Real Talk - Bullying.

[Ace Ventura]

So guys I decided to make this video the other day, and it's a topic that's been bouncing around for a while. I really thought you guys should watch it, because really. It's a topic that's been affecting a lot of people lately.

[treos]

can't really comment on something like that video as bullying never really happened to me, was home schooled through some of high school before i went and dropped out (i did get my GED on the 1st try though so thats something) plus i tend to not get out much to begin with so noone ever really had the chance to bully me for anything.

1 thing related to this topic thats always annoyed me though is the generic advice, which anyone with any common sense knows never works, people tend to spew out whenever the subject comes up. things like "you should always go tell a adult or nearby teacher if you see someone being bullied". ok, now i might not've been bullied but i know for a fact that most school staff members, including teachers, don't even care if people are picking on you or if your being bullied and would just as soon ignore you, give excuses for the bullies behavior, or jost not care at all and simply do nothing to help matters. pretty sure everyone has experienced that at some point or another. yeah, "you should always go tell a adult or nearby teacher if you see someone being bullied", nice advice for naive fools who don't know any better maybe, for the rest of us, people can take that type of useless advice and shove it where the sun don't shine imo.

if people like those they show on cartoon network (i've forgotten the name of that group) want to help they should do something better than tell kids generic advice that never really works irl.

[Corey]

can't really comment on something like that video as bullying never really happened to me, was home schooled through some of high school before i went and dropped out (i did get my GED on the 1st try though so thats something) plus i tend to not get out much to begin with so noone ever really had the chance to bully me for anything.

1 thing related to this topic thats always annoyed me though is the generic advice, which anyone with any common sense knows never works, people tend to spew out whenever the subject comes up. things like "you should always go tell a adult or nearby teacher if you see someone being bullied". ok, now i might not've been bullied but i know for a fact that most school staff members, including teachers, don't even care if people are picking on you or if your being bullied and would just as soon ignore you, give excuses for the bullies behavior, or jost not care at all and simply do nothing to help matters. pretty sure everyone has experienced that at some point or another. yeah, "you should always go tell a adult or nearby teacher if you see someone being bullied", nice advice for naive fools who don't know any better maybe, for the rest of us, people can take that type of useless advice and shove it where the sun don't shine imo.

if people like those they show on cartoon network (i've forgotten the name of that group) want to help they should do something better than tell kids generic advice that never really works irl.

I haven't watched his video yet, but what you said is not only untrue, it's goddamn frustrating. Especially coming from someone who themselves said has never been bullied, you're just making yourself sound like an ass.

Telling an authority figure will almost always resolve the problem. Saying that teachers don't care about their students getting bullied is ridiculous. It's their job to care. I can't name one person that has had a teacher laugh at them getting bullied or even shrugged their shoulders about it. There might be a few bad apples, but please don't try and recite the same bullshit about teachers not caring when you obviously have no idea what you're talking about.

That isn't to say that it won't result in more severe bullying, but that can at least help alleviate the pain when they're in school or somewhere they can tell someone.
You just gotta remember that everyone has problems and not all of them know how to vent their frustrations in a healthy way. It's a tough issue that's hard to break down in a few sentences.

I have no idea what you're talking about concerning cartoon network. Can't really comment on that.

EDIT: This video should be much more capable than I am at explaining why it's a tough issue. Someone posted this recently and watching Roxas' video immediately made me think of this.

[gamerdude211]

I got bullied when I was a kid, and my dad told me to "hit him in the nose". And guess what? I did. And I also got suspended. And when I came back that kid never spoke to me again. Someone who never got bullied probably wouldn't understand that sometimes violence is the only solution.

This was perfectly justified:

[Ace Ventura]

I haven't watched his video yet, but what you said is not only untrue, it's goddamn frustrating. Especially coming from someone who themselves said has never been bullied, you're just making yourself sound like an ass.

Telling an authority figure will almost always resolve the problem. Saying that teachers don't care about their students getting bullied is ridiculous. It's their job to care. I can't name one person that has had a teacher laugh at them getting bullied or even shrugged their shoulders about it. There might be a few bad apples, but please don't try and recite the same bullshit about teachers not caring when you obviously have no idea what you're talking about.

