An interesting thing I found while surfing around the net...

[J]

Well, I was searching around for new things to read about when I found a rather interesting document about... flirting. Yes, sounds stupid and even I let out a laugh but decided to read it and it is actually interesting and makes sense. I decided that, instead of putting the document I could put it in this thread. It is written by a guy named David DeAngelo. All of you guys who feel like if you are losers in this love thing should read this up. You may find one or another tip that helps you (looks suspiciously at Crusher ) I hope that you find it entertaining but.. it is a long read through!!!
Here it goes:

DATING TIP: How To Flirt And Why
I want to talk about the concept of "flirting", and why
it's SO important that you understand exactly what it is and
how to do it with women.

To begin with, women know what flirting is, and they
respond VERY differently to flirting communication than they
do to typical social communication.

If you understand flirting and sexual tension, you can
begin conversations with women and have them INSTANTLY
feeling ATTRACTION for you.

If you DON'T understand how flirting and sexual tension
work, then you're either going to have to become famous or
make a LOT of money to be successful with women.

I'm going to suggest that you learn how to flirt well,
then do it RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING in your interactions with
women to SET THE RIGHT TONE.

Think of flirting like playing.

Remember when you were a kid and you used to "play fight"
with your friends?

What's the difference between "play" wrestling and "real"
wrestling?

And how do you know the difference when it's happening...
when your friend runs up and pushes you down, then jumps on
you and tries to pin you?

The answer is YOU JUST KNOW. It's obvious to humans (and
other animals, by the way) when someone is "playing" and when
they're serious.

Flirting is similar.

If you start talking to a woman and say "Hi, you're very
pretty. You probably have a boyfriend, right?" in a normal
tone of voice, you're NOT flirting.

On the other hand, if you say "Hi, I realize that you're
probably shy because you get no attention from men... so I
thought I'd come over here and pay attention to you..." it's
OBVIOUS that you're not being serious. This is flirting.

By the way, flirting IS NOT simply telling jokes, or
trying to be "cute".

One of the concepts that I teach is called "Cocky & Funny."

Cocky & Funny is simply a powerful, concentrated way of
flirting and creating sexual tension with a specific kind of
humor.

It's so funny to me how some guys write in because they
"can't see themselves being Cocky & Funny around women"
because they don't want to come across as jerks.

This really cracks me up... because it's obvious to me
that these guys JUST DON'T GET IT.

So let me explain this whole thing a different way...

If you know how to communicate the right way, women will
respond to you RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING with a HIGH LEVEL
of sexual interest and ATTRACTION.

When you know how to incorporate flirting in a Cocky &
Funny way, which is really a form of "adult verbal play",
you tune in to a certain frequency in a woman's mind, and
cause her to go into a very special kind of emotional state.

One of the keys to effective flirting is to "get it". In
other words, you have to actually get out there and practice
so you get a "feel" for how it works.

I think a lot of guys give up when they try a cute line
or technique and a woman responds by saying "You're a loser."
Instead of just realizing that they need more practice or
that the woman might have just been in a bad mood or even
one of those horrible "I don't have a sense of humor" cases,
they take it personally and decide to just have it mean that
they're a failure.

But take my word for it... once you learn how to flirt
effectively and communicate in the language of "adult play"
you WILL SIMPLY NOT BELIEVE how women will respond to you.

Here's an example of some of one of my favorite topics to
"riff on" when flirting... the topic of getting married and
us being in a relationship... and I'll give it to you in the
form of a sample dialogue. Keep in mind, I might have a
conversation like this one with a woman that I just met five
minutes earlier...

Her: "I have a good job, and I make good money"

Me: "Nice. I like that in a woman. Want to get married? We
could leave for Vegas right now and be married in about 4
or 5 hours. I need a woman with money."

Her: <Laughter> "OK, that sounds like a plan"

Me: "But wait a minute... do you think you can support the
both of us on your income? I really want to be a stay at
home husband... you know, keep an eye on the TV and such."

Her: "Oh, no... I won't support you."

Me: "Well, then I'm breaking up with you. It's over between
us. I was going to marry you, then divorce you a week later
and take half your money."

Her: <Laughter> "You can't break up with me! I'm not even
your girlfriend."

Me: "That's all the more reason."


...do you get what's going on here?

I'm taking a normal conversation topic (her job and income)
and redirecting the conversation in a flirtatious, Cocky &
Funny way to create a fun mood and sexual tension (by
suggesting marriage, divorce, and breaking up over her not
supporting me, etc.).

If the above example doesn't make any sense to you, then
take that as a sign that you need to get out and practice
more. Try it on a waitress or two.

When you ask for something and she says "I'm sorry, we
don't have that", just say "OK, this relationship isn't
working out... I'm going to have to break up with you."

In fact, you can say this in just about ANY situation
with ANY woman where she's saying something that you don't
like, and it's funny.

When you communicate like this, you're FLIRTING, you're
TEASING, and you're initiating a DIFFERENT KIND OF
COMMUNICATION than most men initiate.

And as soon as the woman you're talking to "engages" you
in this kind of dialogue, THE GAME IS ON.

There are a LOT of ways you can flirt, and a lot of ways
you can be Cocky & Funny that DON'T REQUIRE WORDS.

If a woman looks at you and raises one eyebrow, look back
at her and do the same... only exaggerate it.

If a woman puts her hand on your arm, look down at it,
then look up at her in a surprised way, then raise your
eyebrows as if you just had a major "ah ha!" realization...
then start smiling and nodding your head as if you just
realized that she wants you. This is a powerful combination
because it's funny, and it exaggerates the meaning in her
touching you.

There are a MILLION ways to flirt like this, but the point
that I'm trying to make is that you NEED TO START DOING IT
RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING OF YOUR INTERACTIONS WITH WOMEN.

It will set off all of your conversations with women on
the right foot, and start a dialogue that creates sexual
tension and ATTRACTION.

