Yesterday just watched Gravity, the Earth was pretty beautiful, and Sandra Bullock's acting was great~
This movie offered a totally different visual experience.
Yesterday just watched Gravity, the Earth was pretty beautiful, and Sandra Bullock's acting was great~
This movie offered a totally different visual experience.
Tokusatsu Dork
Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation
Started out looking like some horribly low budget Blip.tv show, then settled into a horrible low budget SyFy Original... until they showed nipples. Then it suddenly became bloody and crazy, to the point of cutting off a head with a meat cleaver, then sticking said head into a microwave.
Terribly acted, terrible special effects, terrible practical effects, terrible plot... I should have known not to watch it the moment I saw that LEDs on the guns were the actual effect they used to show weapons fire.
The Brady Bunch Movie
To be up front, as dated as the Brady Bunch were in this film, the "modern" world in which they were surrounded was even more dated. And for that reason, I cannot personally take the movie too serious; not that I would even if it were made today. As satire, one cannot take these things too seriously, and as a person who really wasn't a fan of the show to begin with, I went in without the ability to be offended. However, when I came out I found myself... somewhat pleasantly surprised by what I had seen.
The film thrives in calling out the absurdities of the original show without being cruel in its mockery. It struck a mostly delicate balance between making light of it and savaging the source, while at the same time showing just how ridiculous the modern world of 1995 was. Exposing the more innocent nature of the Brady characters, thrown against the corruption and decay of the then modern world, watching it mesh and flow brought a certain joy.
The main issues I had with the film were more of the absurd plotting and characterization; the main plot being the first. How in the Hell did they never know about their taxes until the near final notice? Even taking into account their mail sometimes being delivered to the wrong house, why no phone calls? No coming to the house in person? And of course, there is Jan... and her inner voices. The show played with the middle child angle, but the movie ramped it up, pushing her into a seemingly ever more insane death spiral of madness... only to be fixed by being told to "cut the crap".
If only more mental issues could be fixed in such a way...
Beavis and Butt-Head Do America
Oh god, a blast from my childhood. I saw this in the theater in 1996 when I was 12 years old. I had to travel to another city to see it because the local theater didn't have it. I was surrounded by people older than me, all massive fans... and when the lights went down, we were all excited. Laughter abounded, I was amazed. It was one of the best movie going experiences I ever had. And now, looking back almost 18 years later I still enjoy the film. The only real complaint I have is, of course, the lack of music videos and the duo riffing on them; but it's something I can forgive... if nothing else, out of knowing now that if they did, it would be much harder to get this film, or worse, it would have to be removed due to rights.
If you're a fan of the show and haven't seen it, then shame on you. See it now. If you aren't a fan, then it would be in your best interest to pass this film up, because you really won't get it.
A Very Brady Sequel
I really do want to see that I Dream of Jeannie, Gilligan's Island and Brady Bunch cross over that this film was totally hinting at.
Anyway, this film is superior to the first in the sense that they removed virtually everything that could date it in the mid 1990s. It's a smattering of references to the show, but it also does things with them; this film is less about using the fact that they're still a family living in the 70s and more expanding and filling in the gaps of the premises of various episodes. It also brings up a sexual tension between those made siblings by marriage, something you don't see very often.
All in all, I think it's actually a stronger film than the first.
The Brady Bunch in the White House
Now, I understand that it was six years between the second film and this, and due to that actors have aged, however there was no excuse for Alice. The casting of the new actors was terrible; it seemed as though they took whoever showed up and ran with it in spite of how horrible they were. It certainly feels like a product of its time, filming wise; you can just tell that it's a early 2000s film from the video quality. And the product placement... for a movie about a family stuck in the 70s, they sure do shill numerous modern companies and their products.
