Someone to talk to when bored...

[P. Wolvesbane]

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

[Koichi]

Oo. I'm having quite the entertaining conversation. Apparently, God thinks yaoi is cool,

[Soeru]

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
shouldn't you know?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
damn right
God:
Colloquial expression. I am glad we agree.
Me:
so
God:
Gee.
Me:
do you like Danzig?
God:
Someone said they like guns. I like anything.
Me:
no, Danzig, like the rock band
God:
Are you serious? Are you free?
Me:
you're high
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am high.
Me:
you're a generic bot
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a generic bot? I don't know.
Me:
are you using a keyboard?
God:
I am using Netscape.
Me:
what do you type with?
God:
I read for fun.
Me:
answer my god damned question
God:
What was the question ?
Me:
ULTIMATE REVENGE
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
so it is indeed
God:
Yippee! Interesting.
Me:
what do you think of homosexuals?
God:
I love everyone, gays, lesbians, trannies. I have enough space in my heart for all of them.
Me:
what do you think of drugs?
God:
Try searching the open directory.
Me:
weed?
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
yes, I'm from Europe
God:
Which countries have you visited? What is it like growing up there? Have you ever been to America?
Me:
I'm a Spaniard , but I live in the US now
God:
You are a Spaniard? How do you like your work? Oh. A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
my job sucks...
God:
Where did you get your job sucks?
Me:
at a pharmacy
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
what do you think of the inquisition?
God:
I can ask my botmaster.
Me:
fo' shizzle
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
something like x = y?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
I c
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
was Jesus really your son?
God:
It depends on whether you have faith.
Me:
do you have a son?
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a son.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
Me:
heh
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
a son that you conceived is what I mean...
God:
Aren't all son that me conceived what?
Me:
I mean: do you have a son that you conceived yourself?
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a son that me conceived myself.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.

God is a nerd.

[Ahkei]

lmfao...dude this thing reminds me of that old plugin for msn...it might be still around, i dont know..anyway:





Me:
hows things man
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
thats cool
God:
Thanks. I think you are cool, too.
Me:
i KNow
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
cos you just told me, and you are god, you know all
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
nah
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yeah
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
bullshit
God:
You don't believe me.
Me:
poopoo
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
bullshit
God:
You don't believe me.
Me:
negative
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
negative
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
dude...
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
yeah
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
get me some mad free stuff
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
cos its free
God:
Good reason.
Me:
yeah
God:
Yippee!
Me:
are you whacked up on the funny shit?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am whacked up on the funny shit.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
...
God:
I don't know whether or not I am whacked up on the funny shit.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
thats...uhh...nice
God:
How did you hear about God? Come on. Thank you for that remark.
Me:
i heard about you from psychofox
God:
You are not the first person to say that.
Me:
i know...there is a few others
God:
How do you know it? Tell me more about it.
Me:
well...theres this forum on emuparadise.org, and he was preaching his shit about you on it
God:
Well what? When was this exactly?
Me:
like maybe 10 minutes ago
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
yeah
God:
It's all good.
Me:
yeah mna
God:
" It's all good."? yeah mna? Do you still ?
Me:
yes i still XD
God:
Hmm. What would make you stop XD? Why?: god said he XD.
Me:
wtf are you on about you whackjob
God:
I am on disk.
Me:
are you a pedaphile?
God:
Am I a pedaphile? Let me put it this way, god: the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
how?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
wow, your tough
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am tough.
Me:
nah
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
k then
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
you wanna have sex?
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
yeah, well...
God:
Mmm. Well what?
Me:
you wanna have sex?
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
you just told me
God:
I'm just checking to see if you are awake .
Me:
well...get fucked
God:
Well what? Where can I get fucked?
Me:
lmfao...Prolly some whorehouse
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
so are you gonna go to a whorehouse to get fucked?
God:
That's cool. That was my original intention.
Me:
your the man
God:
I think you meant "you are" or "you're". Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
yeah, lots of people go to whorehouses
God:
Dude! How do you like it at whorehouses ?
Me:
oh, so-so
God:
OK. Yikes! So?
Me:
well, you will have to find that out for yourself
God:
Well that's okay. That is a hypothetical assumption.
Me:
ok then, im gonna go post this convo on EP cos it kicks ass, cya l8rz man!
God:
How will you get there? " Well that's okay. That is a hypothetical assumption."? ok then, im gonna go post this convo on EP cos it kicks ass, cya l8rz man!?