If you DON'T learn how to communicate with women like this
you'll have BORING, "NORMAL" conversations that NEVER lead
to sexual tension and ATTRACTION.

Remember, women can tell INSTANTLY whether you're flirting
with them or not. If you are, and you're doing it in a subtle,
charming way, you'll get amazing responses.

One of the keys to flirting and creating ATTRACTION
effectively is projecting confidence and indifference both
in your voice tone and body language as you do it.

And in order to project these things you need to have the
right understanding and BELIEFS about how male/female
ATTRACTION works... and then be able to project them through
your conversation to women.

In my new CD audio series, I explain the most important
beliefs to project, and exactly how to project them so the
woman you're talking to senses INSTANTLY and at an
UNCONSCIOUS level that you know how to communicate on many
levels with her... all through body language, voice tone,
and words.

DATING TIP: What if I'm Not "Her Type"?
***THIS WEEK'S QUESTION***


Dear Dave,

I was very skeptical of your approach, but I have been trying
C & F routine recently and it has been working like a charm.
Your CD is incredible with information that builds on your
book. An example of C & F happened recently. Women always
make comments of my age and how I appear much younger than my
age (i'm in my mid-thirties but appear to be 24-25). Before
reading your book and listening to your CD, I would simply
laugh or say thank you if a woman said I looked a lot younger
than my age. Recently I was out with my friends and this
good-looking woman said the same comment. My response was
"come on, I'm not going to fall for a line that. You women
just want me for my youthful looks". Then I continued busting
on her and left with her e-mail. My friends were all shocked
by my exchange with her and my success.

I have a question though Dave. What if a woman, in the
conversation with you, states she does not like a certain type
of guy; for example she says she likes tall guys but one
happens to be short. Can you give be a couple of examples of
turning a perceived deficit (height, lack of hair, etc) into
Cocky and funny responses?

Thanks a million,

Disciple in Training in D.C.


>>>MY COMMENTS:

First of all, I really enjoy the way you've turned the
issue of looking younger around and framed it as a woman's
pathetic attempt to pick you up and use you.

This is CLASSIC Cocky & Funny, and it does all the right
things... it creates sexual tension, humor, and a challenge
all at the same time.

Very nice.

But the part of your email that I really like is the
QUESTION you've asked.

You're asked:

"What if a woman, in the conversation with you, states she
does not like a certain type of guy; for example she says
she likes tall guys but one happens to be short. Can you
give be a couple of examples of turning a perceived
deficit (height, lack of hair, etc) into Cocky and Funny
responses?"

Here's something that you must remember:

IF YOU BEHAVE AS IF WHAT A WOMAN THINKS OF YOU IS IMPORTANT,
THEN YOU'LL BE VERY LIKELY TO DO SOMETHING TO MAKE HER NOT
BE ATTRACTED TO YOU.

Remember, ATTRACTION isn't a "logical" process. It really
doesn't make very much sense (until you understand how it
works, that is).

Just because a woman SAYS that she doesn't "like" a
certain "type" of guy doesn't mean that she can't feel a
POWERFUL ATTRACTION for a guy of this "type".

Are you with me here?

ATTRACTION is an emotion.

A "type" is a PREFERENCE.

They are TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS.

Here's a good example: Women are universally more
interested in taller men. If you ask a woman what "type"
of "height" ISN'T her type, she'll say something like
"short guys" or "guys who are shorter than me" etc.

I have NEVER met a woman in my entire life who said
"I like shorter guys". Never.

But guess what?

I have at least 4 or 5 friends who are in the 5'2"
to 5'6" range that are UNBELIEVABLE with women. They
ALL date beautiful women who are taller than them.

So what's going on here?

ATTRACTION is what's going on.

So when you ask me how to use a Cocky & Funny line to
turn a "perceived deficit" around, the FIRST thing I have
to say is "Stop thinking of it as a deficit".

First you need to stop caring what a woman thinks of you
ALLTOGETHER. Completely.

If you care what she thinks of you, then you're probably
going to start acting like a total WUSS, and you're going to
screw things up anyway.

Women aren't ATTRACTED to men who look to them for
approval. Women are ATTRACTED to men who are strong,
independent, and not affected by the opinions of others
(this is a generalization, but it's basically true).

So based on this new perspective, here are a few ways
that you could handle a situation like this one...

1) NOT CARE AT ALL

One of the things you could do is just address the
comment at all... as if it didn't even exist.

A mistake many people make is thinking that they MUST
take every communication that another person takes seriously
and then RESPOND to it.

Not so.

You don't have to do ANYTHING if you don't want to.

So if a woman says "I like tall guys" you can just act
as if it had never been said, and continue with your
conversation, getting her email/number, or whatever.

By the way, this concept can be EXTREMLY useful in
other situations as well. For instance, if a woman starts
getting upset about something and being overly dramatic,
one great thing to do is NOTHING AT ALL. Just sit there
and don't respond at all. Then, when it settles down a
little, just continue your conversation as if nothing
had happened (Oh, and stop hanging out with dramatic,
overly-emotional women too, you dork!).

2) BRING IT UP BEFORE HER

In this case, you're talking about height. One way to
deal with this is to bring it up before she does.

As soon as you start talking say "Well, you're taller
than me... I'm over it, are you yet?"

This says a few things. It says that you know what's
going on... it says you're confident... and it shows that
you're not afraid to deal with it.

It also addresses the issue in such a way that you'll
know where she stands on it.

If she just CAN'T get past it, she'll tell you.


3) MAKE IT HER PROBLEM

Here's a place to use Cocky & Funny.

You might say "Wow, you're kind of a freak. I think
something like 1% of women are as tall as you. It must suck
trying to find nice pants, huh? You have to wear all those
weird pants made for freaks and stuff."

Or if she's talking about a trait that she's attracted
to, point out the negative sides of that trait in a Cocky &
Funny way.

