Ah, crap. Need a little relationship advice, folks.

[Bunneh]

Great...it appears I have bit off a lot more than I can chew, proverbially speaking at least.

Situation: Attempting to juggle 5 relationships without any one of the five finding out either a) I'm working with 4 other females or b) I'm playing each of them like a guitar.

Situation Report: One of the five, Erika, came to me this afternoon on the way home and told me that a sixth, yes, SIXTH, as in, 6th, female who I hardly even know wanted Erika to ask me out, since this 6th female apparently didn't have the courage to take care of the issue herself. Obviously, I got my WTF face out, leaned back, and said "Nooo! No, no, no. That ain't happenin', lady." Erika cocked her eyebrow, said "Oh really? Why is that?" to which I responded, after an instant of thinking about it (my initial idea was to see just how she responded, whether it would be a blush and grin or frown and "liars!"), with a smile and "Well, I hear that I'm going out with you right now, aren't I?" Erika got a guilty look of shock, much like the common "caught with your hand in the cookie jar" look we all know and love, then darted down a side hall in an attempt to keep me from seeing the expression. Since I had to get home quickly, I couldn't afford to go chasing after her, so I headed on home.

Now, this could put my entire operation at risk here. If the 6th gets pissed, then she could get friends, then I could be discovered. Also, if Erika starts bragging about this issue to her friends, rumors could spread, and I could be discovered. Finally, if the 6th gets her friends pissed and Erika starts rumors, I am FUCKED. Sideways.

Anyone know what might be possible to shut down this runaway reactor? I don't want to start poking Boron rods into it (pun not intended), but I want to get it back down to nominal range. Tips for me, anyone?

EDIT:

Fixed the wording in the 3rd stanza to better clarify what was going on. Sorry for the confusion.

[SA-X]

"Well...because...well, rumor has it that I'm going out with you right now."

That aint how stuff like that works kiddo. What the fuck?

Also: Pooper.

[The Joker]

look for the hottie and keep her? O_o

[Bunneh]

look for the hottie and keep her? O_o

That's difficult. They're all very good looking.

Eenie meenie minie moe?

[The Joker]

That's difficult. They're all very good looking.

Eenie meenie minie moe?

what kinda guy are you? nice ass/black hair/pink lips/close height is what i would go for.

also how old are you?

[Huey Kruthas]

Great...it appears I have bit off a lot more than I can chew, proverbially speaking at least.

Situation: Attempting to juggle 5 relationships without any one of the five finding out either a) I'm working with 4 other females or b) I'm playing each of them like a guitar.

Situation Report: One of the five, Erika, came to me this afternoon on the way home and told me that a sixth, yes, SIXTH, as in, 6th, female who I hardly even know wanted Erika to ask me out, since this 6th female apparently didn't have the courage to take care of the issue herself. Obviously, I got my WTF face out, leaned back, and said "Nooo! No, no, no. That ain't happenin', lady." Erika cocked her eyebrow, said "Oh really? Why is that?" to which I responded, after an instant of thinking about it, with "Well...because...well, rumor has it that I'm going out with you right now." Erika got a guilty look of shock, much like the common "caught with your hand in the cookie jar" look we all know and love, then darted down a side hall in an attempt to keep me from seeing the expression. Since I had to get home quickly, I couldn't afford to go chasing after her, so I headed on home.

Rumor has it? Maybe she ran down the hallway because she got creeped the fuck out.

[SA-X]

What does it matter? You won't know how to please any of them anyway After all, you made one run away from you

Seriously...'rumour' does not equate to a relationship. Sort shit out, mature a bit.

[Bunneh]

Sorry, Huey/SA-X. That was a bad wording to go off of. It's fixed in the original post now.

Also, SA-X, I'm not looking to fuck every single one of them at my pimping age of FOURTEEN. If you mean please them in any other way, of course not; there's no such thing as being able to make five women happy about everything at the same time.

[Banned]

What is it with gays and multiple partners?

[SA-X]

Wacko smiley was there for a reason. The serious bit was to sort shit out, which is the only thing you can do if you want your testicles to remain attatched.

[Huey Kruthas]

EDIT:

Fixed the wording in the 3rd stanza to better clarify what was going on. Sorry for the confusion.

Alright, you changed Rumor has it to "I hear that".

That's the exact same thing... This is so completely and utterly and even ridiculously stupid that I kind of think none of this happened, and your ploy for teh fabled internet attention is working.

[Ryan]

Your fourteen, and you say that your juggling 6 women. Is that correct? If it is then here are some of the options that are going in my head about this situation...

A)Your not really fourteen, but some idiot that likes to get laughs on the internet by acting like a fourteen year old kid.

B)Your not juggling six women and only saying that to seem as if you got the pimp skills to do it. Any smart girl would know if your playing. And on top of that, you might be lonely thing.

So after actually giving those two options no thought at all, I have come to the conclusion that the answer is really...




























C) Your Dumb and a sad thing.

[SA-X]

EDIT:

Fixed the wording in the 3rd stanza to better clarify what was going on. Sorry for the confusion.

Lesson for the day:

A stanza consists of a grouping of lines, set off by a space, that usually has a set pattern of meter and rhyme.

This aint poetry, therefore it's a paragraph.

[Cosmic]

Erika doesn't like you. Sorry bro, but it's not a good sign if she tries to pair you off with one of her friends and then runs away when you bring up the topic of a relationship between the two of you.

That said, I find it highly unlikely that you're not only working at the age of 14 but juggling five girls whilst doing so.

[Bunneh]

Your fourteen, and you say that your juggling 6 women. Is that correct? If it is then here are some of the options that are going in my head about this situation...

A)Your not really fourteen, but some idiot that likes to get laughs on the internet by acting like a fourteen year old kid.

B)Your not juggling six women and only saying that to seem as if you got the pimp skills to do it. Any smart girl would know if your playing. And on top of that, you might be lonely thing.

So after actually giving those two options no thought at all, I have come to the conclusion that the answer is really...




























C) Your Dumb

Question (think long and hard about this one): Did you actually PASS your High School English credits, or did you bypass the graduation requirements by screwing the principal?

I count 6 grammatical errors in that post. I would really, REALLY love to meet you in real life somewhere. To the meeting location I would bring a printout of your post, a rope, a timer, and my English teacher. Use your imagination.