Jan's internal voices are back, and she moves her head to each one, showing an obvious sign that she's mentally disturbed, yet nobody seems to care. She talks to a painting of Abe Lincoln, who has a terrible CG mouth... and then other presidential paintings talk to her. More over Jan has been given the Meg treatment, the middle child that is verbally abused and hated upon simply because she's the middle child. It was present in the first two films, but it seems much more pronounced in this, as is self centered nature of Marcia, to the point of being vindictive towards those who she feels slighted her by being voted for instead of her or beating her in something.
Now we get to the soundtrack and how horrible it is. The first film suffered from dated music, the second film avoided it... this one reveals in bad, ill fitting music that distract from whatever is happening and generally make my eyes roll in disgust. It's the sort of tripe you would normally hear in a low budget bad movie like this, sure, yet in a Brady Bunch film it feels more out of place and horrible.
The plot, well, it's supposed to be political satire. Instead, it's just a boring, plodding attempts to discredit people with honesty in government and then goes into a parody about the impeachment of Bill Clinton. It's also the seemingly perfect time, in the films eyes, to bring up old episode concepts and shoe horn them in, just as the other two films did. Only they were much better at it.
As a Brady Bunch film it's nowhere near the standards set by the first two. As a sequel it's completely not needed. As a film all on its own, it's weak and has no actual value, either as a straight out comedy or a political satire. A true waste of nearly 90 minutes.
Jackass: The Movie / Jackass Number Two
Jackass is a curious beast. Everything I am tells me that I should hate this, and yet I don't. Maybe it's a sick little part of human nature to enjoy people being hurt, maybe it's some kind of repressed anger issues to see them doing it to others, maybe it's a morbid desire to see just how much people are willing to do and put themselves through for their own pleasure and by extension others who are like them. It's simply one of those things that, to sound cliche, you either enjoy or hate.
At least it seems that way; I've never once met somebody who was indifferent to this sort of thing.
Alien: Resurrection
Much like Alien 3, I enjoyed this movie despite the majority hating it. Yes, the plot was stupid. Yes, most of the characters were annoying. Yes, the acting could have been better. But at the end of the day it was still a pretty decent action film set on a space ship. Ripley made it clear, and under no uncertain terms that everybody was going to die, just as she had been trying to warn people before, only this time she actually did something about it, personally.
Comparing it to Alien is do to both films an injustice; they're two different animals, and if you wanted more of Alien then of course you would hate the film. It was a much more action driven film, like Aliens, only without the space marines that could shoot an Xeno in half. The ship was huge on the outside, and they reflected that on the inside while still giving it an enclosed, almost trapped feeling, perfectly friendly for stalking... and it even gave us something that I really did enjoy; seeing a Xenomorph swim. The agility and grace they have 'on land' is perfectly complimented with their water performance and really mixed things up for a short while.
The sets... they were pretty generic space ship. The practical effects were still great, the CG really wasn't that bad, and as always the Xenomorph design itself is still a glory to behold, especially when done with physical props.
Spoiler warning:
I would recommend it, but not to people who wanted another movie in the vein of Alien. Aliens perhaps, as this is a much more action driven film like that one... but expecting another Aliens is not going to let you enjoy it. Take it as its own thing, without trying to compare it to the others in the series and you may enjoy.
Alien vs. Predator
I went into this film having heard how bad it was... and while I don't think anything involving these two licenses should EVER be a PG-13 film, I came out wondering what I had missed to make people hate it so much. it's a dumb action film; anybody expecting the "horror" of Alien is going to be let down. The plot was just there to get to the main event; Predators killin' Xenos and humans in the middle getting slaughtered.
I don't know what else I can say, really; it's not as gory as it should have been because PG-13 has been neutered so much in the day few decades. But it still had a lot of action and violence, and they got around the rating many times by making it the non humans with the blood and gore. Seeing a Xeno get its head cut off, having its head cut apart to make a shield, the Predators being impaled on Xeno tails, the glowing green blood; all of it was still great and things we wouldn't have seen had it been humans.
Really, had the humans been removed completely, this film could have been even more glorious and violent while passing under the ratings radar... but of course humans had to been involved... if just for being hosts for more Xenos.
The main selling point, to me, were the Preds and Xenos fighting it out; the film delivered in spades. I didn't go in expecting it to be dark and 'thrilling' and 'horrific" like the first Alien, I didn't go in expecting humans to win against Predators... or anything else, for that matter. I have never read the comics so I had nothing to go on from that. I went in for two alien races killing one another and I got more than I could have hoped for. As I said, it was a dumb action film, the plot was paper thin to allow for the fighting; I'm okay with this because I was expecting an action film and that's what I got.
All in all I really enjoyed the film for what it was. I went in with one expectation and I got it. And so I would recommend it to anybody who wants alien on alien violence.
Alien vs Predator 2
As much as I heard the first film sucked, I heard the second was even worse "despite" being an R rated film. For me, the film faltered when it got to the boring human stuff; the lady soldier returning to her family and their life, the whole thing with the criminal guy and the blond girl and their... boring... so forced and dull romance and the conflict between him and some other guy. I rolled my eyes and suffered through it, because around them was an amazing action film about Xenos on Earth being hunted by a Predator.
The sheer amount of death in this film is amazing; what they lacked in the first film they made up in spades, and ensured their R rating with enough murder to put some wars to shame. And among the body count were children... so many children. I didn't think a film made so recently would have been the balls to show children get facehugged and have Chest Bursters on full display, but this film delivered beyond my wildest dreams. And all the while, as the Xenos left a trail of bodies a Predator followed along, erasing the evidence... until they got into the city proper. Then it became no holds barred violence and destruction as the Xenos infested more of the town and the Predator was outgunned, all the while the humans fell.
Spoiler warning:
There's very little I can say about the film to entice you, it's one of those films you have to see to fully appreciate. Yeah, it's a dumb action film, but it's violent, gory and has more balls than I ever assumed. If you can look beyond the inane human nonsense, and if you go in knowing what the film IS, and what it isn't trying to be in the first place, then you'll enjoy it. Especially the ending.
I was just let down because they had a dog in it and I was hoping for a Xenodog. But the film didn't deliver...
Last edited by Aeolus Aeneas; 2nd-March-2014 at 07:07.
Bounce Bounce Bounce
Well ever since Aeolus mentioned it I've been on a Predator kick. Although I sure as hell not gonna write an essay on each
Predator:
The first one is still awesome and does a good job with the suspense, not giving away the creature for quite some time. Seems like a good old Arnie action movie and then they throw in this killer alien. Good stuff 4/5
Predator 2:
Kinda poopy. The acting from some of the people is just horrid and they try to recreate the suspense of the first movie in sorta the same formula by not showing the Predator for awhile which I find is pretty redundant since everyone knows what it is. Some of the action sequences were good but my god drop the voodoo garbage
Also it has Gary Busey
2/5
Alien vs Predator:
Better than 2 and I kind of like it to be honest. They could have done so much more though. I hate when a movie has such a short running time. I love the changing walls in the temple (would love to see some sort of game do this - trapped in a giant changing level would make a good FPS. Unless there's something like that out there I don't know about) but still parts were a little silly.
3/5
Gonna watch the second AvP tonight!!!
Cookie Thief
The Cabinet of Dr Caligari.
Finally watched this tonight. Actually found it to be a very good film and one I was interested in for all of it, which is odd for me since I seem to be getting less and less of an attention span for films. Well worth the watch. If you can find a copy on youtube give it a twirl. Was going to watch the man who laughs afterwards, but all the copies on youtube seem to have the batman movie soundtrack in it(Mainly because the lead role inspired the joker apparently)
Cookie Thief
Been watching some 80's goodness on Netflix as of late:
Beverly Hills Cop (1984) - ***1/2 - Classic Eddie
48 Hours - (1982) - ***1/2 - Another great Eddie flick. This, Lethal Weapon and French Connection really set the standard for the buddy cop flick.
Another 48 Hours - (1990) - *** - Surprisingly good for a sequel, even though it is pretty much a carbon copy of the original.