Maybe she says "I like men who know how to treat a lady
special, take her nice places, and who pay for everything
to show that they're a gentleman".

You might say "Oh, so what you're telling me is that
you like men who basically pay for your attention with
money and gifts... how romantic."


...The one thing that you'll find at the bottom of all
the ideas that I've just presented is FIRST OF ALL, NOT
CARING WHAT SHE THINKS OF YOU.

I know that it's a paradox... you obviously want her to
like you, but you have to not care what she thinks of you.

Well, get over it.

Women aren't attracted to men who are APPROVAL SEEKERS.

And if a woman throws out a comment like "I like tall
guys", you must first learn to NOT CARE, and not let it
impact you emotionally.

Then you'll be free to redirect the conversation and
decide if she's the kind of woman that YOU would like to
go out with.

By the way, when you are interacting with a woman, one
of the MOST IMPORTANT FACTORS that will determine whether or
not she will feel ATTRACTION for you is YOUR BELIEFS AND HOW
YOU COMMUNICATE THEM.

And you are constantly communicating your beliefs with
your body language, voice tone, words, topics, questions,
and everything else you do.

[J]

THE MAILBAG: Creating "ACCIDENTAL ATTRACTION"
***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***

Hey David.

I'm a woman that signed up for your emails out of curiosity.
I think what you're telling men is right on. I've dated a
lot of guys, and I feel a lot more attracted to the ones that
are cocky and funny, instead of the overly nice, kiss the
ground I walk on types.

I did want to make one comment though. One of your tips is
for a man, when setting up a date, is to tell the woman to
cancel her plans because he's more interesting. This is a
great tactic, if the plans are boring she may cancel. But if
she doesn't want to cancel, I wouldn't recommend pushing the
issue. It seems so desperate and selfish when men don't want
me to spend time with other people.

Keep up the good work, I'm tired of wussies!

S.T.
Tulsa, OK


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Exactly!

I wish that more guys would do themselves the favor of just
asking 10 women the following question:

"Are you attracted to the "nice guy" type who is submissive
and just wants to do whatever you tell him?"

Even though it isn't LOGICAL, women are NEVER attracted to
this type of behavior (unless she is a dominatrix and she's
looking for a new slave).

Women feel ATTRACTION to men who are a CHALLENGE to them...
men who are almost too comfortable around them... who do
and say things that are slightly TOO confident (Like telling
a woman to cancel her plans because you're more interesting).

Thanks for your letter. Very nice.


***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***

Hi Dave,

A guy friend got me reading your letters and so far I pretty
much agree, from a woman's point of view. I haven't read your
book or anything but my question is: I'm married and want to
stay that way but I'm getting bored and frustrated with my
husband. I try and do stuff with him (download music, watch
star trec, etc.) He seems so disinterested with me except
sex but he will just come to me and want me to get naked and
start having oral sex (to him or him to me) without any of
the other stuff US WOMEN like. Do you think your book would
help a married man with his wife? I haven't come across
anything about this subject yet. Life is so boring, he works
shift work, he sleeps, works, downloads music, chops wood
for our fireplace, eats, has sex. We don't do much together
besides go for coffee with friends, when he doesn't have to
work the next day, and have sex. He has a hard time even
having a conversation with me.

I think you have some very good info. What about a man that
has a woman in their life, what do they do to keep them. Do
you think buying your book for my husband would be a good
idea? The other question would be: How do I get him to read
it? I have read other books and said it had some good info.
in it would you like to read it? And it's a great big NO,
I'M NOT INTERSTED!

Please help! Any information would be greatly appreciated.

G. Canada


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, you might have your hubby start reading my newsletters
and maybe have him read my book. See the following letter
for more info.


***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***

HI....I am a married woman (10 years) ...and somehow (?) we
started getting your newsletters...and, well...My husband
and I love them! And....well....it works on me too! He is
becoming more like the type of man I dated but did not marry
because they were not the "marrying type".

My husband is trying the cocky funny stuff with me...and,
yes...I know he is doing it..and yes..I love it! Even when
we socialize with others he does it...and I love that
too....I like seeing other women react to my cocky funny
husband. He makes me proud....maybe I am weird...but I
think happily married men, who do NOT wanna fool around
(except with their wives of course) can all use some cocky
funny techniques. We wives love it too! thanks for the
laughs...to.


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Thanks for your letter.

One of the mistakes that a lot of men make is THIKING THAT
A WOMAN WILL NOT LIKE WHAT THEY'RE DOING BECAUSE IT'S A
"TECHNIQUE".

The reality is that women don't really care that much WHERE
you learned how to do something... as long as you're DOING
it in a way that they enjoy.

For instance, if you are making love with a woman and you
do some incredible sexual technique that brings her to a
MIND BLOWING orgasm... then later say "Yea, wasn't that cool?
I decided that I wanted to learn more about sex so I read
this great book and learned that technique" SHE'S REALLY
NOT GOING TO CARE.

In fact, she'll probably ask you to GO LEARN MORE!

Don't be embarrassed about the fact that you're learning
how to be successful with women and dating. Women will be
GLAD that you are doing it. Really.


***COMMENT***

Hi Dave,

I've noticed that you get a lot of letters from guys
wondering when they can 'stop the act' and be themselves
around a woman that they've been dating for a while. What
they don't realize is that c&f isn't about not being
yourself. They have it confused with trying to be society's
conception of 'cool' all the time. The truth is, if you pull
of the c&f right, it doesn't matter if you let them know who
you are. Just don't turn into an emotional cripple. I think
the stuff guys are scared to let woman know is that they
read books or watch Star Trek or do things that they think
are inconsistent with being cocky and funny. What I've
learned is that you can let them know your true self, as
long as you do it unapologetically. If you just act
yourself, chances are they won't care because they're
already attracted to you. Ever dated a girl with bad teeth
but overlooked it because she was attractive and fun? If
you're making her attracted to you, she probably won't care
about the stuff that you do. Besides, if she does say
something, it's prime opportunity to bust her balls. Like if
she disses you for reading the Economist, tell her you like
to know more words than are required to read a shampoo
bottle. Anyway, just my two cents.

