The Emuparadise Awards of 2011 - Now with 10 % less rollbacks! - RESULTS POSTED!!!!!!
Dear jerks,
I shall not lie to you. It has been a somewhat slow year, and as far as I'm concerned you're losing your appeal. 2011 had no rollbacks, no long-standing members getting banned; and no one - at all - posting tubgirl. Fortunately the almighty staff of whatchamacallit have some great plans for 2012; with awesome user submitted-content-err, contests and such. Also, we recently upgraded our forum version which is why everything is totally buggy and stuff.
So, I played with the idea of not having any award thread for 2011 at all. It would probably have been more fair to just crown Lizard the King of Emuparadise (or atleast Mighty General who Conquers Barbarians or something) and be done with it all. Still, it might've made the four of you who actually still care sort of sad, so I've given in and, uh, yeah. Screw you all etc.
Favourite Newcomer: MEEMS, no doubt. Why the hell didn't this member keep posting!?
Favourite Admin: Urgh... so many good ones. Crusher, Tan and Cookies, perhaps. Leaving out Ragnar is silly, but I don't wanna vote for more than three. :( And he's gonna get mentioned later anyways.
Favourite Super-Moderator: We have SMODS? Though it was just admins and former list-monkies. That's what we call the people we try to fool into keeping all the master lists, in order by the way. Sadly they all left, sneaky buggers. Ray! <3
Favourite Moderator: Elin and Strongbad, who needs to come back. I cry myself to sleep at night...
Favourite RetroD00d!: Gare, Necro and.... Ru! Has MoG even posted this year? Wait, is Ru a SMOD? Eh... Oh, and Sage too!
Favourite Regular Forumer: Those... brothers. I don't know their names; they might like hockey? If they've been retro'd I'm setting their status back, because editing my post is such a hassle.
Least Favourite Forumer: I love you all equally. It's a really small amount though.
Funniest Forumer: Ray, Cosmic and Sprung.
Smartest Forumer: See, I was gonna say Mistral, but he/she/it is really more of a most articulate/well read kind of person, so I'm going with Cosmic for common sense and supporting my various silly demands. Like how we managed to have Cheezy not-banned for a whooping extra four months or so. Man, what an asshat he can be.
Dumbest Forumer: Lizard. :chinese:
Most Helpful Mem8ber: Ragnar, Tanthias and Cookies.
Most Respected Member: Still don't get this entry, so I'm voting for MasJ. :shrug: He makes my curry boil.
Nicest Forumer: Elin, Tanthias and Cookies.
Hottest Member: -
Most Spammy Forumer: -
Most Missed Forumer: I don't know if I can think of anyone... let's see; Skinner, nek, Paul, Cyber, Evans, MoG, Jazz (?), Ivolt (?, we never seem to post at the same time anyways), PH, pkt, Toto, Darth, CCDART, Lee, Strongbad with friends, that lesbian chick, Xena, Theo, uh... Cheezy.
Least Missed Forumer: Magnet guy.
Best Thread Starter: I seriously have no idea. What's up with you guys never making proper topics in the free for all? Poor Andy is forced to have this insane discussions with himself. I know Gare made some cool topics in General Gaming though.
Worst Thread Starter: Has to be Lizard. Seldom mentions his own view of anything; and too much work-related wackyness for one year.
The Most Shocking EP Moment of 2011: Seggy coming back... again!
The Favourite EP Moment of 2011: See above. Also, that other Arsenal fan posting in the sports thread. I forget his name. Y-something....
The Least Favourite Moment of 2011: Seeing that Inferno didn't sign up for secret santa. Oh, and that whole forumon debacle. Sorry, King. :wacko: Also, Evans leaving. :(
Best Thread of The Year: Emuparadise: The Newbie Days by Gare.
Worst Thread of The Year: Fuck if I know.
The member most deserving of a mention, without getting one: Jack, Panda, Gary, Mistral, Milady, Brit, Screwed and a bunch more probably. Drags and Zally for instance!
