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Thread: Dumbest Thing You Ever Read/Heard?

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    Default Dumbest Thing You Ever Read/Heard?

    I've already won.

    Quote Originally Posted by The Sweaty-palmed Player
    Quote Originally Posted by Goremarr
    The child was already born, so the two men aren't creating another child. They are taking care of an existing child who could otherwise be living in the incredibly wonderful world of foster-care or dead in an alley somewhere.
    Is that really their reason, though?

    Or are they just trying to make a statement with it?

    What statement? That "homosexuals trump heterosexuals in everything". In this case, that they would do a better job of parenting; that they'd make better fathers/men compared to those deadbeat "straights". All the while, conditioning heteros to be unsuitable parents and leaders through the powerful influence of entertainment media. It's a fucking conspiracy. It's part of their homosexual agenda.

    Anyway, let's all just hope that every male homosexual couple would only be interested in adopting little girls. I'd rather that male children die with more dignity of starvation in some alley somewhere than suffer the same fate as Jesse Dirkhissing...
    I dare you to match idiocy on this scale.

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    Obligatory Copy Pasta.
    Spoiler warning:
    DOOM: Repercussions of Evil

    John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
    John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
    Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS"
    There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons. "This is Joson" the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!"
    So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
    "HE GOING TO KILL US" said the demons
    "I will shoot at him" said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
    "No! I must kill the demons" he shouted
    The radio said "No, John. You are the demons"
    And then John was a zombie.

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    Default

    everything on fox news. it blows my mind

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    Everything on Eventhubs.

    Rage city.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shareware View Post
    Everything on Eventhubs.

    Rage city.
    Ah, you know Shafty, RPG and Red (or Un-pro).

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    I present to you the often-imitated, yet rarely-rivalled, seminal work of the genre, My Immortal, that most unique work of Harry Potter fanfiction that has received mass Internet attention. Starring Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way, the goffik (sic) seventh-year Slytherin who draws attention no matter where she goes, including that of the dreaded Vlodemort (sic), Dumblydore (sic), and Vampire, and must rely on her goffik and Stanist (sic) friends, as well as Drako (sic) Malfoy. This is truly a work that deserves to stand beside such masterpieces as The Eye of Argon (or a more legible version here, though that loses some of the impact), Atlanta Nights (with link to manuscript), and Naked Came the Stranger. A sample chapter...

    Spoiler warning:
    Chapter 22.
    All day everyone talked about the Misery of Magic. Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin so I opened the door. I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas. Then I gasped.

    Standing in front of me where………………. B;loody Mary, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Dracula and Willow!

    I opened my crimson eyes. Willow was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she wart a black poofy skirt wit lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top. Vampire was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Draco was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee Gerard Way, and almost as fucking sexy. Vampire looked like Joel Madden. B’loody Mary was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage with a white apron that said ‘bich’ and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once. Darkness (who is Jenny) was there too. She was weaving a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Crab and Goyle. It turns out that Darkness, Diabolo, Crab and Goyle’s dad was a vampire. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor. He had raped them and stuff before too. They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism.

    “OMFG” I yielded as I jumped up. “Why the fuck are u all here?”

    “Enoby something is really fucked up.” Draco said.

    “OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first.” I shouted angrily.

    “It’s all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so fucking beautiful.” Draco said in a sexy voice.

    “Oh all right.” I said smiling. “But you have to tell me why your being all erective.”

    “I will I will.” he said.

    So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation. Then I came. We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow. A fucking prep called Britney from Griffindoor was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her. Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork. Cornelia Fudged was there shouting at Dumbledore. Doris Rumbridge was there too.

    “THIS CANNOT BE!” she shouted angrily. “THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!”

    “THE BARK LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!” yelled Cornelia Fudge.

    “YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!” yelled Rumbridge. “YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!”

    “Very well.” Dumbledore said angrily. “Butt we cannot do this. We can’t close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort and she is in the school. And her name is………………………………………… ………………………..Enony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way.”

    Draco, Crab, Goyle, Darkness, Willow, Vampire and B’loody Mary looked at each other………I gasped.
    Last edited by Mistral; 5th-March-2011 at 05:47.

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    This just raises the question of "Mistral reads Harry Potter fanfiction?"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kermit Da Frog View Post
    This just raises the question of "Mistral reads Harry Potter fanfiction?"
    Could be possible she was just watching this:

    http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/bt/...e/15170-ep012a

    Part one of four!

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    Everything Charlie Sheen says after getting "sober"

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    Maybe not the absolute dumbest thing I've heard, but one story always comes to mind........
    The Chinese kid that drank petrol (also known as gasoline) for several years.Apparently he wanted to be like Optimus Prime........even though transformers don't actually drink petrol anyway.
    He was diagnosed with a "psychological dependence" on the stuff when he was taken to hospital.
    End result? decreased mental capacity.

    Now that's one Asian that won't be doing well in mathematics :/

    Spoiler warning:

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    People calling Gurren Lagann a good anime.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Grover View Post
    Everything Charlie Sheen says after getting "sober"
    Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.

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    The dumbest thing i've ever heard came out of my space cadet of a sister's mouth. It went like this:

    ME: So you got a new laptop to replace your old one huh? That's cool. How much did it cost you?
    HER: $1000.
    ME: How big is your hard drive?
    HER: I don't know.
    ME: How much memory do you have?
    HER: I don't know.
    ME: .......
    ME: How fast is the processor? What kind is it?
    HER: ........I don't know and I don't wanna know! I only bought it because it was pink and it looked pretty. And looked like it was fast!
    ME:

    I'm pretty sure everyone on this forum already knows this... but - WHEN THEY ARE NEW, THEY ALL LOOK FAST! I have no idea if she actually upgraded from what she had in the first place.... and neither does she!

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