That isn't to say that it won't result in more severe bullying, but that can at least help alleviate the pain when they're in school or somewhere they can tell someone.
You just gotta remember that everyone has problems and not all of them know how to vent their frustrations in a healthy way. It's a tough issue that's hard to break down in a few sentences.

I have no idea what you're talking about concerning cartoon network. Can't really comment on that.

EDIT: This video should be much more capable than I am at explaining why it's a tough issue. Someone posted this recently and watching Roxas' video immediately made me think of this.

That's actually the video that made me want to do something like this, there are so many people who have different perspectives and stories about bullying. I figured I'd tell my own.

I got bullied when I was a kid, and my dad told me to "hit him in the nose". And guess what? I did. And I also got suspended. And when I came back that kid never spoke to me again. Someone who never got bullied probably wouldn't understand that sometimes violence is the only solution.

This was perfectly justified:

I agree, that one was perfectly justified. Same with what you did, I never hit anyone. Although I should have years ago.

[eldigato]

I'll admit, I've also dealt with bullying. My childhood after I moved back to america was hellish. I lived in a right-wing town to the extreme (82% republican) and they acted like it. I was alienated when I transferred to that town's elementary school and was f**ked with by a lot of people, teachers included. I saw my academics go from top of the school (before the move) to D's and F's, or whatever the american elementary school equivalent was..

I don't want to sit here and waste all you random people's times, and I doubt anyone will ever care about me, so I'll just skim over it- social alienation / isolation, major depression, development of suicidal tendencies, then anger. I got into fights all the time, got in trouble, became psycho to an extent.

Then I moved to another run-down ghetto town in the Albuquerque area. I was a pissed off kid by the time middle school started, and some guy tried to give me s**t. I lashed out on him and nobody ever messed with me anymore. I was able to socialize without being ridiculed. Of course, violence is very risky. If you're caught in high school doing this, you could be thrown in jail, even though you're defending yourself. But, people won't make you a target if they know you can kick their ass.

I'm an adult now, dropped out and got my GED.. But let me tell you, I tried to get help from the administration; they never did much. I do remember once though, one of my math teachers.. There was this genius kid who aced math and acted kind of like the stereotypical nerd, not saying there is anything wrong with it. But, everyone gave her hell. I told the teacher that it was obvious she was being bullied by people in front of everyone in the class, and I had to act dominant and command her to an extent to take action. All she did was say "Hey, stop that kids.."

Treos, you are very lucky you didn't have to be bullied much, because it really does suck. My schools were hostile environments where people still had stereotypical cliques, acted like punks, kept to a hierarchy of jock douchebags at the top and intellectuals / outcasts at the bottom, it was like a generic 80s high school movie, except worse. American schools, and probably most countries' schools are probably crap too, and a lot of kids are complete monsters without the intellectual capability to comprehend their actions. They rarely have the ability to feel empathy; They are brainless morons.

I just feel like crap because I know millions of innocent kids are having to deal with the bullcrap I've dealt with. My advice is; violence is okay as a last resort, for self defense. Don't let anyone get you down, and don't be afraid to assert your dominance. You do not deserve to live a hellish youth. It does get better, but a lot of the time, you have to work towards it.

And in the end, most of those punks who give us innocents crap end up as uneducated trailer trash, or prostitutes who blow strangers in an alleyway in san francisco.

Hang in there, and don't give up- if you do, then the douchebags win.

[skullpoker]

If someone gives you a gift and you refuse to accept it, to whom does the gift belong?

So my middle school gym class absolutely hated me because even though my team usually didn't win at dodgeball, I was almost always the last one out by at least 5 minutes. So one day this guy I never would have thought would start shit with anybody decided to start a fight before the class started. I guess he probably did it because somebody else had a problem with me and didn't have the balls to do anything about it. So this guy starts shoving me, acting like a dick, and 3 or 4 other kids start throwing balls at me. Long story short, I manhandled this guy, bounced his head off the wall a few times, kept him from doing same to me, and never got messed with again.

Basically, if somebody gets violent I would fuck them up with equal force. This comes from the ethics my Sensei taught me as a child. "If somebody is willing and able to kill you or your loved one, it's okay to kill them first when they try to attack. If they are willing and able to break your bones, break their bones first. If they are willing and able to knock you out, knock them out first. If you respond with more force than you have to, I will have to address that as you are my student, and my responsibility." That said, I've never killed anybody, and very rarely hit anybody. Most of the time anybody wanted to hit me, I (correctly) judged that they were not willing or able to do any real harm. Most bullying is about the bullies own insecurities, or wanting to fit in. If you beat them in a fight, it won't solve all your problems or make people want to be your friend, but it will usually stop that person from bullying you. Unless they are in a gang, in which case try to get out of the area/school.