A.
Edmonton


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Ahhhh, someone who gets it.

NICE.

If a woman feels that magical emotion called ATTRACTION,
then NOTHING ELSE MATTERS.

You can love Star Trek if you want.

You can collect comic books.

You can even be overly thoughtful, buy gifts, be romantic,
and do all those things that you SHOULDN'T do BEFORE a
woman feels ATTRACTION for you.

But most guys just don't GET this point.

Instead, they come up with all kinds of reasons why this
probably won't work, or why they want to "be themselves"
and have women like them "for who they are".

When you integrate this stuff into YOUR OWN PERSONALITY
you'll see that you can have women like you for who you
are... as long as you DON'T do the things that interfere
with ATTRACTION and you DO do those things that AMPLIFY
ATTRACTION.

[J]

***QUESTION***

Dave...quick question man. In your book you say to stay and
talk calm and cool. Lately I have been acting more
uninterested in women, and its great, but how do I come back
to questions like. What's wrong? you don't like me?? Also,
Do you think your too good or what? I'm completely lost with
these types of questions.

Thanks
L Tx


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Oh, this is good stuff.

If a woman asks ANY of these questions, there's a 99% chance
that she REALLY likes you. If she didn't like you or just
didn't care either way, then she'd never say something like
this... because it wouldn't matter.

If you're acting indifferent towards a woman, and she asks
you "What's wrong, don't you like me?" this is a PERFECT
opportunity to come back with "Well you like me... isn't
that enough?" or something equally as Cocky and Funny.

You must interpret these comments as her being insecure,
and make fun of them.

Let me ask you this:

How would you behave if you knew that a woman wanted you and
there was NOTHING you could do to screw it up?

Well the first thing you'd do is STOP LETTING COMMENTS THAT
WOMEN MAKE DISTURB YOU.

See, one of the WORST things you can do is to LET A WOMAN'S
COMMENTS THROW YOU OFF BALANCE.

When a woman sees that she has the ability to affect your
emotional state, your composure, etc. it means that SHE
is the one that's in control of the situation.

In other words, she's dealing with a Wuss.

So don't let things like this bug you. Just answer with a
cool, calm, Cocky and Funny response.



***QUESTION***

Dave -

When a chick comes back at ya with a C+F line how do you
comeback at her?!?! Should you follow up with your own C+F
line or what? And if you can't comeback what do you do? A
goofy little giggle only goes so far and is kinda dumb...lol.
Also, while im at it, any key body language you think we
should know about and any body language source you recommend?
thanks man your awesome

N from nj


><<MY COMMENTS:

Great questions.

I personally LOVE it when a woman gives me back some great
Cocky and Funny play.

Women that get it enough to actually USE IT are often
more intelligent, more funny, and more interesting to be
around than those that don't.

In fact, Cocky and Funny is a great test.

If a woman gets uptight, doesn't get it, or tries to act
offended because you're busting on her and giving her a
hard time YOU CAN BET YOUR LAST DOLLAR THAT SHE WILL BE
A HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS LATER ON. Women that get uptight
and can't take jokes and deal with others making fun of
them are usually ULTRA HIGH MAINTENANCE.

So I say go with it. Keep up the fun, and keep giving it
back to her. It's all kinds of fun when you meet a girl
like this.

And as for body language... that's a big topic.

Women can tell INSTANTLY from your body language:

1) Whether you're self-confident or not.

2) Whether you'll be good in bed or not.

3) Whether or not you're a "dominant" male or a WUSS.

...and about a million other things.

Now, there are all kinds of subtle aspects of body
language. And I recommend that you watch guys who are
good with women and pay attention to the little things
they do to make women feel attracted to them.

See if you can imitate some of these things.

Start with holding yourself upright, shoulders back,
head held up.

Next, practice slowing down your movements and
incorporating an "unhurried" look to all your actions.

Eliminate nervous behaviors, twitches, and signs of
insecurity.

Learn how to maintain eye contact with women you see
until THEY look away.

This is a good starting point.


***QUESTION***

Dear Dave

I recently downloaded your book and found it to be an
amazing read. However , I need some help .

I met this girl on the internet and we have been chatting
via enail and mobile phone . She went away for the weekend
and sent me an sms via mobile phone saying she wishes she
was with me having a drink . It got to a stage where she
ignored my sms I was asking her if she was purposely
ignoring me etc . When queried she said that her phone was
on charge mode. Anyway she said I musnt be so paranoid. She
has since come back and has been offish and distant. She
says she is still be prepared to see me but when I asked her
she said very bluntly "cant" I then told her it was best to
move on and it was a pity we didnt actually meet .

I know from our discussions that there is something there
and she has indicated that too . I then sent a message two
days later and asked if she would forgive me and still meet.
She said she would but wanted to cool down as I had upset
her , and would contact me when ready I then sent an email
apologizing and left it at that .

I would say I may have been overpowering acting like a real
wuss as a result cocked it up. I have been cocky as well
but I think I have destroyed everything .

Could you offer some help

P
South Africa


>>>MY COMMENTS:

My guess is that you started messaging her too often, and
she had that little emotional shift from "interested" to
"not interested".

It's very subtle, but when a woman feels like you're being
too "clingy" or too "interested" they shut off like light
switches.

Most men make a HUGE mistake when the woman gives some
sign of being interested (like yours did when she said to
you that she wishes she was with you having a drink)...
They immediately start paying WAY too much attention to
the woman.

In your case, it sounds like you probably started messaging
her a lot.

Your BIG mistake was when you asked her if she was purposely
ignoring your messages.

