Dear Santa...
With a click and a clack,
and a great big ball sack.
Down through the chimney,
considering my size and my age - relatively nimbly.
Shaking my belly, like a bowl full of jelly.
Wobbling my wang, like a bowl full of flan - wait that doesn't really rhyme.
Anyhow, it's freaking Santa ya dumbasses.
The deal here is I've taken some time out of my busy program (Gilmore Girls re-runs, team Logan-for-Rory!!!), to give you cretins here at Emuparadise a rectal exam. So if you tell ol' Santa here what you're wishing for, come Christmas you'll see if there'll be presents galore. Or perhaps some of you have been all too naughty, in which case I might stop rhyming and just kick you in the gonads.
So don't be shy ya bell-ends, what do you want for Christmas?
Last edited by Santa Claws; 20th-December-2015 at 02:59.
He's making a list, checking it twice.
Gonna find out who's naughty or nice.
Santa Claws is coming to town!
He sees you when you're sleeping, he climbs into your bed.
He'll do weird stuff to your anus if you complain, so - just play dead.