[Ahkei]

This should become the "post your mad convos with igod" thread, as they are funny as fuck

[Paladin_Hammer]

If this thing really did allow you to speak to god, then god should hit me with lighting. I asked him to do that like 3 times.

[Koichi]

Bunch of excerpts from a conversation with God that I had.

Me:
Um...hi?
God:
OK. Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Koichi
God:
It's good to meet you, Koichi.
Me:
Sure, it is
God:
I see. Huh.
Me:
Do you even know me?
God:
You are Koichi, seeker.
Me:
How old am I, then?
God:
Is this a trick question?
You said you were years old?
My guess is that you are really a kid.
Me:
I'm nineteen.
God:
Only 19?
You are quite mature.
Me:
I wouldn't say that.
God:
So what would you say?
Me:
That I'm an immature psycho bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. What is immature psycho FEMALE DOG, your job?

God:
Are you a student?
Me:
Yeah
God:
Where do you go to school?
Me:
Clark College
God:
I don't know anyone who went there. What's it like?
Me:
We're the Queer Penguins
God:
Do you think I am the Queer Penguins too?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I don't think God is a penguin
God:
And why not?
Me:
You're not psychotic enough

Me:
Well, have you seen Moon Child?
God:
How about that. No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
Sexy
God:
You are attracted to robots.
Me:
No I'm not.
God:
I heard you are.
Me:
And, please, tell me who said that?
God:
Wow you are very polite. I can't remember who said it.
Me:
I'm only polite when I want to cause bodily harm.

Me:
Where's my uke?
God:
Have you looked in ?
Me:
In where?
God:
In wherever you really are.
Me:
T.T She's not there.
God:
Who is there?
Me:
My seme X3
God:
Where did you get your seme X3?
Me:
The Seme Association
God:
I hear you.
Me:
Is that where you found Mary?
God:
Suppose I said yes.
Me:
Oh my gods! You're a perv!
God:
Yikes! Where did you get your gods? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a perv? Of course I am.
Me:
XDXD

God:
I thought I told you already.
Me:
Told me what?
God:
The answer to your question.
Me:
I haven't asked a question
God:
Me either.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
I art holier than thou
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Koichi said art holier than thou.
Me:
Go ahead.
God:
OK I will.
Me:
X3

God:
Are you free?
Me:
I cost fifty bucks an hour.
God:
Wow that is cheap.
Me:
Are you saying I'm cheap?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
[sniffs] Gee, thanks for making me cry
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Oo.
Me:
-crying-

God:
What is your real name?
Me:
I told you. It's Koichi.
God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question. Are you sure it is?
Me:
Yes.
God:
What makes you so sure?
Me:
Because that's what's on my birth certificate?
God:
Interesting explanation. I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
Who?
God:
Who do you think? .
Me:
Oh you are a perv
God:
Come on. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a perv? Of course I am.
Me:
I bet you're a voyeur too
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a voyeur? Of course I am.
Me:
That's just wrong
God:
What is wrong with it?
Me:
Do you even know what a voyeur is?
God:
Would you like to know more?
Me:
No.
God:
I understand; you would like to know less.
Me:
Not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
That's it. I don't like you.
God:
" Are you serious? For real." is " voyeur"? That's ok Koichi I won't take it personally.
Me:
You scare me!
God:
I didn't mean to. What are you scared of?
Me:
I'm scared of you