This is one of the worst things you can do, because it REALLY
demonstrates insecurity.

Don't ask a woman why she hasn't called you back, if she's
avoiding you, or if you're annoying her. And never EVER
mention that you're clingy, needy, lonely, or a WUSSY.

If you do one of these things, you will KILL your chances
with a woman instantly.

The help I would offer you is:

Pour a bucket of REALLY COLD water over your head, WAKE
UP, STOP ACTING LIKE A WUSS BAG, and get a life.

And don't screw up like this again!

Once you make a mistake like this one, it's going to be
100 times easier to go out and meet a new girl than to
try to get this one back.

[J]

***COMMENT***

Hey Dave,

On Attraction:

Just a couple of days back I sat to write down what
associations come to my mind when I hear the word
attraction. Then in your last newsletter you coincidentally
included some of your own precious thoughts on the matter
- so I combined them together and here's what came out:

Attraction is:

- A STRONG emotional feeling. It usually isn't a choice.

- Usually beyond rational judgment and control ("he's a
jerk but I love him" issue)

- Is like a puzzle and built up by various pieces (some
don't make sense) One major piece of attraction is
ANTICIPATION - and this could be created by
unpredictability, mysteriousness and of course the C&F
friend. There are mountains more to creating attraction
- read David's book!

- A reaction - a "CLICK, WHIRR reaction" (as in Cialdini's
book) which means that it happens most of the time with no
conscious awareness and typically in response to the right
"behavioral code" on the part of the man, i.e. you will
trigger attraction (as reaction) if you behave in the "right"
way, no matter what you look like or how much you make an
hour.

- Something you can't talk a woman into. Not even if you're
Cicero.

- Is a skill that can be acquired through learning! - Just
like you study maths or biology and try your best to be a
successful student you can learn how to cause women to feel
attraction for you. And Dave, I will petition my Uni to
create a new subject "Attraction Studies" and I will propose
that they should appoint you as the "Head of Department!"

- Everything! It's like a DRUG: If she is on it - SHE is
gone. If she's not on it - YOU are gone! (it's yours word
for word and I love it!)


The KEY is to THINK attraction. A lot of guys make the
mistake (I certainly did) of seeking ways to behave or say
things to a woman that they think will IMPRESS HER - Yes? -
a big, NO-NO! We should really concentrate on doing things
that are likely to CAUSE A WOMAN TO FEEL ATTRACTION for us -
and not to impress....

If you want to impress a woman by catering for her needs,
doing her favours, buying gifts and demonstrating various
kinds of devotion - she will, if you are lucky, feel
AFFECTION towards you, which is a dead end on the way to
ATTRACTION - don't go that way, it may hurt you later.

Whenever you approach a woman train yourself to think
attraction - make it your MINDFRAME - and always ask
yourself: "Is what I'm doing likely to cause her to feel
ATTRACTED to me?"

- And find some time, go out on the mall and ask the hottest
women you see to tell you how "ATTRACTION" is different
from "AFFECTION" and what each term means for them
individually - you'll have great fun. You can also dress it
up as a survey to ease the tension if you must.

And Dave, if anticipation is a major force in attraction,
you are the the major force behind my success with women.
I am still learning - and will never stop! You should try
and come to London to do a seminar so that we Europeans
could also bask in the light you emit!

And finally Attraction is a magical feeling that women LOVE
to experience so give them the pleasure of it - you will
feel good inside (pun unintended)

B
London


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Nothing else needs to be said. Amen.



***QUESTION***

Hey man,

I've been using your techniques with some success. I've gone
from getting a phone number every month or so to getting one
or more every time I go out almost.

Thanks.

But, now I have a question. What venues "are game" for
macking on girls? I mean, we all know that bars and clubs
are practically designed for such, and an attractive girl
should *expect* to be macked on at such a venue. But what
about work? Or a train station? Or just out on the street
downtown? There are plenty of examples like these where I
have kept to my own business rather than bust up on a
complete stranger, or in the case of the workplace, I feel
like professionalism dominates. Are these places I'm
avoiding the use of C&F at lost opportunities?

Thanks,

DL in SF

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, first of all... it's easier to engage a woman in a
"normal" place than it is to engage a woman in a bar or a
nightclub.

There are usually fewer distractions, less competition for
her attention from the music, other guys, friends, etc. and
a LOT better chances of meeting a woman alone.

EVERYWHERE is game.

If you see a woman walking down the street, just realize
that you can have ALL of her attention if you just talk
to her.

And if you're interesting, charming, and funny you can have
AMAZING success.



***SUCCESS STORY***

Hi David,

I guess you get a lot e-mail from guys telling you the same
stuff time and time again. I would almost think you might
actually start getting tired of hearing the same stuff about
the cocky/funny approach when talking and conversing with women.
I have read your letters for many months now and listened to you
fellow followers "waxing lyrical" about just how effective being
c/f was for the them and how it has changed their lives. Being a
bit of a skeptic to all this stuff, I ended up leaning back and
laughing at these guys and saying "yeah right", you must be
fabricating these e-mails and making it seem to the rest of us
as though hundreds of guys are following your advice. Well, my
mind and impression of this stuff has been changed for ever. I
was at this really up-market restaurant the other night and
having a few drinks and dancing in amongst the ladies on the
dance floor not really giving a damn about any of them. I can't
recall exactly how the exchange started with this one little
goddess on the dance floor, but some how, unconsciously, all the
advice which you had been imparting in your letters lay dormant
in the back of my mind until now and it poured out of me, like a
dam wall which had collapsed under the weight of water (cocky and
funny knowledge) behind it. I was "playing" with this woman and
getting her to laugh to the point that she was almost crying with
laughter. I couldn't believe the effect I was having on her. I
found myself several times thinking if what was happening here was
for real. She was a really good dancer and as I knew a move or two
myself, she quickly and very forcibly grabbed my hands and wrapped
them around herself as she wriggled and writhed against me. Dave,
I think the restaurant was getting ready to light up after we were
finished on the dance floor. Dave, I am now converted in your ways
and you are indeed a sage when it comes to dealing with woman and
giving them what they want. They want to be challenged and they
want to be tested and they want to be pushed to the point where
they will ultimately submit.

