Manliness through time... and video games

http://www.segabastard.com/features/timeline.html

Read and laugh. Great read. Especially what he said about the Gamecube. :D

i'll admit, it is pretty good reading. I never really thought about the handle being on the ass though :wacko:

:rofl: OMG...breathe..remember to breathe. I don't quite agree with the idea, but I couldn't stop laughing, especially about the Max Payne thing.

How utterly boring. @_@

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Originally Posted by Cyberxion

How utterly boring. @_@

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Ya, and he totally forgot about Contra III being on the SNES.

.......... 1997 -

Final Fantasy VII is released, which now makes it okay for nerds to cry while playing video games. That's right, a video game character's death has nerds sobbing. The resultant outpouring of gay RPGs and the tears they bring will be the beginning of the end for the manliness of videogames.


lmao

Max Payne takes a manly concept like shooting in bullet time and wusses it up with all sorts of bullshit story interruptions. Max, his face constantly distorted as if shitting turds of pure iron, becomes possibly the biggest wuss to ever dive in the air and kill 8 people before landing. The missed potential in the title is off the charts.
omfg, turds of iron :lol

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Originally Posted by Cyberxion

How utterly boring. @_@

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I'm happy not to be the only one seeing that as pure intellectual masturbation.

:|

I thought it was pretty funny. The FF7 and FF8 bit was hilarious. Especially that picture with those nerds dressing up. Hilarious...

How come wearing spandex, latex or leather makes you not manly? I have leather shoes and leather gloves as well as spandex underwear, and i'm probably more manly that all of you!

Funny reading, though pretty pointless. A bit like my posts. I find them funny, i know they're pointless, but whatever.

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Originally Posted by polobunny

How come wearing spandex, latex or leather makes you not manly? I have leather shoes and leather gloves as well as spandex underwear, and i'm probably more manly that all of you!

Funny reading, though pretty pointless. A bit like my posts. I find them funny, i know they're pointless, but whatever.

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:wacko: Well, at least one of us finds them funny. :lol

I smiled. Then I laughed when I saw ". . .turds of pure iron. . ." mainly because that's what I was thinking ever since I first saw that game. I swear, dude has a case of constipation man has never known beforehand.

Wow, that was a shitty webpage.
IMO of course

Some people just don't appreciate a good read... Lemme guess: Y'all love FFVIII, right...? :lol

I know Ted does... :wacko: :x

^5 Ru for uncovering the truth behind the haters. :wacko:

Yeah, good catch. The article is rad for sure.

lol the gc being purple makes it unmanly in a gay teletubby way :) not to mention the ass-handle. oh crusher, you must have wanted to choke whoever wrote all of that up when they put down MGS like that and place shitter cell so high up :P

Okay that dude was retarded. Think about it. "Duke Nukem's reputation was washed away because of shitty games." That wasnt a direct quote but it was pretty close. He meant Doom. WTF! Doom was the main reason I got into videogames. One of my favorite games of all time and I hear from someone that it was crappy. That came as a shock to me. Then where he says that nerds cry about the death of a character, that was funny I admit that but if you got into the story and to see a good person die right there would really get to you. Ive met many people that dont play video games and yet watched a person play FF because they were like a movie to them and to see Aeris go was a heartbreaking experience to them. So this is for the guy who made that

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Originally Posted by BiggySmall

Okay that dude was retarded. Think about it. "Duke Nukem's reputation was washed away because of shitty games." That wasnt a direct quote but it was pretty close. He meant Doom. WTF! Doom was the main reason I got into videogames. One of my favorite games of all time and I hear from someone that it was crappy. That came as a shock to me.

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Actually, Doom came before Duke Nukem 3D. He was referring to the crappy sequals to Duke Nukem (most people haven't heard of them because they....well suck). Look around a bit and you may find some sequals to DN, but most have been censored or cut down on, which really kills the whole coolness of the games. Plus, they didn't update Duke much. He needs new catchphrases which aren't ripped from Evil Dead, and maybe something a little more action packed than some of the games he's been in lately. he just sort of became a lame character who is now overlooked simply because people have grown tired of him and he doesn't have anything new to offer gamers.