Beverly Hills Cop 2 - (1987) - *** - Another good sequel, even if it is more absurd than the original.
Beverly Hills Cop 3 - (1994) - * - Awful movie. I've never liked it and time hasn't done it any favors.
Escape From L.A. - (1996) - *** - Fun movie, terrible special effects even by 1996 standards, but it's Kurt Russell.
My Left Foot - (1989) - **** - Had never seen this for some reason. Fantastic role for Daniel Day Lewis - it's no wonder he got an Oscar for it. The movie is darkly funny too.
Down and Out in Beverly Hills (1986) - *** - Pretty decent dark comedy - it's utterly absurd, but it's the kind of movie you'd only find in the 80's.
I think that about catches me up.
Meat suit
I'll be waiting for AA's movie critic book. :p For real though interesting breakdowns.
Watched Osmosis Jones last night. Don't judge me.
Super Moderator
I watched The WishMaster 1, 2 and am now watching 3. I think they changed the Djinn character too much between 2 and 3.
Tokusatsu Dork
Robin Hood: Men In Tights
My first time actually seeing this movie in a not cut down for TV version... but being PG-13 to begin with, it was amazing that they even needed to cut anything to begin with. Other than the very few dirty, filthy words. And somehow the term pansies. And saying that they're bunched when it came to their tights. Those censors always confused me, especially since I have seen different edits that don't mute them... or mute one but not the other. On the same station.
... Anyway... standard Mel Brooks stuff, this film. Singing pushed into something that normally wouldn't get a musical number, Mel Brooks cameos, some humor elements that make you question why it's a thing to begin with because it falls flat. Sadly, instead of JEWS IN SPACE... or the forests, we instead get a bunch of white guys pretending to be British and Dave Chappelle being not nearly offensive enough to really be funny... but again PG-13. But then, thankfully this film was made in 1993 instead of now, because I assure you the Arabs in this film would have been about a dozen times more offensive than... erm... well, the whole portrayal wasn't offensive at all. Actually I thought the guy who welcomed Robin to the dungeon was likely one of the most humorous characters in the film for how long he appeared. But you know it would have been now.
And Isaac Hayes wouldn't have been in it because of the death thing. Though, considering he was in the film for all of five minutes and wasn't anything special, it wouldn't have been a deal. Kind of the same for Patrick Stewart, except he's not dead. But he didn't do much in the film. At all. Except be an excuse to make a History of the World, Part 1 reference that I'm sure none of the teenagers who saw this movie in theaters at the time would get. Or today, really. Which should be a criminal act.
Where was I going with this? Oh, right, JEWS IN SPACE! No, wait, absurdest Robin Hood. It's one of those difficult things to describe, in all honestly, why I didn't find this film as funny as some other of his earlier works, but then it's hard to really describe any kind of humor that works for you as well. To me, the film simply wasn't up to snuff when compared to Spaceballs or HotWP1, but that's all subjective. There are genuinely funny moments of course, and I honestly think some of the moments I enjoyed the most were ad-libbed. But other moments fell flat, like the constant word mixing of the Sheriff of Rottingham; call me crazy but I simply didn't find that funny after the first time, or the boy who ran home screaming once he was saved in a seemingly obvious Home Alone parody, or the 12th Century Fox who made the Flipper noise when running, or really anything with Blinkin.
Not because I can't laugh at comedy with the disabled, but rather because it simply wasn't funny. I'm not sure what they were thinking with his character, but all attempts at humor involving him fell flat. There was also the fat nanny who was more annoying than some kind of comic relief. If anything, she reminded me too much of Nanny from Voltron, whom I have always hated. I'm sure she was better in Go-Lion though... wait, getting off topic again.
The film has its problems, yes. Many pieces of comedy fall flat, the musical numbers are in no real way as memorable as HotWP1, the inclusion of the rappers at the start and end were not needed at all... but the movie does have strengths as well, and those are worth watching the film for. I don't want to say them because that would be ruining half the fun; let's be honest, the worst thing you can do is recommend a comedy and then tell somebody all the A material. And hey, maybe you'll find some of the stuff to be funny that I didn't.