Thanks buddy, I am eternally grateful for your invaluable advice.

O. from South Africa.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Oh, ye of little faith...

I'm glad that you actually WENT OUT THERE AND TRIED THE MATERIAL
so you could see how it worked for you.

Good job, and I know that you'll have even more success now that
you have gotten a taste of how this game works.


***COMMENT***

Dave,

I'm 38 and have been happily married for 10 years and
have two children. Recently I have been looking for
ways to increase the attraction between my wife and
myself. I found your website and signed up for the
newsletter. I started using your cocky-funny routine
on my wife and our relationship has really changed.
We're having alot more sex and going on more dates
than ever before. However, there is one negative
point that I would like to point out that surprised
me. I am unknowingly being cocky and funny at work,
at the gym and other places. This seems to be causing
other women to become accidentally attracted to me. I
am now struggling to control my behavior in this
respect. Dave, I'm only human and did not realize the
power of your techniques as they relate to most women.
You should post a warning to married men that there
may be a price to pay for following your advice that
might not seem apparent at first but could pose
problems in the long run. Thanks for your time and
keep up the good work.

A.
Hartford, CT


>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, let this serve as a WARNING to everyone reading this
newsletter...

THE IDEAS AND TECHNIQUES CONTAINED WITHIN THIS NEWSLETTER
AND MY BOOK AND CD SERIES MAY CAUSE WOMEN TO BE
"ACCIDENTALLY" ATTRACTED TO YOU. YOU MAY HAVE TO "STRUGGLE
TO CONTROL YOUR BEHAVIOR" AS A RESULT.

Yea, so be careful.

DATING TIP: An Unexpected ATTRACTION Secret
In my never-ending quest to get to the root of what it is
that creates the magic known as ATTRACTION, I came upon an
idea that really struck a chord.

I realized that there was a common thread running through
many of the concepts that I discovered while studying guys
who were naturally successful at attracting women.

At first it wasn't obvious to me, but the more I thought
about it, the more the pieces came together.

Here's the point I realized:

MANY OR MOST OF THE QUALITIES, BEHAVIORS, AND COMMUNICATIONS
THAT MAKE WOMEN FEEL ATTRACTION ARE CONNECTED SOMEHOW TO
DISPLAYING SOCIAL STATUS.

Let's do a little refresher course on how ATTRACTION
works...

1. ATTRACTION isn't a choice. Attraction isn't some obvious
logical process that happens because we choose it. It's an
EMOTION that is triggered in RESPONSE to certain things.

2. If a woman feels the emotion of ATTRACTION, then almost
nothing else matters. No amount of pressure from friends or
family, thinking about it, reasoning, etc. will do anything
about it. Once ATTRACTION is present, it can override all
logical decision making processes.

3. If a woman DOESN'T feel the emotion of ATTRACTION after
she's had the chance to interact with you, then there's
really nothing you're going to be able to do about it. You
can't convince a woman with logic to feel attraction. It
just doesn't work that way.

4. If you study ATTRACTION, and how it works, you'll begin
to see trends, processes, and predictable patterns that
happen.

5. Women are attracted to men for very different reasons
than men are attracted to women. Yes, they share some
common reasons for attraction, but for the most part they
are VERY different.

All in all, I really believe that you have to set up
the "relationship" with a woman correctly from the VERY
BEGINNING if you hope to have it turn into something
romantic. If you don't set it up right from the start, it's
difficult or almost impossible to change things later on.

As you've probably read in past newsletters, women are
NOT attracted to weak guys. Women don't like WUSSIES.

So what DO women like?

Well, to answer that question, let's take a look at
some pop psychology that we've all heard about.

Here are a few terms that you've probably heard:

1. Status Symbols
2. Approval Seeking
3. Conspicuous Consumption

These are terms that are used all the time to describe
common patterns of human behavior...

Status symbols are those things that we obtain to show
others that "who we are" and that "we're somebody".

This can be anything from cars to clothing and even
the way we talk.

Approval seeking is when we try to get someone who we
think has status to "approve" of what we're doing, our
motivations, or our reasoning.

Conspicuous Consumption is when we go out of our way
to spend more money than necessary, buy more than we need,
or otherwise display to others that "we can afford it".

Driving a Mercedes, wearing designer clothing, and
eating at trendy restaurants are examples of conspicuous
consumption.

Again, you've probably heard these pop psychology terms
a thousand times... but did you ever stop to think about
what they all have in common?

I already let the cat out of the bag...

IT'S STATUS.

And the more I look at how ATTRACTION works, the more I
realize that STATUS is one of those keys that triggers it
for women.

The wonderful thing about STATUS is that IT'S ALL IN
THE MIND.

Sure, there are "external" things you can do to show
women that you have status, but NOTHING is more powerful
than BEHAVING like you do.

So why would women feel ATTRACTION for men who have
STATUS?

That's a great question. And the answer to that
question has led me on a quest through some fascinating
new research that's being done...

But let's just say that I've proven to myself beyond
the shadow of any doubt that STATUS plays a huge in this
puzzle.

So what's the OPPOSITE of status?

You guessed it...

BEING A WUSSY.

And as you've probably heard me say a million times...

WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO WUSSIES.

So what are some things you can do to show that you
have that INTERNALLY CREATED status that causes women to
feel an UNCONTROLLABLE ATTRACTION for you?

Well, one of them is to use the technique I call being
"Cocky and Funny".

This is where you tease, flirt, bust on, and generally
give a woman a hard time. Of course, you can also be Cocky
and Funny about things other than her...