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Originally Posted by Mikey

. oh crusher, you must have wanted to choke whoever wrote all of that up when they put down MGS like that and place shitter cell so high up :P

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Shitter Cell? I resent that, that game made Metal Gear Crap look like....well crap. That game sucked massively. I hate Metal Gear. Hideo was a lame Hack writer who couldn't direct his way out of a wet paper bag. Sam Fisher can kick Snake's ass and still beat Raiden to death before he can call Snake's Boyfriend Otacon for backup. Worst game ever. I hope Metal Gear 4 goes to the Revolution that way nobody will buy it and I don't have to put up with n00bs telling me that I need that POS game. Snake is a geezer now, you hear? Yeah now it's going to be Metal Gear Semi-fluid since he can't chew solids no more. I oughta smack anyone who likes that series over Splinter Cell. Tom Clancy is god and PWNS Konami and Hideo. not to mention CastleVania while I'm at it.

















:lol Just kidding I like Metal Gear and CV, they are much better than Splinter Cell. I just thought I'd mess with you all by saying they sucked. Now let's watch as people who don't read this part post about how dumb I am.

biggy, you liked the 1st doom? i hated it. then again, i played it waaay after its initial release so of course i'd find doom to be horribly disgusting. and i don't consider myself a nerd just cuz i teared when aeris was killed. i mean, who's really the nerd? someone who tears and shows emotion at the death of a character involved in a good storyline, or someone who bothers to type up the history of manliness in video games? O_O and omega...you bastard :) i was gonna let you have it as i'm sure crusher would have also lol

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Originally Posted by Omega Weapon

Actually, Doom came before Duke Nukem 3D. He was referring to the crappy sequals to Duke Nukem (most people haven't heard of them because they....well suck). Look around a bit and you may find some sequals to DN, but most have been censored or cut down on, which really kills the whole coolness of the games. Plus, they didn't update Duke much. He needs new catchphrases which aren't ripped from Evil Dead, and maybe something a little more action packed than some of the games he's been in lately. he just sort of became a lame character who is now overlooked simply because people have grown tired of him and he doesn't have anything new to offer gamers.



Shitter Cell? I resent that, that game made Metal Gear Crap look like....well crap. That game sucked massively. I hate Metal Gear. Hideo was a lame Hack writer who couldn't direct his way out of a wet paper bag. Sam Fisher can kick Snake's ass and still beat Raiden to death before he can call Snake's Boyfriend Otacon for backup. Worst game ever. I hope Metal Gear 4 goes to the Revolution that way nobody will buy it and I don't have to put up with n00bs telling me that I need that POS game. Snake is a geezer now, you hear? Yeah now it's going to be Metal Gear Semi-fluid since he can't chew solids no more. I oughta smack anyone who likes that series over Splinter Cell. Tom Clancy is god and PWNS Konami and Hideo. not to mention CastleVania while I'm at it.

















:lol Just kidding I like Metal Gear and CV, they are much better than Splinter Cell. I just thought I'd mess with you all by saying they sucked. Now let's watch as people who don't read this part post about how dumb I am.

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Man I was so close of banning you. :P

lmao@crusher.

Errr...I actually didn't smile a single time. I could do so much better myself.

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Originally Posted by Elmdo�

Errr...I actually didn't smile a single time. I could do so much better myself.

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This coming from you, you fucking better. We ALL know that you can do so much better, so DO IT!

Remove your lips from Elmdors ass, and do it quickly. :P

You're a moderator for fuck's sake. Stop pandering. :D

lol....wow. not a mod anymore and yet you're still going strong :)

Yeah, I'm overstepping my bounds, aint I? :evilgrin:






I'm bound to get banned any time now. @_@ :P

what? for telling it how it is?? you speak nonsense. :P

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Originally Posted by Evil Ted

Remove your lips from Elmdors ass, and do it quickly. :P

You're a moderator for fuck's sake. Stop pandering. :D

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:( You've seen through me that fast, huh?