As a Mel Brooks film, it's no Spaceballs or History of the World, Part 1... but hey, not everything can be gold. It's still a mostly enjoyable film, and that's what counts.
Starship Troopers 3: Marauder
Right off the bat, I want to say that the CGI in this film looks somehow cheaper than that in the second film, which had a 7 million dollar budget compared to this ones 20 million. But at the same time, they had multiple times more special effects than the second film, so I suppose it was a case of stretching it as far as they could. Plus they had many more physical sets. And guns that didn't use LEDs to show shooting effects. Though the guns in this film were comically large and obviously made of plastic.
Anyway, I've read several reviews of this film and many give it flak for not being "as good" as the first film and not being faithful to the book. Which is hilarious when you think about it, as the first film was heavily criticized for not being at all faithful to the book. So how is it that people can now praise the first film and call this bad because it did exactly what the first film did? I haven't seen Invasion yet, nor have I read anything about it... but I wonder, will people be giving this film praise and calling that one out on not being faithful to the book as well?
But enough of that, on to the movie itself... and, well, it's meh. It's better than the second film to be sure, but I'll let you in on a secret; I haven't seen the first film completely, and it's been years since I last saw any of it. I know the ending and bits, but I cannot say with all proper due if this is better or worse than the first. But I can say that it's not an amazing film. It's nowhere near as painful as the second film, a point I'm sure I'll belabor a few more times before this is done.
The return of Rico is a big selling point of the movie, but again didn't see the first one completely, so maybe I'm missing out on something here. Not that it matters much; he's barely in the film for more than maybe 20 minutes all told in what's about 96 minutes without credits. His performance isn't anything to write home about, a fact I'm confused by because so many say his acting is one of the few good points in the film. But he's one of the many average, not very noteworthy performances in the film; in a film ripe for scene stealing nobody could deliver. Instead we get generic tougher soldier woman, a woman with a thick accent trying real hard to speak English, the paper pusher who is by the numbers and doesn't understand the real nature of war and people you wish would die... but to say if they do or not would ruin all the fun of sitting through this.
The action, what little there is, is much better than the second film, but it's separated by long, boring stretches of... get ready for it... walking in the desert. Congratulations, you were doing in 2008 what they had been doing in Stargate for years... only much worse because that show actually was interesting. And you know, that show had a much better play on religion as well.
Yeah, the elephant in the room that is religion. Now, I'm not sure if they were mocking it or not. I'm pretty sure they were, and in the ending they were making a statement about using it to control the masses. But at the same time, several characters seemed to be genuinely convinced of their faith and conversion. I'm not quite sure if that was an under the table stab at those with faith or their attempt at trying to not be as offensive.
So, as an action movie it's not very action heavy. As a sequel it's better than 2, but I cannot say anything about 1. As an effects movie... ha ha ha no. As a movie overall, it's poor; the action is little and far between, the effects are horrible, the guns are made of plastic and something you could see packaged with cheap action figures from the Dollar Store/Tree/whatever or Poundland or any other super cheap store that sells them. The acting isn't anything special, the plot is generic and, while not painful to sit through, it's just an overall not enjoyable experience.
Guess I gotta watch Starship Troopers now to see where I stand with that. And Invasion. Though, being Japanese... well... let's just leave it at that.
Last edited by Aeolus Aeneas; 10th-March-2014 at 10:52.
Baawwwkk!! Bawk bawk!!
Kara no Kyoukai: Mirai Fukuin
Tried to watch it on the PS3 (and been promising myself to watch this a few days ago).
Tokusatsu Dork
Prometheus
I'll be blunt, this film is a massive bore for the first half hour; there's having slow pacing and then there's the glacial crawl that this film confused for it. I was tempted to pull the disc out 12 minutes in simply because I was that bored of just seeing the crew not doing anything. Another issue I have, and this is for science fiction in general, is setting a story 50+ years into the future and then not showing any real progress in every day technology, the way people dress ir even talk. For a film set in the late 2080s and then mid 2090s, the first few minutes would have fooled me into thinking that it was still 2011. It's not until they get to the ship that things finally show progression... and then it's too much!