Best Drunko of The Year: -
Favourite Avatar: -
Favourite Signature: -
Favourite Skin: The awesome one.
The guy who's never offline: Inferno.
Best Smilie: :chinese:
Worst Smilie (Yes, it gets removed!): :tard:. I really don't get it. :shrug:
Favourite Overall Forumer (MOTY): crusher, Cosmic and Cookies.
Favourite LP: Haven't even watched one this year.
Yeah, so if you want to add your own entry, be quick if you want people to vote in it and such.
So, when does the contest end? March? Mid-september? It's just as Ivolt once said, no one ever knows. It depends on how many children I can rescue before they're devoured in the fires that I've started. I just can't resist playing with matches. Or running with scissors. I so love living on the edge.
RESULTS POSTED!!!!!!!!!!
So, me and crusher beat Contra III a while ago. I was totally planning to not get killed at all and amaze him with my mad skills, but stuff went wrong, controller didn't work, the wind was blowing in the wrong direction and I had the sun in my eyes (I had forgotten my cap at the local monkey boxing rink... again). Oh, and it took us, like, two hours to get everything (except my control-scheme and hatlessness) working and then the game was over in, like, 20 minutes. Now, you may wonder why I shared, with you, this delicious anecdote and why I don't simply purchase another cap to keep in reserve. Well, it's because it will seamlessly lead me into this whole here EP award thing. See, typing this takes a fair amount of time, and only a few select people will enjoy it, and it won't last very long for them. Kind of like <very perverted act that will make the few who's into that sort of thing overexcited>. Also, who the fuck are you to tell me when to buy a cap?
Actually, turns out I didn't post the results last year; Gare did. He got tired of waiting and posted them january first. What month is it now????? :chinese:
So then, let's get this shit over with. First up the pre-aired awards, meaning the ones I don't care to analyze. Ha Ha Ha Lazy!
Hottest Member:
EGGO: 02 votes
Gare: 02 votes
Most Spammy Forumer:
Lizard: 05 votes
Luffy: 03 votes
Darklinky: 02 votes
Least Missed:
Cheezy: 04 votes
Akuma: 02 votes
Most Shocking Moment:
Dan quitting and coming back days later: 02 votes
Sage's return: 02 votes
Favourite Moment:
Return of old members: 02 votes
Least Favourite Moment:
Steve not getting N64: 02 votes
Evans not posting: 02 votes
Chat: 02 votes
Crap Ray dealt with: 02 votes
Worst Thread:
All Favourites: 04 votes
All Lizard's: 02 votes
Most Deserving of a mention without getting one:
Drag: 04 votes
Milady: 03 votes
screwed: 03 votes
Zaladane: 03 votes
Ray: 03 votes
Tass: 03 votes
Ivolt: 03 votes
Devi: 02 votes
(Yes, I actually got tired of bolding stuff!)
Best Thread:
Gare's Newbie Days: 07 votes. Now this is unfair, not commenting I mean, because Gare's thread was great and he's very handsome and tall and hungary. Problem is, no one voted for anything else. Not properly at least. URGH!
Best Drunko:
Sprung: 05 votes
Steve: 04 votes
Favourite Avatar:
Gare's: 06 votes
Ray's: 02 votes
Milady: 02 votes
Favourite Sig:
Gare's: 03 votes
Ras's: 02 votes
Favourite Skin:
Default EP Style: 07 votes
Elm's: 05 votes
EP Blue: 03 votes
Never Offline:
Inferno: 11 votes
Best Smiley:
Wacko: 10 votes
sleekcute: 03 votes
sleekcute2: 03 votes
Worst Smiley:
:goofball: 02 votes
:pink unicorn: 02 votes
:Kef: 02 votes
Watch them closely, 'cause I'm removing them all! ^_________^
Favourite LPs:
Tan's RE4: 01 votes
Batman (Drag): 01 votes
Code Veronica: 01 votes
X-Men: 01 votes
Catherine (Ray): 01 votes
Sage's streams: 01 votes
Anything done by retros: 01 votes
Resistance 3 demo: 01 votes
The favourite newcomer was Gypsy (5 votes), followed by TheRealSpiders and Nemesis (2) votes. It's funny because when I read their names I was, like, "those guys are newcomers"? Well, it might not seem very funny to you, but me being lazy amuses me plenty. It's almost like when I force people to play "find five wrongs!" with me, and pull down my trousers, place my wang sticking out of the, uh, left leg hole of my undies, make a silly face and gang signs with my hands. That might seem like some kind of weird joke, but it's not. Oh, and I was gonna say something about not knowing who that Spider chap is, but I'd much rather talk about myself.
