Actually I would shoot them before they even turned into the neighborhood.
I'd sit them down and settle our differences over a nice game of Trivial Pursuit.
I would torture and maim the fool who dares disturb my lazy time, then sew a no trespassing sign on his chest and kick him out on the edge of the city lines.
Then call the cops to report a trespasser.
"I am... Sheik. One of the last of the Sheikah tribe..."
I'd hide my kids, hide my wife, and hide my husband, 'cause they're rapin' errybody out here.
In all seriousness, I live in a tiny appartment with nowhere to hide, so I guess I'd just tell them to take what they wanted, and hope that they didn't get violent?