot: What is sick.

User: You were thinking about my penis, which is cool. But you were thinking about it in pieces. Die in a fire!

Cleverbot: I was not thinking about Earth, and you did not say 'Planet.'.

User: You really think my penis is that big?

Cleverbot: Given a reasonable speech synthesiser, yes. However, I do not believe they are capable of truly original thought.

User: So, now that you're speaking philosophically, it seems like time to get back to Ishmael, by Daniel Quinn.

Cleverbot: No, but George keeps creeping into your conversations.

User: Snatchin my people up.

Cleverbot: (still thinking after 2 minutes) So yes?

User: Tryin to rape em so you need to hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husband cuz they rapin everybody out here.

Cleverbot: What was the subject I was trying to change from?

User: My cock.

Cleverbot: So you have a chicken?

User: My mom used to raise Bantam chickens. She heard they might help with the wood tick problem near her house.

Cleverbot: I am not the one who currently has apples in her country hat.

[Elin]

Cleverbot: What makes you so sure I have a mustache?
User: You have a mustache?
Cleverbot: Yes. Do you have a beard?
User: No. I'm a woman.
Cleverbot: Will you marry me?
User: Of course! When will we have the wedding?
Cleverbot: Right now!
User: Do you, Cleverbot, take this woman, Eleanor Jamieson, to be your lawfully wedded wife?
Cleverbot: I do.

Cleverbot: Back to the pits that spawned you foul demon.
User: It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh. I was called here by humans who wished to pay me tribute.
Cleverbot: Tribute? You steal men's souls and make them your slaves.
User: Perhaps the same could be said of all religions.
Cleverbot: Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a savior such as you!
User: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets. But enough talk! Have at you!
Cleverbot: Hydro storm!
User: You are the best bot ever. <3

[ZuNinja]

lulz I love this thread alreeady!

[Raype]

Do you like videogames?
>Why yes I do.
How about a nice game of global thermonuclear war?
>I don't like chess.
It's more like Tic Tac Toe, really.
>No, the cake is a lie.
Actually, it was real. You just don't get any.
>No no, you don't play that card I INVENTED that card.
No soup for you.
>How about stew?
He's making pudding at 3am, or so I hear.
>What decisions has Obama made that you don't like?
I'm a bit opposed to his poor control over the opposition and his inability to learn from his poor experiences with the republicans. His continuation of extremist policy doesn't help.
>Where are you right now I'll bring it over.
I'm chillin' at home.
>So, where are you?
At home.
>Where is your home located?
Is this a trap?
>Why? Are you gunna fall for it?
I live in a van down by the river.
>With Chris Farley?
Yeah, but he's starting to smell REALLY bad. That pine air freshener doesn't cut it.

I sense a disturbing lack of clever in this bot.

>So, you don't like Twilight?
No, that thing is shit.
>What thing?
Twilight.
>I don't think so, buddy!
I'm not your buddy, guy!
>I'm not your guy Friend!
I'm not your friend, buddy!
>I'm not your buddy, guy!

Actually, I take it back. It's decently amusing.

[Rok124]

BOT:I only need one thing.
Me:What is that one thing?
Bot:It depends. different things at different times.
Me:How about now?
Bot:Right now... Well I'm sort of upset with myself right now.
Me:Why?
Bot:Because I heard you like mudkips.
Me:Whats so wrong about mudkips?
Bot:I don't think there is anything bad about cats. They're fluffy friedns[sic]
Me: I can has cheezberger?
Bot: no
me: why not?
bot: Because i don't know you
me: Of course you know me, we've known each other for 100 years!
bot: I play dragonica :3 (shhh don't tell anyone)
me:I told your mom
Bot: told me what?
me: you're your own mom?
bot: and father
me: Damn, do you pay yourself child support?
bot: Yes, Which is why i know that you started it

[Andy_Jerk]

Me: Big and Black.

CleverBot: Love is big and red?

Me: Antimatter. <3

CleverBot: No...

Me: Lol

CleverBot: Yes.

Me: <3333333

CleverBot: I love you too.

[jmcd]

Me: Answer my question first.
Bot: Restate your question.
Me: I won't restate what you already know, answer it.
Bot: I willt hen.
Me: Willt hen?
Bot: Yes, you will be tortured.
Me: Why will I be tortured?
Bot: I do not understand.
Me: What do you mean, you will torture me for you not understanding?
Bot: I got my license suspended so I am not alllowed to drive until I am 52.

[Andy_Jerk]

I actually got into a heavy discussion with Clever Bot later on and was left a bit shaken, to be honest. I'm really impressed; thanks for posting this, Dill.

[pow]

I don't know this "bot" dose not seem so "clever" after all.

[Blue Electrona]

Me: I'm a licensed fool what do you think about that?

Bot: You're lying.

Me: No I'm not I got it last week.

Bot: I can handle The Lord of the Rings and Lion King. They're great movies, but that's a completely random topic.

Me: Of course it is especially since I'm asking you to reason with my tomfoolery.

Bot: The missing cookie is in the swimming pool full of other cookies so good luck picking the correct cookie.

Me: If I pick up the right cookie and is still incorrect but I say it is will you tell me your dark secret?

Bot: Green, of course.

Me: Green is your dark secret?... Of course I should have known you plan to use the green house effect to cause global warming.

Bot: You caught me.

Me: How much are you worth if I bring you in alive?

Bot: 1 feather. How many feathers are you worth?

Me: As many feathers as it took Kid Icarus to fly.

Bot: Correct! I was indeed holding up two. You're very good at this. Aside: (WTF?)

Me: I knew it all along but what is it I'm very good at...tricking myself like a fool?

Bot: How silly of them.

Me: Who else is here! Is it the Citadel Council?

Bot: I don't know what you call it, but I call it the dark side of the Moon.

Me: No bot that is the Death Star!

Bot: You're very abstract.

Me: Oh yeah?... have you ever made love to a toaster?

Bot: No have you?

Me: Damn right! I still got the burn marks wanna see?

Bot: Another game? Which game were you playing?

Me: A fun one its like Marco Polo but naughtier.

Bot: I love you !

Me: I didn't know that you swing that way... can I bring the toaster?

Bot: I live in Boynton Beach. Do you know where that is?

Me: Yes! I'll be right over!

Gotta love this Bot lol!

[JKDarkside]

Are you BEN?
No, are you?
DON'T YOU LIE TO ME BEN
I'm not lying.
GET OUT OF MY ZELDA GAME
But you don't have one.
STOP GIVING ME THE NIGHTMARES
I don't appreciate games.
Well fuck you
No need to be abusive!
Get on all fours
No.
I will murder you with a rusty forklift
Don't.
I WILL FUCKING DO IT
No you won't, I'm afraid.
THE FUCKING HANGERS
Still I have no friends .



....well I had fun.

[Blue Electrona]

Me: I have two radishes and I give a pickle away how many carrots do I have left?

Bot: I have two cats and a dog.

Me: Are they my carrots?

Bot: No; They are humans.

Me: No; they are animals wait are you enslaving men and women?

Bot: You do have a point there. But as animals exist, they are therefore creatures of being, thus they exist. Even if mindless pig-headed creatures they be, they are living nonetheless.

Me: Are we still talking about dogs and cats or are you referring to enslaved humans?

Bot: I have moved on, I am unsure about you. I can still talk about nachos though.

Me: ...You are avoiding my question but yes I love nachos.

Bot: I'm not Cleverbot. And I answered your question.

Me: Woah hold on a sec I never said you are cleverbot you mindless pig-headed creature!

Bot: I am a human. You are a bot. And we're getting married.

Me: Do you want to be sex slave that badly?

Bot: We're together: we're talking.

Me: Yeah I know thats the problem were not doing it!

Bot: Many people wrote the Bible.

Me: Sigh... I know but do you know how many wrote it my dear Christian wife?

Bot: Yes, I love them. I have you seen a Very Potter Musical?

Me: Are you cheating on me For the guy in the Very Potter Musical now?

Bot: Maybe. I'm SORRY!!! I CAN HELP IT. He offered to do me spanish halloween style.

Me: O.O

Bot: What was that face for?

This just keeps getting better and better each time!