This film is a prequel to Alien, yet their ship is much more advanced than the one from the first film, which is supposed to take 30 years into the future. Or Aliens. Or Alien Resurrection, all of which take place even further into the future. The only things linking them are some set designs (mainly doors), the hypersleep chambers and David being a synthetic. Everything else is far too advanced to fit behind a film that comes after it yet uses CRT monitors and has nothing like holographic displays.
When they finally do get to where they're going, the film picks up slightly in the fact that something is happening, but what that is doesn't do much for me. It tried too hard to be similar to the first film and in that it simply reminded me that Alien, for everything I said about it, was still a much better, more intense film. Wandering around dark corridors in space suits, finding a chamber of unknown deadly objects, a storm, said deadly objects being the source of all the troubles the crew faces; I've seen it all done before, and done better by a film made over 30 years ago.
The story is, basically, replace the Xenomorphs with the new deadly stuff and basically you have this story, only it's even less interesting than before. There's also a huge religious theme to the plot which both bores and makes me laugh at how inane it is. There really isn't anything more to be said isn't a spoiler, but even that is both boring and highly generic.
While they did build several sets, the majority of the special effects are, once again, CGI. Needless to the point where they were showing off, it felt; most of it could have been replaced with convention effects. Or real technology. At least that would have made it mesh more with the other films in the franchise.
I know it seems I'm saying a lot of nothing here, but that's what the film is. It's a boring, plodding film that has no tension or atmosphere to warrant it. The plot is the same old thing you could see in any of the Alien films, characters who were as boring as the film and special effects that show just where all the money went to instead of actually writing a decent film. Prometheus is a pointless, boring, unneeded film that added nothing at all to the Alien universe.
It's going to be nothing but a footnote in the franchise, and it's earned that place. It's not worth the over two hours that it took from me, and I suggest you run away screaming if it ever comes to your home. But then, I would scream too if an animated piece of plastic suddenly came to my house...
Oh, also the trailers and the 3 minutes long blu-ray advert at the start of the disc cannot be skipped. Fantastic.
hey guys frozen is the best animation movie i watch
Tokusatsu Dork
Terminator Salvation
Now, this film takes place after Terminator 3, which is T2, which is after the original film. I know that the timeline for this franchise is all kinds of wonky, but with the fact that this film takes place in the same universe, or timeline, or whatever created by the first film, you would assume that John knows things. He would have known the T-800 with living tissue over a metal endoskeleton. He would know that some machines can be trusted. He should know a lot of things.
Salvation basically has him forget all of that. In this, it seems the only source of any kind of information is from tapes from his mother. There's at least one subtle nod in the form of his ability to hack machines, but aside from that...
Spoiler warning:
The film may as well have said that none of the previous films ever happened, and that this is a new version of the events. That way, at least I could forgive the glaring gaps in things John should know, the lack of sweet laser weapons, the fact that Skynet in the third film was basically a global network and that there was no real way to "beat it" because there was no central location (which is mentioned at the end, yet prior in the film they acted as though striking at one location would win the war) and the resistance being basically the modern US military in every way, albeit in reduced form, instead of the rag tag group you catch glimpses of in the first two films.
I liked the first film, I loved the second film, I kind of enjoyed the third film... to a degree. But this? I'm sorry, I can't. Not as a direct follow up to the other films.
Last edited by Aeolus Aeneas; 19th-March-2014 at 11:59.
Baawwwkk!! Bawk bawk!!
Kara no Kyoukai: Mirai Fukuin Extra Chorus (on PS3)
Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah (via STARZ, free this week)
Super Moderator
Rockadoodle
Rank of Master achieved
Watching some Boondock Saints while drinking beer of course.
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