Pet Diarys

[Mikey_]

*Excerpts from a Dog's Diary*

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



* Excerpts from a Cat's Diary*

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

[Inferno.]

lol
Dogs are totally stupid. "My favourite thing!" dogs like everything. Even sniffing another dog's shit.

[Kazuya Mishima]

lol
Dogs are totally stupid. "My favourite thing!" dogs like everything. Even sniffing another dog's shit.

:Xthat is true.

[Lady Firelyght]

<3 animals

[dkzerov]

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.


yet somehow they come back for those dry nuggets

[Roux!]

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.


yet somehow they come back for those dry nuggets

Stole my comment. Bastard. No soup for joo!

[Josh]

I've read the dog's diary before, but the cat's diary is new to me. It seems very true and matches a cat's personality perfectly. It also reminds me a lot of Stewie off of Family Guy.

[Saber]

Had a cat. Jumped outta the window. Lived though. Seems they do have 9 lives.

[Skinner8]

Your hamster or whatever sucks, and nobody else will ever care, save for the reason that they think it makes you care about their shitty pet(s) more. Get out.

[Strongbad]

Your hamster or whatever sucks, and nobody else will ever care, save for the reason that they think it makes you care about their shitty pet(s) more. Get out.

Yet another reason why you should be some sort of Super Powered Administrator. Very nice work; you get a big fucking thumbs up from me.

[youthquake]

i kill dogs for fun.

[polobunny]

Lol, nice one.

[Jase]

Had a cat. Jumped outta the window. Lived though. Seems they do have 9 lives.

You should throw it out the window 9 more times and see if its true.

i kill dogs for fun.

Two words:

Dim Sims

Asians have been killing Cats/Dogs for years.

Your hamster or whatever sucks, and nobody else will ever care, save for the reason that they think it makes you care about their shitty pet(s) more. Get out.

You win this thread.


Also:
Posting in Legendary thread.

[_M_]

i kill dogs for fun.

A coyote is a dog so I kill dogs for fun too.

Well skinning them isn't fun but blasting 'em is. I leave the meat for the buzzards or I use it to bait other coyotes then I blast them.

But I'd be lying if I said I didn't shoot 'em and leave 'em sometimes, but only when the fur isn't good.

[Elmdor]

You're wrong for hating queers and eating steers,
If you kill for the thrill of the hunt.
You're wrong 'bout wearing fur and not hating Ann Coulter,
Cause she's a cunted cunt.

You're wrong if you celebrate Columbus Day,
And You're wrong if you think there will be a Judgement Day,
If you're a charter member of the NRA, you're wrong.

Good for you.