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My wife had a miscarrige last night. She was only 4 weeks pregnant and only a small handful of people know that she was pregnant (not including my parents). We are stationed about 1500 miles away from my family, so there isn't much chance in them ever finding out about it, but the wifey still wants me to tell them. My feeling is that it would be burdoning them with unnecessary pain. What do you think I should do?
I'm really sorry about your loss. I think the stat is that 25% of pregnancies end up in miscarriage and a majority of that is before the 12th week. I would say it's up to the couple and I feel that both of you have just been in a shock and shouldn't make rash decisions. My advice would be to wait a little bit when the shock and panic has worn off and discuss it then. Also, it depends on your parents too, would they be emotionally supportive after hearing this news?
Best of luck to you both
Very strange subject to see on this site, and first off i want to say sorry for your loss and i know sorta how you feel.
NOW. Everybodys situation is different but in my opinion i think it would be best to let your family know whtas going on. The reason your wife may want to tell your parents is for some emotional support (even though she may not admit it).
As for burdening your family, well thats what family is for. You need trust in a family unit, and what would happen if a month or a year from now they found out what had happened? Even though you say you are thousands of miles away and they would never find out, do you really wanna keep that sorta news from them.
Im sorry to say but tragedies can bring familys closer together and being honest, truthful or up front with your faraway family may be the best thing.
Saying that i dont know what sort of reletionship you have with your parents. Do you get on fine? Have they always been there for you? or where they like my parents and really dont give a shit about anyone but themselves.
In the end all you can do is go with your heart and i dont think anyone can make a decision like that for you. Talk to your wife, ask reasons about why you should tell or keep a secret that in my opinion, would be a mistake to keep.
I hope you get it all sorted dude, and take care in this hard time.
Thank you guys so much i find your posts to be wise. I know that this is a strange medium for this depressing subject matter, but I feel that the semi anamosity helps me talk about this. Thank you so much for reading this thread and responding, it really does mean alot to me.
Sorry to hear bub. I agree you should tell them, but only when you feel ready to do so. Especially since you're so far away, they should be kept up with news good or bad :nod:
And don't worry about the topic, the only thing that's frowned upon are religious ones.
Oh and animosity means something very different from what I think you were trying to say :P
Wow, I feel very silly now. lol Oh well I guess I'm showing off my awesome Louisiana high school education. Hopfully it's understood that I meant that I like the fact that I remain somewhat anomymous here. I'm not even gunna edit my previous post besause it makes me smile.
lol. Good man. Oh and by the way whe i said a very strange post i didnt mean it as a bad thing. (Im talking to you pixie :nyah: lol.
Sorry for your loss. Sucks that something like that happens.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pixie
Inconceivable!
On topic, parents are smart in a cruel, soulless kind of way. That's why life is more fun when you are away from them.
Do tell them once you've finally calmed down. Wait. Not forever, not too long, just when you think you've assumed it.
And be sure to tell them that you were planning to tell them about your child but couldn't do it before it happened. It will save you from some disgusts.
Thank you, all of you. I did tell my parents and it made me feel alot better about the situation. Im glad this thread gave me the courage to tell them. You guys are awesome.
Glad you made a decision and that you are happy with the outcome dude, May you have a great future with you wife and all the luck in the world with your life.
glad everything worked out with your parents, hope everything gets better for you!Quote:
Originally Posted by AMNVanNess
i know how hard this situation is me and my wife to be went through it i am glad you told them best of luck and love to you and your wife