Dear jerks,
it has been brought to my attention that the master lists in the upload sections have been discontinued. This has, apparently, helped some of the lesser staff members (you know, the ones that contribute and stuff) to recover from their depressions. The mod lounge has, as a result of people not being overly bitter all of the time, awaken once again and the staff of emuparadise are doing all sorts of silly things. I've, randomly, decided to share our holidays celebrations with you lucky people (sadly not in the shape of hand-related comics), in hope that it would get you in the spirit to celebrate the end of another shoddy year.
The tour of the mod lounge starts up here in the main office of the EP HQ. It's vacant because MasJ went on that world tour, playing with Iron Maiden or whatever. I hear he's quite good with the banjo. Anyways, this is where wedumpstore all of your requests and clever suggestions. I'm sure someone will tend to them eventually. Perhaps. Right next to it is the much tinier office shared between them big cheeses Sprung and Cookie Monster. Cookies is currently, however, being forced to sit on the floor outside because the room in full of the 75.107 christmas cards that Sprung received. He's been really good this year! They were all sent by Dill though, and contain lotsa male nudity, but Sprung is putting on a brave face, politely opening them all and composing replies and whatnot, quietly cursing his existence.
Next in line is the remnants of what used to be our entertainment centre. Inferno destroyed it in frustration after spending 15 hours trying to figure out how to do something besides shooting and jumping in Megaman 2, which was a gift from me. He would've received it earlier, in our secret santa thing if only he had signed up. I used to spend most of my time around EP in here, but now I have to hide in my two-story office which I'm forced to keep locked at all times to prevent people from seeing that it's full of lego and that the only thing on my to-do-list is "Reminder: play with lego!". Oh crap, Milady's standing around here now, but I don't wish to talk about her, what with women being garments and all that. Lui Bei said it so it must be true.
Hm, since there hasn't been alot of celebrating in this half-assed thread so far, we better go someplace more cheerful. Like the Emuparadise cemetary. I go here now and then to casually dance on the graves of Jazzmarazz, Borman, Theo and Panda man. I often stop to turn my head around, though, looking if Evans has come back as Zombie or something, but it has yet to happen and I'm starting to lose hope.
On the walk back I spot Raype, lying in a dumpster. We don't allow him to go inside anymore, because of all the vaseline stains on our furniture. Man, I really hope it's vaseline. In the wrapping up of things it should be noted that the food is all gone, crusher's gained lotsa weight and pinecones can no longer be found outside of Canada (hide them, eh!) etc.
At this point it's time to, you know, tell you guys to get the hell out of here. Me and some jerks are having a staff meeting in order to figure out how to make people post more in the FFA and in a less awful manner in General Gaming. I'm gonna propose banning everyone even tough Tanthias, Ragnar and Jackhammer will oppose and call me names. Gary will just be staring at me with dreamy eyes though, so it'll all be worth it.
So... you don't have to go home, but get the fuck away from me, please. ^__________________^ And a happy new year!