You favourite admin was, naturally, Cookie Monster (13) for the freaking fourth time in a row. I must tell you though, he's not as good as he seems. Just because he works his ass off for EP and is all awesome and superfriendly people think he's so great, but I'm not that easily persuaded. Sure, I voted for him but that's just because I think purple is a pretty funny colour. Can't decide if it wanna be red or blue... hilarious. Oh, Sprung and Jack (2) got destroyed. Not surprising since no one associates them with any colours.
The Favourite S-Mod deal was an even contest between pretty recently promoted people (or not, I haven't been paying attention, who really gives a damn?). Inferno (9) pipped Ray (8) and Milady (7) to the title and pressumably celebrated by drinking lots of Dr. Pepper. And then everyone pressumably hugged, because that's wha the Teletubbies would have done. Chances are Inferno won it last year too, but I'm not gonna bother properly looking it up. ^_____________^
With last years winners Ray and Milady having added a fancy word infront of their access-titles, much like the NES before then, Elin (8) easily claimed the Favourite Mod award. Jazz (5), the lovable bugger, and Meganova (3), who I know absolutely nothing about, also got some votes. Totes.
My older brother and better half (the family get-togethers are pretty akward) Gare (10) are your favourite Retrod00d for the second year running. Oth notable oldies are Steve (5), whose excellent taste in movies no doubt got him his votes aswell as Cos, Necro, Shard and good ol' Sage (4) Ivolt, who tied Gare for the win last year, didn't even finish in the top six, but he wasn't annoyed by it or anything because he is a very mild and easy going person who doesn't rage easily.
Seems as very few people voted for the favourite regular forumer probably meaning they're all pretty crap. Fortunately for Gypsy (3), he's the least bad (I STILL LIKE YOU!). Other not totally worthless posters include Nemesis, Kouen and TheRealSpiders (2). Ah, how I wish that I could give a fuck /clearly jealous.
And now for my favourite award: the least favourite member of 2011. Well, actually, I just made that up because I thought it seemed kind of funny. No? I mean, first it's my favourite, and then it's the least favourite and then I rememember that I probably should spell it favorite because I usually spell realise with a z but maybe I'm getting things mixed up. Anyways, isn't it almost some kind of pun? You know, like when sport journos go, like, "LOL ZLATITANIC IBRAHIMOVIC!", whenever he falls over. Actually, that never happens, but I think it should. So, as you've probably figured out by now, Lizard (3) won it and Luffy (2) followed closely behind. Eh he he, ZLATITANIC.
Now that you guys are all in the mood for some more laughs after I warmed you up with that "least most favorite"-bizz it's time for the funniest forumer award. Because talking about funny people is kinda funny! Pressumably. Maybe not. Anyhow, last years runner up Ray (8) managed to steal the title from Cosmic (7) while Darklinky somehow got 2 votes, that were perhaps sarcastic. Do note that I say that mainly because I remember very little about him. Was he the one who scammed Jackhammer? Ha Ha Ha!... ZLATITANIC.
So, have you ever noticed how many dumb members we've had around here over the years? Cheesy was fat, which is dumb because he doesn't realize that not being fat is better than being fat is; Lizard can't get hired and can't come up with comebacks when people tell him he's a bum (seriously: "so if your face!") and crusher dials people with his wang. Actually, that's awesome rather than stupid but I digress. So - as I was saying before you rudely interrupted me by scrolling past my inane rambling - Mistral is the smartest forumer for the fifth freaking year in a row. No one else gets mentioned; we just can't compete. I just realized that the font I used for that weird reigning champion thing can't be read when using the most awesome skin on EPForums. For some reason this makes me very happy.
Speaking about reigning champions: Lizard managed to reclaim the title as the Dumbest Forumer, although he only pulled off a tie with last years winner blackcitadel (3). Didn't we ban that guy, like, two years ago? Nemesis came is third, although merely with 2 votes, so there's hope for him yet /lying, he's screwed and will be riding the special-people-bus for years to come. Or not, what the fuck do I know?
Zorlon (7) is the Most Helpful Member. Cookies and Meganova (6) weren't nearly helpful enough and must return to their respective villages in shame. Zorlon... what a guy! You should've seen him when I got caught with my dong in the zipper. He hardly mocked me at all, and when I passed out from severe blood loss he only teabagged me a little. Good times. Oh, and it must be noted that Tanthias deserves special mention for being the one who tallied all the votes (ahem, several months ago).
What with today's society being populated by various cretins who never got beat up by their teachers and whatnot when they were little, I find that respect is hard to come by. Furtunately for MasJ and Cookies (6) they are the Most Respected Members of gbxemu or whatever this is. Cookie is actually so respected that he's won this thang three years in a row now. Personally, I still don't really understand the title, is this about power abuse or something? Probably. Other minor tyrants are Jack, Sage and Cosmic (3).
Scotlands foremost national treasure - if that makes any sense and I sorta hope that it does not - Elin (10) is the nicest member around these parts. It should come as no surprise what with her inability to utter unkind words and all that, but yeah, Big Phil thinks you're the greatest person ever and when has he ever been wrong? I'm a bit bummed though, gurl always tell me I have a nice member but whatever. Tan (4) and Cookies (3) made sure that the top three is the same as it has been for the last three years. I think.
Evans is the Most Missed Forumer, which I have previously tried to fix, but to no avail. AND I TRIED MY HARDEST TOO!
Other missed members are: Syn, Skinner, Cyber, Hypnos (he's almost active now, isn't he? :P), Toto, Sa-X, Jazz, Chen, Kermit, Jazz (here recently at least :wacko: ), Jase, Zally (was he ever gone? :P), Grouch, Ru, polo, Del Boy, Dino, Brightside, Ton, NightFall Z, Dark Magician, ccdart, Shadow X, Schutzy, Mason, Xena, Darth, vlame, Slim, mushindo, Raiun, Aadon, Gnafu, Zareen, Jimmy, Prude, nek, Paul, MoG, PH, pkt, Lee, Strongbad with friends and Theo (think I saw him yesterday :P). Probably missed someone. Meh. :shrug:
As far as the Best Thread Starter goes people seem to think that Milady (6) knows what she's doing despite that there tits and vagina business. I'll tell you, back in ancient China people used to serve Liu Bei their wives for supper, and oh how he cried with gratitude. Prime Minister Cao even sent the murderers gold, silk and presumably new concubines to kill. Good times. Gare (5) finished closely behind, and I failed to get mentioned at all despite having won this thing for two years running. It won't be happening again, folks, I'll tell you that much.
The Worst Thread Starters: are Lizard (7) and Luffy/Jack Spicer (6). I don't really know what to say.
And, finally, the Favourite Overall Forumer, or the MOTY if you will: She's been mentioned before, she's the most awesome being ever and she'll kick your ass if you say something bad about pickles because she loves them (do note: I made that last part up completely. I don't think she's violent at all. Do also note: Implying that the pickle part was true is funny. If you don't think so I hate you), it's Elin (7)! You'll probably get a free t-shirt from LOLSNIPERWOLFLOL. Eh he. Cosmic, Cookies, Milady (4), Gare, Ray and myself (3) are alright.
Now leave me the fuck alone until December! :chinese:
