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You come across a better flow of cash when your bank's sprinkler systems break and flood the building, causing the vault to break for some reason that I don't want to bother trying to explain. However, while you're picking up more money than you’ve ever had in your entire life and stuffing it into your various orifices, the rush of water carries you outside and deposits you into the street, where you're hit by a giant mutant California Condor.
I wish I had a suave mustache.
EDIT: Damnit Elm.
You're at a month-long hip-hop festival, where you have lots of sex with various people. Then you come down with a severe cold and die...when you, your brain addled by the cold, decide it would be a good idea to stick your penis into a light-socket and electrocute yourself.
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Last edited by Cyberxion : 6th-April-2009 at 20:33.
You get that suave mustache only to be filled with an endless itch on your uppler lip.
I wish I had new music to listen to.
All music is eradicated save for collaborations between Bjork and Billy Ray Cyrus. So you get your new music, and soon afterward you get a shotgun. You put the barrel into your mouth and pull the trigger. Only thing is, you forgot to load it, dumbass. So you cut your wrists with the paper your wrote your crazed suicide note on, and eventually you bleed to death. Not because the cuts were severe, but because it turns out that you're a hemophiliac.
I wish that I had an eloquent command of the English language.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cosmic
I wish to win the lottery.
You win the lottery! Unfortunately it's a death lottery. See, the folks in charge recently instated a lottery that they will run every few months starting today, the winner of which will be given up as a sacrifice to the hungry dragon that lives on the outskirts of your town in order to keep it from going on a rampage and killing you all. Lucky you!
So hey, at least you're something of a hero, if an unwilling one.
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Last edited by Cyberxion : 6th-April-2009 at 20:45.
I wish that I had an eloquent command of the English language.
You become THE master of the English language, but you are also driven insane by the number of grammar nazi's that try to top you. You are forced to shoot down the grammar nazis' attacks as you are THE master, however for every one you kill, 10 more take their place...
You answer an ad in the paper by what appears to be Google. Upon going to the address listed in the ad for the purpose of being interviewed, you quickly find out that Google is not the name of the company you'll be working for. Instead, it's the name of the spiked bat that the guy who placed the ad will be raping you with.
He has set electronic locks on the doors, and so you have no chance of escaping. Resigned to your fate, you close your eyes. A painful sensation seems to rip your insides apart, but the reality of what's happening to you is even worse. I mean hell, the dude even went right through your pants! The last thing you see before you die of the shock of being raped in such a savage fashion is his big hairy balls. The dude is totally tea-bagging you as the sweet caress of oblivion claims you forevermore.
I wish, I wish, I hadn't killed that fish.
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Last edited by Cyberxion : 6th-April-2009 at 21:37.
Reason: Fucking typo!
The fish lived, but unfortunately for you, it squealed to PETA. Your front lawn is now crawling with angry militant vegans, three quarters of this year's Warped Tour lineup, and a certain Ms. Pamela Anderson whom elects to thwart your plans for further acts of animal cruelty by imprisoning you deep inside her gaping maw of a vagina. It happens so quickly that you're overcome by a sudden rush of euphoria as all of your pubescent fantasies come drifting back like dreams of a long lost summer day. "But wait!", you think to yourself whilst trying to regain your mental faculties. "Doesn't she have Hepatitis C or something?" Yes, yes she does. And now you do too. Sorry!
The fish lived, but unfortunately for you, it squealed to PETA. Your front lawn is now crawling with angry militant vegans, three quarters of this year's Warped Tour lineup and a certain Ms. Pamela Anderson, whom elects to thwart your plans for further acts of animal cruelty by imprisoning you deep inside her gaping maw of a vagina. It all happens so quickly that you're overcome by a sudden rush of euhoria as your pubescent fantasies coming drifting back to you like dreams of a summer day. "But wait!", you think to yourself whilst trying to regain your mental faculties. "Doesn't she have Hepatitis C now?" Yes, yes she does. And now you do too.
"I Wanna Be A Bear".
You become a bear, and catch some salmon, but then a fisherman challenges you to a fight for the fish. You lose the fight, and realise you aren't fit to wear that uniform.
All the hate from the world is removed, however since people can no longer hate each other they become violently angry when they see each other for no reason, especially at you for taking away their ability to hate each other. Enjoy your angry but not hateful sodomy
I wish for self healing abilities similar to Wolverine's
You are granted that ability, but soon after you are crushed by a meteor. That's when you find out that the healing ability can't mend broken bones. You live out the rest of eternity in extreme pain. Also, that guy teabags you again.
I wish that I had a lifetime supply of Reece's Peanut-butter cups.
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Last edited by Cyberxion : 7th-April-2009 at 02:58.
You are granted that ability, but soon after you are crushed by a meteor. That's when you find out that the healing ability can't mend broken bones. You live out the rest of eternity in extreme pain. Also, that guy teabags you again.
I wish that I had a lifetime supply of Reece's Peanut-butter cups.
You get your wish, but they're made with the salmonella infected peanut butter. You get 3 cups, since after you eat them, you won't live long.
He stops teabagging you... but he decides to ram his cock inside your mouth. He goes so rough with you that you almost choke with his dick, the force of entry breaks your teeth and jaw. Then the sheer massiveness of the 14x4 inch monster he calls cock breaks your vocal chords. And after all this nightmare, when you think that all has ended with your mouth bloodlied and filled with cum, he goes for the ass... again.
And bloodied and beaten you realize that you may scream with all your might... but no one will hear you, as he pounds your butt to the depths of Hell. You will not live. And you have lost all dignity. In the ass.
You're rich, but instead of money, your head is rich with lice. Nothing you do gets rid of the lice, and so nobody will come near you. You're eventually put in a plastic bubble, where you'll live out the rest of your life.
Unfortunately the rest of your life amounts to ten minutes, as soon after being put in the bubble, Earth is invaded by giant alien golfers. They spot you and mistake your bubble for a fancy golf-ball. One them takes a whack at you with his giant 9-iron, and the impact turns your body into a meaty red mess.
I wish I could come up with better ideas for this thread.
You come up with the best wishes and corruptions that anyone's mind could possibly think up. But now that there are no more good idea's for this thread, it quickly dies and is never posted in again.
Fall Down
Asteroids
Chopper Challenge
Alien Clones
Helicopter
Disco Racer
Chicken Attack
Contra
Hybrid Mode