[maverickhuntergirlZ492]

Corey-I strongly disagree with you on teachers caring, some of them do yes and some of them will step up to stop it, but a lot of teachers and school staff can't be assed to do anything, more often then not, the bullied child is in trouble too, my parents had to put me through several different schools because the school staff did NOTHING about my bullies, I had to switch my daughter to a different school when she had been choked, got a death threat and reported it to her teacher who did not report it to me,and I found out from a second hand source and what did the little pissants get for choking a classmate but A One Day Suspension!! Does that sound like a bunch of adults who give a shit about their students? No.

Bullies often receive nothing more then a slap on the wrist, suspension or a warning. They might receive expulsion or jailtime if the parent forces those people to get off their ass and DO something by calling the cops or threatening to sue. The only reason I see for kids telling an authority figure that their being bullied is to cover their own ass when they defend themselves at which point the parent should say to the staff, where the hell were you? and why weren't you doing something about it?

Both parents and staff NEED to step it up. They are the adults they need to say Hey you! Knock it off! They need to take training to restrain kids who are getting violent. They claim that they have jurisdiction over kids from the moment they step on to school grounds, till the moment they leave and yet their jurisdiction tends to fall in the easy range of quibbling over a damn dresscode

[Prude]

I think it is really important to understand bullying. Bullying will always be a problem because it always has been. I feel that it's a part of human nature to gang up on someone if they are 'weaker', because it can give you a feeling of dominance. People who bully may crave this feeling of dominance to make up for an insuffieciency else where. It's a bit animalistic, especially if it gets to the point where the victim is on the verge of suicide, and the bully still continues. It's vicious and predatory, kind of how some animals can gang up on the 'runt' and sometimes the 'runt' will die as a result.

If you don't understand how bullying works, you won't be able to see it when it occurs or you will simply just brush it off 'kids will be kids', etc.
And it's absolute bullshit. There is a difference between getting in a little fight or playing too rough, and just straight up bullyiing. Bullying causes trauma, so it's important to stop it where ever you may see it; if you're an adult or a child, you should stand against bullying. We are more than just animals!

[JKDarkside]

I got bullied when I was a kid, and my dad told me to "hit him in the nose". And guess what? I did. And I also got suspended. And when I came back that kid never spoke to me again. Someone who never got bullied probably wouldn't understand that sometimes violence is the only solution.

I punched my big bully in the side of the head. Didn't stop me from being bullied, but it gave him the message that I was tired of being fucked with. Where you come into a problem is when you use aggression as your go to means of dealing with bullies; all my anger only made me a bigger target in middle school. Those years were hell, and it was partly my fault. Of course, it's also the fault of the school for being so bloody inept at punishing actual bullies. They wanted to suspend me at one point because I swung my foam, barely shaped, empty lunch bag at a guy who had been giving me crap for the whole year (although that situation eventually reversed when I had the right to press charges on the guy at one point; I didn't think what he did at the time was as big a deal as the adults did and didn't, we got along pretty well after that).

I think more adults need to understand a kid's head space to better deal with bullying. I know I didn't know crap about pressing charges or the finer points of sexual misconduct or physical assault law, and I doubt any of the kids picking on me did either, yet we were always talked to with adult concepts. I still loved Dragonball Z, I was not a kid you could speak to like you're at some lawsuit negotiation.

[Dyyavol]

Growing up in east europe, bullying is commonplace, so its a survival of the fittest atmosphere.

My first experience with a bully was instantaneous and painful, I was getting a drink from the water fountain and had my face smashed into the nozzle of it. After feeling sorry for myself for a week or so, I got wise and learned some basic street-fighting from the other orphans. When I actually began to hold my own against the older ones, the rush of it all became somewhat addicting.

I've always been a target because of my outward differences, I didn't really know anything of my mother's blood back in those days but I knew I was not "modern slavic" because of my darker skin, dark hair and I was genuinely taller for my age. Turns out, I'm half Oirat, which dominated my genes and is the reason why I look the way I do. Anyway back then, I was a target because a majority of the schools were pole, russi or serb dominated. Even speaking Ukrainian could get bloody, depending on who was around. But having different skin/hair from them, not dressing as nicely and having no parents were all frequent "reasons" bullies wanted to chop at me.

Anyway, the "first" bully from the water fountain was my first priority after getting toughened up by fellow orphans. He was at his locker, and he saw me, shot a lame joke about the fact he hit my head into the fountain and I lost it. I rushed him the minute he looked away and slammed his face into his locker until it was dented and he was unconcious. He had no choice but to keep the dented locker for the rest of the time I attended school, some 2-3 years.

Unlike when I was hurt, and was met by laughter from everyone around me, when I hurt him, there was only silence. Everyone looked at me and turned pale, started murmuring to eachother and darting off quickly.

From that day on, most other kids avoided me, sometimes acting as if I were invisible completely. I was worse than a bully to them, so I went through the rest of my schooling a loner, with only a small circle of friends. The only other instance of a bully I encountered, turned out be one of my closest friends after we beat eachother blood red in front of the school until neither one of us cared anymore and laughed about it like fools.

So in my own eyes, you are responsible for what becomes of being bullied. You either get smart, get even, or get worse. In my case, I got worse. Looking back on it, I might have done a few things differently but for the most part I'd do it the same way if I got a "second chance"

Bullying starts out as a psychological battle, where diplomacy usually fails. These battles are most likely only solved and prevented aggressively. If you show your fangs, and they are sharper than that of your enemies, the other pariah dogs will scatter. Do not cater to weakness.

[dyster]

I have had the same experience as of many people here , and I would maybe like to add some of my own feelings on the subject.
Some bullying cannot be resolved , either you cannot change schools , you cannot get help from staff , you cannot even get help from parents.
I definitely agree with maverickgirlhunterZ492 on the point that parents and staff should step it up , after all we are leaving the kids to the staffs care , and they should be doing a proper job out of it , instead of a really crappy one as mentioned by so many that posted here.
Unfortunately not everyone will or can get help from either side , it is a grim topic and a very hard one to give my thoughts on .
Being a victim of bullying myself , I was only able to stop it from happening being member of other bully circle , never bullied anyone in my life , but being with horrible kids just kept me safe from the other evil kids , again , not something anyone can do , I never actually resorted to violence in any cases of my abuse , should probably have done so , and my feelings on it change from time to time depending of the mood I am in.
For some of the users that are , I dunno , maybe promoting violence ? That is not actually something anyone could do or should do as sometimes you are against one person , sometimes there are more of them , sometimes they caught up to you after school , sometimes they are bigger and you cannot grow taller or stronger just by wishful thinking , and those are some of the worst cases I have seen during my lifetime.
As for my personal advice it would be trying everything before resorting to violence , since that can back fire in so many ways and everyones takes on violence can be different and or with disastrous results. After I couldn't take on bullying anymore , I just started skipping school.
Talk to your good friends , make staff and family ,if you can ,aware of the situation , change environment , just try your best to avoid what could be a very painful journey which in fact should definitely be the opposite , at least by my standards.

A good thing that enriched my character from the abuse I suffered was I begun writing amazing fantasy tales and poetry for quite sometime , not something I do anymore , but I took great inspiration from the sadness that was imposed on to me , you guys just might find something else , like music or midget mud wrestling perhaps.

Here is something you guys might find interesting , one of those idol singing shows , two kids tell their story about bullying through a song , quite touching if you have ever been bullied.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3Rf5qDuq7M

And this one , is not for the weak of heart , and or if you ever been bullied , please consider it has very strong images of bullying.
It is a bullying documentary , and it is very graphic and touching.

IMDB : http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1682181/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9q8znnrzUM

For anyone struggling with issues here is a website that can help the ones that might need someone to talk to about their issues:

http://www.depression-chat-rooms.org/

Totally free , no need of registration or anything , online chat 24 hours a day.
And for those of you who just need a friend or a good conversation , you can always PM me anytime here and we can chat .

Thanks for everyone that shared their stories , for the original poster for starting this discussion and for emuparadise aswell.
Hugs and high fives to all of ya , lovu ando peace! ( Love And Peace )

DysteR