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Originally Posted by Omega Weapon

Shitter Cell? I resent that, that game made Metal Gear Crap look like....well crap. That game sucked massively. I hate Metal Gear. Hideo was a lame Hack writer who couldn't direct his way out of a wet paper bag. Sam Fisher can kick Snake's ass and still beat Raiden to death before he can call Snake's Boyfriend Otacon for backup. Worst game ever. I hope Metal Gear 4 goes to the Revolution that way nobody will buy it and I don't have to put up with n00bs telling me that I need that POS game. Snake is a geezer now, you hear? Yeah now it's going to be Metal Gear Semi-fluid since he can't chew solids no more. I oughta smack anyone who likes that series over Splinter Cell. Tom Clancy is god and PWNS Konami and Hideo. not to mention CastleVania while I'm at it.

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TOTALLY not a fanboy.

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Originally Posted by Hijuda

TOTALLY not a fanboy.

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I think you missed that last part. Yeah, missed by a LONG shot. Go back and re-read that post.

that was total BULLSHIT thinking Manliness=Violence

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Originally Posted by brit

I think you missed that last part. Yeah, missed by a LONG shot. Go back and re-read that post.

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You're right. I totally didn't miss it on purpose to add to the pointlessness and comic effect of my post.

Anyway, onto the article:
The person who wrote that was probably some 13 year old confused about his sexuality, so then writing an article about manliness to make himself feel manly and grow hair on his chest. Or something like that.

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Originally Posted by Tsukiyomi

that was total BULLSHIT thinking Manliness=Violence

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Well, last I heard, manliness wasn't about picking flowers and crying over some dead fictional character...

Manliness is about taking crap anyway it comes and asking for seconds... ;)

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Originally Posted by some dude

Actually, Doom came before Duke Nukem 3D. He was referring to the crappy sequals to Duke Nukem (most people haven't heard of them because they....well suck). Look around a bit and you may find some sequals to DN, but most have been censored or cut down on, which really kills the whole coolness of the games. Plus, they didn't update Duke much. He needs new catchphrases which aren't ripped from Evil Dead, and maybe something a little more action packed than some of the games he's been in lately. he just sort of became a lame character who is now overlooked simply because people have grown tired of him and he doesn't have anything new to offer gamers.

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Actually, I think Zero Hour was pretty nice... :wacko:

It's an EUROCOM game, it HAS to be nice... :P

But yeah, still waiting for DK:Forever... XD

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Originally Posted by Ms. Charlotte

Well, last I heard, manliness wasn't about picking flowers and crying over some dead fictional character...

Manliness is about taking crap anyway it comes and asking for seconds... ;)


Actually, I think Zero Hour was pretty nice... :wacko:

It's an EUROCOM game, it HAS to be nice... :P

But yeah, still waiting for DK:Forever... XD

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Keep dreaming, DN:Forever will be out just in time for your grandchildren's high school graduation at the rate they are going. DN:Zero Hour was alright, but I really don't think it was nearly as good as 3D.

Rumor: Duke Nukem Forever will be one of the launch titles for the highly anticipated next-gen game console the Phantom, "soon" available in stores. Blizzard have also announced support for the Phantom, and expect to release Star Craft: Ghost sometime during the next 50 years.

Crusher, you just made another funny. Congrats... ;)

Omega, you dumbass!! It's not "DK", it's "DN"... :wacko:

OMG I'M ON A ROLL! Too much Katamari Damacy, I tell you. Thanks. :wacko:

I'm still anticipating Duke Nukem Forever though. ;(

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Originally Posted by Ms. Charlotte

Crusher, you just made another funny. Congrats... ;)

Omega, you dumbass!! It's not "DK", it's "DN"... :wacko:

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oh sorry, I can't remember the name of every lame character that comes along.

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Originally Posted by Crusher

I'm still anticipating Duke Nukem Forever though. ;(

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And you shall continue to anticipate Forever. (look closely for the pun)

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Originally Posted by Omega Weapon

And you shall continue to anticipate Forever. (look closely for the pun)

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oh noes i need teh glasses :eyeball: