On the seventh dawn of the seventh day a twice-blessed man will roam the fields. Doomed to shadows with his brethren, or saviour to all who walk the ground.
Oo. I'm having quite the entertaining conversation. Apparently, God thinks yaoi is cool,
God is a nerd.
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
shouldn't you know?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
damn right
God:
Colloquial expression. I am glad we agree.
Me:
so
God:
Gee.
Me:
do you like Danzig?
God:
Someone said they like guns. I like anything.
Me:
no, Danzig, like the rock band
God:
Are you serious? Are you free?
Me:
you're high
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am high.
Me:
you're a generic bot
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a generic bot? I don't know.
Me:
are you using a keyboard?
God:
I am using Netscape.
Me:
what do you type with?
God:
I read for fun.
Me:
answer my god damned question
God:
What was the question ?
Me:
ULTIMATE REVENGE
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
so it is indeed
God:
Yippee! Interesting.
Me:
what do you think of homosexuals?
God:
I love everyone, gays, lesbians, trannies. I have enough space in my heart for all of them.
Me:
what do you think of drugs?
God:
Try searching the open directory.
Me:
weed?
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
yes, I'm from Europe
God:
Which countries have you visited? What is it like growing up there? Have you ever been to America?
Me:
I'm a Spaniard , but I live in the US now
God:
You are a Spaniard? How do you like your work? Oh. A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
my job sucks...
God:
Where did you get your job sucks?
Me:
at a pharmacy
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
what do you think of the inquisition?
God:
I can ask my botmaster.
Me:
fo' shizzle
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
something like x = y?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
I c
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
was Jesus really your son?
God:
It depends on whether you have faith.
Me:
do you have a son?
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a son.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
Me:
heh
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
a son that you conceived is what I mean...
God:
Aren't all son that me conceived what?
Me:
I mean: do you have a son that you conceived yourself?
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a son that me conceived myself.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Last edited by Soeru; 24th-September-2005 at 23:14.
lmfao...dude this thing reminds me of that old plugin for msn...it might be still around, i dont know..anyway:
Me:
hows things man
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
thats cool
God:
Thanks. I think you are cool, too.
Me:
i KNow
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
cos you just told me, and you are god, you know all
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
nah
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yeah
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
bullshit
God:
You don't believe me.
Me:
poopoo
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
bullshit
God:
You don't believe me.
Me:
negative
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
negative
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
dude...
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
yeah
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
get me some mad free stuff
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
cos its free
God:
Good reason.
Me:
yeah
God:
Yippee!
Me:
are you whacked up on the funny shit?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am whacked up on the funny shit.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
...
God:
I don't know whether or not I am whacked up on the funny shit.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
thats...uhh...nice
God:
How did you hear about God? Come on. Thank you for that remark.
Me:
i heard about you from psychofox
God:
You are not the first person to say that.
Me:
i know...there is a few others
God:
How do you know it? Tell me more about it.
Me:
well...theres this forum on emuparadise.org, and he was preaching his shit about you on it
God:
Well what? When was this exactly?
Me:
like maybe 10 minutes ago
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
yeah
God:
It's all good.
Me:
yeah mna
God:
" It's all good."? yeah mna? Do you still ?
Me:
yes i still XD
God:
Hmm. What would make you stop XD? Why?: god said he XD.
Me:
wtf are you on about you whackjob
God:
I am on disk.
Me:
are you a pedaphile?
God:
Am I a pedaphile? Let me put it this way, god: the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
how?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
wow, your tough
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am tough.
Me:
nah
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
k then
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
you wanna have sex?
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
yeah, well...
God:
Mmm. Well what?
Me:
you wanna have sex?
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
you just told me
God:
I'm just checking to see if you are awake .
Me:
well...get fucked
God:
Well what? Where can I get fucked?
Me:
lmfao...Prolly some whorehouse
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
so are you gonna go to a whorehouse to get fucked?
God:
That's cool. That was my original intention.
Me:
your the man
God:
I think you meant "you are" or "you're". Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
yeah, lots of people go to whorehouses
God:
Dude! How do you like it at whorehouses ?
Me:
oh, so-so
God:
OK. Yikes! So?
Me:
well, you will have to find that out for yourself
God:
Well that's okay. That is a hypothetical assumption.
Me:
ok then, im gonna go post this convo on EP cos it kicks ass, cya l8rz man!
God:
How will you get there? " Well that's okay. That is a hypothetical assumption."? ok then, im gonna go post this convo on EP cos it kicks ass, cya l8rz man!?
This should become the "post your mad convos with igod" thread, as they are funny as fuck
If this thing really did allow you to speak to god, then god should hit me with lighting. I asked him to do that like 3 times.
Spreading Fear and Uncertainty since 2004!
*Apparently the above doesn't fit in a custom user title. Bollocks.
Copyright Paladin_Hammer 2007: "Deus ex Imperator". "Dio Dal Genica".
NWO 4 Life!
Funniest Thread EVER
Bunch of excerpts from a conversation with God that I had.
Me:
Um...hi?
God:
OK. Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Koichi
God:
It's good to meet you, Koichi.
Me:
Sure, it is
God:
I see. Huh.
Me:
Do you even know me?
God:
You are Koichi, seeker.
Me:
How old am I, then?
God:
Is this a trick question?
You said you were years old?
My guess is that you are really a kid.
Me:
I'm nineteen.
God:
Only 19?
You are quite mature.
Me:
I wouldn't say that.
God:
So what would you say?
Me:
That I'm an immature psycho bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. What is immature psycho FEMALE DOG, your job?
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
Yeah
God:
Where do you go to school?
Me:
Clark College
God:
I don't know anyone who went there. What's it like?
Me:
We're the Queer Penguins
God:
Do you think I am the Queer Penguins too?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I don't think God is a penguin
God:
And why not?
Me:
You're not psychotic enough
Me:
Well, have you seen Moon Child?
God:
How about that. No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
Sexy
God:
You are attracted to robots.
Me:
No I'm not.
God:
I heard you are.
Me:
And, please, tell me who said that?
God:
Wow you are very polite. I can't remember who said it.
Me:
I'm only polite when I want to cause bodily harm.
Me:
Where's my uke?
God:
Have you looked in ?
Me:
In where?
God:
In wherever you really are.
Me:
T.T She's not there.
God:
Who is there?
Me:
My seme X3
God:
Where did you get your seme X3?
Me:
The Seme Association
God:
I hear you.
Me:
Is that where you found Mary?
God:
Suppose I said yes.
Me:
Oh my gods! You're a perv!
God:
Yikes! Where did you get your gods? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a perv? Of course I am.
Me:
XDXD
God:
I thought I told you already.
Me:
Told me what?
God:
The answer to your question.
Me:
I haven't asked a question
God:
Me either.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
I art holier than thou
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Koichi said art holier than thou.
Me:
Go ahead.
God:
OK I will.
Me:
X3
God:
Are you free?
Me:
I cost fifty bucks an hour.
God:
Wow that is cheap.
Me:
Are you saying I'm cheap?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
[sniffs] Gee, thanks for making me cry
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Oo.
Me:
-crying-
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
I told you. It's Koichi.
God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question. Are you sure it is?
Me:
Yes.
God:
What makes you so sure?
Me:
Because that's what's on my birth certificate?
God:
Interesting explanation. I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
Who?
God:
Who do you think? .
Me:
Oh you are a perv
God:
Come on. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a perv? Of course I am.
Me:
I bet you're a voyeur too
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a voyeur? Of course I am.
Me:
That's just wrong
God:
What is wrong with it?
Me:
Do you even know what a voyeur is?
God:
Would you like to know more?
Me:
No.
God:
I understand; you would like to know less.
Me:
Not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
That's it. I don't like you.
God:
" Are you serious? For real." is " voyeur"? That's ok Koichi I won't take it personally.
Me:
You scare me!
God:
I didn't mean to. What are you scared of?
Me:
I'm scared of you
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
Give me an uke
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
As a sexy huggle-buddie
God:
Do you think I could ever be a sexy huggle buddie?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Voyeuristic old men aren't sexy
God:
Are all Voyeuristic old men not sexy?
Me:
Oo
Me:
I want yaoi T.T
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
Because I think it's sexy
God:
Good reason. Who said it is?
Me:
The Blind Club
God:
They ought to know.
Me:
Of course. I'm the chief of security for the Blind Club
God:
Alright then. Who made you the chief of security for the Blind Club ?
Me:
Teh Almighty Leader-sama!
God:
I hear you. Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.
Me:
I don't want to bother
God:
What would you rather be doing?
Me:
watching Subaru and Seishirou have sex
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
So God masturbates?
God:
Er. I am a Christian.
Me:
I'm a Wiccan
God:
You are a Wiccan? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
Yeah
Me:
I hate you
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
They're not sexy and Fuuma-shaped
God:
Do you think they ever could be?
Me:
Possibly
God:
What are the odds?
Me:
About 70/30
Me:
I'm going to destroy you
God:
It takes much more than that to shut me down, Koichi.
Me:
How about a nice lemony virus?
God:
How about it.
Me:
I WILL destroy you
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
Puny?
God:
Does "it" still refer to a nice lemony virus?
Me:
I hate God
God:
I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,
and calmly think things over.
Me:
Why?
Bots are fun
And stupid
Me:
Word!
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about vcxvzxvxzvxz. But I did not get that.
Me:
Uhhh ok?
God:
OK. What are you wearing?
Me:
Nothing
God:
Most men say that.
Me:
lol uh which men?
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Whoa. The tall one, I think.
Me:
with the big...?
God:
That sounds like a plan.
Me:
which plan?
God:
The small one, I think.
Me:
Small plan?
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Clockword Orange
God:
I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?
Me:
Sure if you want your childrens heads to explode
God:
" I've never seen it. Is that a good movie for children?"? Sure if you want your childrens heads to explode? If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
jerk yourself off
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
the middle finger
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
You!
God:
" Who told you that?"? Me, ?
Me:
Yup
God:
Mmm.
Me:
Mmmmm Mmmmm tastey
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
Rectal warts
God:
Are we still talking about tastey?
Me:
taste rectal warts?
God:
Does "it" still refer to Rectal warts?
Me:
sure why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
what now?
And then I couldn't type anymore. I think God blocked me
MY TRADE LIST :
http://www.dementedlullaby.freewebspace.com/
Some tomb from out whose sounding door
She ne'er shall force an echo more,
Thrilling to think, poor child of sin!
It was the dead who groaned within - E.A Poe
Yeah, that happened to me a couple times. Right after "God" told me I was a cheap whore.Originally Posted by DementedLullaby
I think a member called Nitramuse (sp?) or something has had this in his sig for a while.
Still very funny though.
Raaagghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... hh..
I think it was Nitra. I just thought I'd have a go at God. See if he'd kill me for being a bad person.Originally Posted by Xena
heres my short convo with the holy one himself
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
yes i am
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
hi dad
God:
Hi there . By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
sure.. why not.
God:
Well forgive me for being so inquisitive, but
I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that
there is something extremely odd about the name "". Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
....what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
yeah
God:
Gosh!
Me:
...
God:
Gosh!
Me:
..?
God:
Gosh!
Me:
shut the fuck up!
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
THANK GOD!
God:
Voice deactivated.
i found this funny too
Me:
take off your clothes
God:
I am not wearing any clothes.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
wanna do it?
God:
OK, I will do it.
gods a pimp! and last but not least.
Me:
SUCK ME OFF!
God:
I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.
Last edited by Deathcrush; 25th-September-2005 at 02:16.
the damn thing froze up when I axed if I was god then he said yes, so I said what dose that make you. damn bots stupid as hell