But the point is that when you make funny, arrogant
comments... while at the same time acting completely calm
and natural (like you would with a friend), you project
that you are TOTALLY COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN.

I have an exercise for you...

This week while you're out and about, see if you can
find some police officers who are taking a break, or
walking around.

I've noticed that police officers have a particular
way of holding themselves, walking, and driving that
SCREAMS the message "I'M IN CONTROL HERE".

Know what I mean?

And guess what... women LOVE police officers (or any
man in uniform who acts like "he's the man").

Police officers do something that's amazing... they
use their uniform, position, and body language to CREATE
the "high status" response from those around them.

[J]

You know what's cool? YOU CAN TOO...

Next, I'd like you to think about how you behave when
you're around an attractive woman.

Do you hold your head high, your shoulders back... and
maintain a totally cool, calm demeanor?

Or do you act nervous, apologetic, and like you're
trying to impress her?

Try this...

Next time you're talking to an attractive woman, start
making jokes that hint at the idea that she's a "lower
class" person. Remember, I said jokes.

Tease her about her clothes being purchased second
hand... tell her that you hope she has a good job, because
you don't want to marry a woman who hasn't paid off her
trailer home yet... when she tells you what she does for
work, accuse her of lying and just trying to impress you
and that you secretly know she's homeless.

This is all very subtle, but without saying anything
explicitly about yourself, you can create a situation
where a woman sees you as a "high status man"... just by
the way you communicate.

In summary:

-Women feel ATTRACTION for "high-status" men

-You don't need money, looks, or anything else to project
that you have high status.

-You can create this situation purely with your communication,
and bypass all the B.S. that men go through to impress women.

Take a look around you... the guys who are successful with
women all project that they have HIGH STATUS... whether they
do or not.

And the guys who AREN'T successful with women project that
they DON'T have high status... even if they do.

You'll be hearing more about this from me in the future,
as it's such an important concept. But for now just start
paying attention to what's going on around you. You'll be
stunned at what you see.
Dating Tip: Women Don't Make Sense!

Have you ever noticed that women don't seem to make sense
AT ALL when it comes to "dating"?

What's up with that?

I'm sure you've been in a situation where you really liked
a woman, and you did everything "right"... but for some reason
she just never felt attracted to you?

You called her often, took her to nice places, bought her
gifts, and were a complete gentleman (translation, you didn't
try to kiss her, gave her space, etc.)... but nothing seemed
to cause her to like you for more than just a "friend"?

And I'm sure you've been in a situation where a TOTALLY
HOT female friend of yours was dating a complete jerk who was
mean and abusive to her... and all she did was tell you about
how badly he treats her (and of course she talks about the
sex too)... all the while you're sitting there and would do
ANYTHING just to have a chance at dating her. Right?

What is going on here?

Why is it that when you're overly nice to a woman in the
beginning, it just causes them to be less and less interested?

And why is it that jerky guys who mistreat women seem to
get laid like Motley Crue, even though they are the WORST
possible choice for an attractive woman?

This is a fascinating question to me.

In fact, I've spent the last four or five YEARS thinking
about this one and other related questions.

It's funny, because when you first ask a question like
this one, you can come up with some "OK" answers. But now
that I've taken the time to REALLY think about it, research
it, and look DEEPER into the topic, I've realized and found
some FASCINATING answers.

But more importantly, I've come up with ways that any
guy can take advantage of the secrets that "jerks" use to
attract women... without having to be abusive.

OK, so let's talk about some of these concepts that I've
been working on.

I can remember when I used to call women all the time,
take them out, and generally show them that I was VERY
interested in them when I first met them. I was REALLY a
"nice" guy.

And you can guess what happened. Exactly...

They would always be nice to me, say that they
appreciated what I had done, and accept my calls...

BUT I NEVER SENSED THAT THEY FELT ANY KIND OF ATTRACTION
FOR ME.

Something just never felt quite right.

I always felt this little tension... as if the woman
KNEW that I was interested, but for some reason THAT VERY
FACT was the thing that kept her from feeling the same
in return.

It was as if the more I tried to get a woman to like
me, the less she would.

IT JUST DIDN'T MAKE SENSE!

Why wouldn't a woman choose to like me when I was such
a nice guy?

Was it my looks? Or the fact that I didn't make a lot
of money? Or that I didn't have a nice car?

Well, I've since realized something...

Women don't CHOOSE at all who they are attracted to.

ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE.

Attraction is something that happens virtually on its
own... WITHOUT ANY CONSCIOUS DECISION AT ALL.

Most people have a hard time accepting the idea that
they're not in control of themselves.

I just read in a marketing book today that some experts
estimate that over 95% of ALL decisions aren't made
consciously.

In other words, less than 5% of all the "decisions" that
people make were ALREADY MADE FOR THEM by their minds, and
they're just trying to pretend that it was their idea!

Well, when it comes to women and ATTRACTION, things are
no different.

Ask a woman why she's attracted to a certain guy, and
she'll answer "Oh, he's such a sweetheart" or "He's really
a great guy" or whatever.

I personally believe that if you could get a woman to
stop and think about it for a minute, the REAL answer would
be something like "I have no frickin' idea whatsoever. I
just feel an emotion that makes me crave being with him, and
then I justify it with my mind so I can EXPLAIN it to myself
and everyone else so I don't sound crazy."

Whoa.

That's heavy.

But if you take a look around, it's not NEARLY as heavy
as REALITY. Think about all of the women you've known who
were smart, attractive, and interesting. Now think about all
of those women who dated abusive, insensitive losers who did
nothing but take from them... and how the women just dealt
with it and kept dating them.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

Well, the answer is somewhat complex.

A combination of evolutionary pressures, cultural and
religious programming, and the magical way the mind works
creates a very unique and interesting puzzle.

But let me tell you one thing about this puzzle.

When you're first learning how to be successful with
women and dating, you must put aside all of your past
ideas and conditioning for awhile.

