Make yourself look like a twat 2006!

[D]

With the new year now upon Europe and Asia, and fast approaching the Americas it is only right that there should be a new competition to decide who is indeed the biggest twat of all.

Since its creation back in 2002, the twat thread has seen many social outcasts and utterly hideous people compete in order to win the coveted title of Emuparadise Twat. The winners elation is usually short lived though, when their friends find out that they've been participating in such a competition and prompty and indefinitely sever any communications with the champion. That scenario is only possible of course, if the victor has any friends, which is unlikely in itself.

Ultimately, posting in here removes all the rights you never held in the first place, and shatters your dignity before urinating on the remains and feeding it to the third world. Are you prepared for it? The winner gets an undisclosed sum of money and a photo shoot audition to star as a mangled corpse in the show of your choice.

Why then, you ask, have I not posted a picture of myself. The simple reason behind that is that I won the very first twat competition ever made, with a succession of photographs depicting me eating various computer peripherals, such as a keyboard, mouse and even a CD. Have no fears though, I shall compete when I'm sober enough to operate a digital camera, which, unfortunately is not at this moment in time.

My final words are, have fun and make some good pictures so I can print them out everywhere for people to take the piss out of.

Contenders, ready?
Gladiators, ready?

3...2...1... (Scotsman blows the whistle)

Let battle commence!

[Sprung]

the best i can do right now is a drunk old guy. and no camera.

[D]

the best i can do right now is a drunk old guy. and no camera.

I'm just drunk bloke with camera which he can't be arsed to use. TOMORROW, one says. I just wanted to make my 10,000th post a good'un. Innit.

One thing I do suggest though is this:

[Sprung]

I tried to get my camera working recently. i think the part that sees is dead. It takes pretty pictures of blackness which is cool

[Monkey D.]

if only I had a digital camera.

[Anonymous]

YAHOO!

a picture of me getting shitfaced is up and coming.

[Mikey_]

another twat thread already?

[Evans]

Yes. Dave felt the need to screw the other one. Ego, I believe they call it.

[Mikey_]

hmmm. i'm sure this one'll be just as good

[Evans]

Twats will be twats, no matter where they are viewed. Still, it's ego. And alcohol.

[KnightofNachos]

another twat thread already?

Dave made the original twat thread, ergo he can make as many twat threads as he wants. Give 'em hell, Dave.

[Mikey_]

Dave made the original twat thread

so?

[Evans]

Dave made the original twat thread, ergo he can make as many twat threads as he wants. Give 'em hell, Dave.

It would be much more easier to understand you if you'd remove your lips from his ass. That cavernous tone is ruining it.

What's "it"?



And the "he made the original one" "argument" is rather poor.

You can find better.

[Mikey_]

It would be much more easier to understand you if you'd remove your lips from his ass. That cavernous tone is ruining it.

What's "it"?



And the "he made the original one" "argument" is rather poor.

You can find better.

[KnightofNachos]

so?

So read the rest of that post. I know it's hard for you to go long before pouncing on my posts, but it was only two sentences long.

blah blah blah...

Nope. Sorry. Try again.

Wow, a post comprised entirely of a smiley. It's actually more intelligible than any other post of yours.