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There is no such thing as leftover pizza. What you percieve as cold pizza is, in reality, a hallucination brought on by your repressed feelings for your mother, as is clearly indicated by this...

Holy mother of god, I just had the greatest idea ever.

1)You take the stuff that goes in the middle of the sandwich.
2)You put in the blender.
3)And you pour it over cereal.

You wanna play rough, eh?

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
Because she was an abusive drunk.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas?
Nothing.

How do you make a dog go "Meow"?...

Thanks for proving my point. Not that I was making a point in the first place.

Hey Polo.

I have returned from my multiple-month attack of apathy in which I neglected all I hold dear on the internet. And I'm sure no one missed me.

I love you all too.

I heard this one years ago:

A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it's a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but, amazingly, neither of the clerics is hurt.

After they crawl...

Is no one else here an insomniac?

Of course, here in CA it's only 9:30, but still...

I feel so alone...

Finally saw Fargo last weekend. Now I have the strangest urge to go buy a woodchipper.

I watched Mazes and Monsters; its been sitting unopened on my shelf for months.
I can't describe how terrible that experience was. The closest I can come is it was like driving an icepick through...

You're entitled to your opinion. Even though it's wrong.

I just remembered why I hate Nicholas Cage so much. Why did I rent Ghost Rider? No, really, why?

The Sweet - Ballroom Blitz

FF IV and V. Fun stuff, but my eyes are starting to hurt.
Should I do VI?

My weekend:
Transformers was kickass...
But Order of the Phoenix was better.

I finally saw Corpse Bride. It was short, predictable, forgettable, and very strange... but it's still a Burton film with Elfman music, which makes it worth seeing.

Let me know when you find them. I'm good for a few needles.



:-)

I feel kinda sorry for him... or I would if I could stop laughing.

The Sweet - Ballroom Blitz

"You remind me of your sister."

"Um... are you sure you don't want kids?"

...wow. I didn't think anything I'd ever see could be "skull fucking awesome legendary." I guess I'll go see it tomorrow, then. And then I'll buy the comics (or graphic novels or whatever).

That's not being nice. That's sarcasm, forced politeness, and veiled contempt.

I prefer to accept my flawed reality than listen to the truth.

Actually, you most likely sit corrected. Unless you're still sore from last night...

Wow, I'm actually making crude sexual jokes. I haven't done this since the sixth grade.

Um... it's a fetish for people with cowlicks. (That curly strand of hair on Superman's forehead)

The new guy?
Naw, it's just average... or so I heard from your mom.

Eh, now I feel immature.

How about a cowlick fetish?