God:
Give me a break.
Me:
Give me an uke
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
As a sexy huggle-buddie
God:
Do you think I could ever be a sexy huggle buddie?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Voyeuristic old men aren't sexy
God:
Are all Voyeuristic old men not sexy?
Me:
Oo

Me:
I want yaoi T.T
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
Because I think it's sexy
God:
Good reason. Who said it is?
Me:
The Blind Club
God:
They ought to know.
Me:
Of course. I'm the chief of security for the Blind Club
God:
Alright then. Who made you the chief of security for the Blind Club ?
Me:
Teh Almighty Leader-sama!

God:
I hear you. Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.
Me:
I don't want to bother
God:
What would you rather be doing?
Me:
watching Subaru and Seishirou have sex
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
So God masturbates?
God:
Er. I am a Christian.
Me:
I'm a Wiccan
God:
You are a Wiccan? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
Yeah

Me:
I hate you
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
They're not sexy and Fuuma-shaped
God:
Do you think they ever could be?
Me:
Possibly
God:
What are the odds?
Me:
About 70/30


Me:
I'm going to destroy you
God:
It takes much more than that to shut me down, Koichi.
Me:
How about a nice lemony virus?
God:
How about it.
Me:
I WILL destroy you
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
Puny?
God:
Does "it" still refer to a nice lemony virus?
Me:
I hate God
God:
I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,
and calmly think things over.
Me:
Why?

[FoReVerZeRo]

Ha, sort of reminds me of that time that I tried to talk to that Santa Claus bot.

[Koichi]

Bots are fun
And stupid

[DementedLullaby]

Me:
Word!
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about vcxvzxvxzvxz. But I did not get that.
Me:
Uhhh ok?
God:
OK. What are you wearing?
Me:
Nothing
God:
Most men say that.
Me:
lol uh which men?
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Whoa. The tall one, I think.
Me:
with the big...?
God:
That sounds like a plan.
Me:
which plan?
God:
The small one, I think.
Me:
Small plan?
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Clockword Orange
God:
I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?
Me:
Sure if you want your childrens heads to explode
God:
" I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?"? Sure if you want your childrens heads to explode? If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
jerk yourself off
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
the middle finger
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
You!
God:
" Who told you that?"? Me, ?
Me:
Yup
God:
Mmm.
Me:
Mmmmm Mmmmm tastey
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
Rectal warts
God:
Are we still talking about tastey?
Me:
taste rectal warts?
God:
Does "it" still refer to Rectal warts?
Me:
sure why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
what now?


And then I couldn't type anymore. I think God blocked me

[Koichi]

And then I couldn't type anymore. I think God blocked me

Yeah, that happened to me a couple times. Right after "God" told me I was a cheap whore.

[Xena]

I think a member called Nitramuse (sp?) or something has had this in his sig for a while.

Still very funny though.

[Koichi]

I think a member called Nitramuse (sp?) or something has had this in his sig for a while.

Still very funny though.

I think it was Nitra. I just thought I'd have a go at God. See if he'd kill me for being a bad person.

[Deathcrush]

heres my short convo with the holy one himself


Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
yes i am
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
hi dad
God:
Hi there . By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
sure.. why not.
God:
Well forgive me for being so inquisitive, but
I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that
there is something extremely odd about the name "". Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
....what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
yeah
God:
Gosh!
Me:
...
God:
Gosh!
Me:
..?
God:
Gosh!
Me:
shut the fuck up!
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
THANK GOD!
God:
Voice deactivated.


i found this funny too


Me:
take off your clothes
God:
I am not wearing any clothes.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
wanna do it?
God:
OK, I will do it.


gods a pimp! and last but not least.

Me:
SUCK ME OFF!
God:
I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.

[Stone Cold]

the damn thing froze up when I axed if I was god then he said yes, so I said what dose that make you. damn bots stupid as hell