i need some advice on making friends.

[garrendesares]

the reason its so hard for me, i dont believe what alot of people believe and i lost people i trusted because of it, i now realize that i dont have anyone i can really count on. but the problem is, alot of people hate me now because of what i believe and thanks to my step sister with her bs, it is even harder for me to make friends around where i live. honestly, as fun as it is, i hate doing nothing but comming on here and playing video games and looking for a job, which some people i trusted cost me my first one by lieing to me and saying they would give me a ride when they didnt. i dont know, any ideas? and i dont lieing about what i believe, for one thing it eats at me constantly. and please bear with me this month, valentines day is one of my least favorite holidays, just because i never had a girlfriend or anyone to spend it with. that and it just makes me really lonely and really irratble. so sorry if i cause any problems

[Sprung]

Sorry about your problems, but I'll give you some advice. Short and simple.


Stop blaming everyone else for your problems. You did not take responsibility for a single problem you listed in your post.


Man up.

[luffy4]

i dont see why everyone is always depressed on valentines, ive never had a gf and i frankly dont give a damn, compare me to foamy in that regard, i care not for what relations of that sort have to offer

[JKDarkside]

Get out in the world and hone your social skills, take responsibility for your faults.

[Jazzmarazz]

Im always depressed on Valentine's Day and I do have a girlfriend...Im greedy and dont want to spend money.
A good way to make friends is to get a job that deals with customer satisfaction. This requires that you meet people and communicate. Obviously dont say offensive or stupid things and people begin to see you as someone who listens. Then maybe friends.

[krawniksmoka]

Just gotta ask before I can give any advice " how old are you? "

[Mistral]

Im always depressed on VD and I do have a girlfriend...Im greedy and dont want to spend money.
A good way to make friends is to get a job that deals with customer satisfaction. This requires that you meet people and communicate. Obviously dont say offensive or stupid things and people begin to see you as someone who listens. Then maybe friends.

I...can't be the only one who read "VD" and was profoundly confused for a moment.

At any rate, Garren, I think some of the people above are right. If you want to change your life, get out there and change it. I'm not sure how what you believe (whatever it happens to be) has to do with anything. It's not like you're demanding people adjust themselves to your pace or actively pushing your beliefs on others, right? I can't really say what it takes to make friends since I don't have any myself, but honestly, as long as you aren't really pushy or overbearing, and as long as you're willing to take responsibility when necessary and genuinely care, friendship is just something that happens as far as I've seen before.
This is pretty rich, coming from me of all people.

Just gotta ask before I can give any advice " how old are you? "

He has it listed in his profile: 21.

[Jazzmarazz]

I...can't be the only one who read "VD" and was profoundly confused for a moment.

At any rate, Garren, I think some of the people above are right. If you want to change your life, get out there and change it. I'm not sure how what you believe (whatever it happens to be) has to do with anything. It's not like you're demanding people adjust themselves to your pace or actively pushing your beliefs on others, right? I can't really say what it takes to make friends since I don't have any myself, but honestly, as long as you aren't really pushy or overbearing, and as long as you're willing to take responsibility when necessary and genuinely care, friendship is just something that happens as far as I've seen before.
This is pretty rich, coming from me of all people.


He has it listed in his profile: 21.

Sorry, VD is not some neo drug out there on the streets of Michigan. I meant Valentine's Day.

[Mistral]

Sorry, VD is not some neo drug out there on the streets of Michigan. I meant Valentine's Day.

Err, that's not the VD I was thinking of at first...the neo-drug, that is. I did realize you meant Valentine's Day right before I could make that misunderstanding really fun, though.

[Sprung]

Err, that's not the VD I was thinking of at first...the neo-drug, that is. I did realize you meant Valentine's Day right before I could make that misunderstanding really fun, though.

I thought he needed to get a shot or something

[krawniksmoka]

21 ok. Honestly making friends at that age is kinda hard but the easiest method I know is to start somewhere familiar like work or through family. Common interest is the spark of friendship. Say you talk to one of your coworkers about call of duty. Once u have a comfortable level of communication you can ask him if he'd like to LAN pary it up some day or something like that. Friendships rarely jump from meeting to being bff's so just take it slow with people. Constant contact and getting together is the base of friendship. That's my advice

[lizard81288]

I feel for you TC, i have no real life friends, because they are dicks. The last day of high school we made fun of people crying, saying "lol, we have the interwebz, we can just e-mail each other". Guess who doesn't get E-mails >____>. To make matters worse, every time i call one of them, they are hanging out with their other friends, and say they are going to call back, but never do. The only time i talk to them now is when i catch them on IM, and i try to talk to them.

So since I’m done with school, i spend my days finding a job. But i live in Michigan, which has none. Plus I’m a web designer, great career to get into
I apply for jobs, but i get no call backs. My professional job finder just hits up craigslist. However, all the jobs are in Detroit or further, and driving to there is about a 2 hour drive. I also don't have a girlfriend either. So i have no job, no friends, & no girl. I’m not close to my family either. I become bitter around holidays. However, I did have fun in college. I didn’t “shine” until my last sem. I talked to people, made jokes, and they talked to me and stuff. Fun times. Even girls talked to me too. Although they were already taken, lol, but it was still nice to fill up my social meter. Too bad it’s done now.

[KnightofNachos]

Friends are like Japanese dating sims. Don't answer with your true feelings, answer with what their character sheet would suggest would give the most alignment points.

[J03]

My experience with people has generally been hit & miss. If it's a hit, consider a small step of progression, if not, let it be. Never press something that isn't there.
People by some unknown chemistry, be it pheromones or some charismatic factor, are naturally drawn to each other.
As always, it's important not to obsess, especially over trivial matters, as can happen alot when it comes to things that you put alot of energy into it like building relationships. Not everyone wants to talk all the time, not everyone wants to hang out everyday.
One should refrain from living vicariously when it comes to friends. By this I mean learn to master your own life, don't depend your day to day activities on a single person (unless of course this person is a significant other/romantic interest, though this varies from person to person). Though it is easy to attach oneself to what we deem to be "stronger people", that's just a sort of attraction, it shouldn't be something one depends on for daily fulfillment.

I'm sensing a degree of self loathing, which is a very natural disposition if nothing's going right & I have no outlet for the things I've built up inside.
everyone needs a release of these negative emotions, but it's different for everybody as to how they choose to release it be it blogging, doing some form of art, sports, etc.
I should really mention the axiom that's really helped me in establishing my socialability, and that's "one must love oneself, before one can love others".
So do some soul searching, finding that thing in life you love & become it, "don't dream it, be it".

I completely recommend to anyone whose down on hard times not being able to find any work since it is a very competitive market, to go back to school/college. Granted you may have some school put in already, maybe even a degree or a professional certification, but that's no reason not to pursue further education.
Schools, like the Universities of Athens, are those places where great minds come together, where you can meet like minded individuals, & others who can help you grow as a person.

As the saying goes, if you build it, they will come..
So by all means, invest in yourself




PS: oh I thought that VD too upon first glance for some reason.. the one that they warned about in those 1940-1970's educational videos

[Jazzmarazz]

I thought he needed to get a shot or something

A little penicillin cleared it right up.