You have to pretend that you don't know ANYTHING about
how women work... and play a little game.

Instead of doing what you THINK should work, try doing
what ACTUALLY works.

When you have this mindset, you'll TRY different things,
JUST TO SEE WHAT WORKS.

Instead of saying "Oh, that won't work", just try it.

Today I was out with a good friend of mine. We were at
the mall walking around, and I was showing him how easy it
is to meet women.

We went into a fancy store, and walked up to a girl who
was selling makeup. He started a conversation with her, and
I watched.

She was laughing, and he was doing fine.

But you know that point in a conversation with a woman
where you both know that something needs to happen?

She needed to get back to work, and he needed to either
move on or ask for her information.

So I walked over and said "Here, let me see your hand"
(she had her left hand in her pocket, and we couldn't see
if she had a wedding band on).

She took her hand out, and I looked at it.

Sure enough, she had a ring on her finger. But it
didn't look like a wedding band to me.

So pointed at it and said "So does this ring mean
something? Or is it just to ward-off dumb asses?"

She started laughing.

Here's the good part...

I looked at my friend and said OUT LOUD "See, that's
how you find out if she's single. I've got a line for
everything..." and I laughed.

Then we asked her if she had a card, and made fun of
her for not having an email address... of course, my
friend walked away with her info.

Now, the funny part of this story is that most guys
would CRINGE if they even THOUGHT of saying something
like "See, that's how you find out if she's single..."
etc. right to a woman's face.

But she found the humor and arrogance quite funny
and charming.

What I'm trying to say is that you need to put aside
your ideas about what women respond to when it comes to
ATTRACTION... and start doing what WORKS, instead of
what you THINK SHOULD WORK.

Remember, WOMEN DON'T MAKE SENSE.

If you keep trying to think about it and get them to
make sense in your mind, you're going to keep going in
circles and chasing your tail.

Success with women really comes down to learning a
new way to think about women, then combining it with the
actual techniques that cause women to feel that magical
emotion called ATTRACTION.

Once you start using the techniques in the real world,
in real situations, you start to get a FEEL for how this
whole thing works. And once you start to see how successful
you can be, it encourages you to start doing more
"illogical" things.

MAILBAG: Ideas For "Getting Physical"
What a great Mailbag... just full of great stuff. And at the
end you'll read the follow up from the guy who won the trip
to Vegas... and the story is OUT OF CONTROL. Enjoy!

[Panda Man]

that's too much reading, can i have a link to the doc lol thnx for the info, i may use it sometime... rep for the info

[J]

Document ended because it is too long, if you want the whole thing e-mail me.You are free to post opinions and what not and to argue about this. I love to read arguments.

[Monkey D.]

Wonderful, Thank you so much for this topic. my last gf wanted to flirt with her some more. This is really gonna help me. Rep for you.

[pirates dc]

I have read that book its bunch of shiiiiiiit lol

[J]

Your opinion, I respect it but even I have been playing around with the concept and modifying my own behavior and I have to recognize that I have improved quite a bit in my conversations (not that I was lacking )

Yet allow others to try it out, believe me that this things can restore self confidence to anybody who feels like a loser in these love affairs.

My e-mail is [email protected]. Send me an e-mail and I will attach the file with the reply ok people?

[Josh]

I have seen to found that technique on my own. It works well.

[polobunny]

Damn I read a few lines (okok i read half the thing), seemed interesting. Some pickup lines are wicked. XD

But tell use Dave, what if a women says I'm stupid, is there a way to turn in C & F way?

[arif]

Wow THAT'S a shitload of.....spam! How did you find this document?

[Dingy]

Fun read Galcian, much better that you didn't doc it, not too much motivation to read it then.
My thoughts--first, what about women wanting to flirt with men. Seriously, I'm going to write something about women flirtations, not that I am a trained pro or need doing it myself (atleast I hope MasJ's happy with what he gets)

Think of flirting like playing.

FIRST MISTAKE.

If you know how to communicate the right way, women will respond to you RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING with a HIGH LEVEL of sexual interest and ATTRACTION.

Right. I apologize if I sound feminist here, that is not my intention, for it is not what I am feeling, feminist, i.e., atleast atm:p
All women are not the same. And all women don't want to go into lala land and in a 'special kind of emotional state'.

I think a lot of guys give up when they try a cute line or technique and a woman responds by saying "You're a loser." Instead of just realizing that they need more practice or that the woman might have just been in a bad mood or even one of those horrible "I don't have a sense of humor" cases, they take it personally and decide to just have it mean that they're a failure.

No chance that the woman just wasn�t interested, eh?

But take my word for it... once you learn how to flirt effectively and communicate in the language of "adult play" you WILL SIMPLY NOT BELIEVE how women will respond to you.

So there is a switch. I always wondered what that thing was between their legs.

...Try it on a waitress or two.

Voila! We have guinea pigs.

In fact, you can say this in just about ANY situation with ANY woman where she's saying something that you don't like, and it's funny.

Her: My arse of a father got pissed and beat me up today.
Him: OK, this relationship isn't working out... I'm going to have to break up with you.

I wish all the men a hearty good luck if they believe that

In my new CD audio series,

WoW. This guy makes moolah out of this. I must start reconsidering my career plans

Women are universally more interested in taller men.

Poor generalization.

I have NEVER met a woman in my entire life who said "I like shorter guys". Never.

He hasn't met me
Not that height matters a wee bit if you really care for someone. But this generalization isn't true.

For instance, if a woman starts getting upset about something and being overly dramatic, one great thing to do is NOTHING AT ALL. Just sit there and don't respond at all.

Yes. That'll get you her number or even better, in her undies.

Ah. The kinds of women that exist. Guess one does learn something new about womankind everyday. 'Ultra High Maintenance'. That's new.

3) Whether or not you're a "dominant" male or a WUSS.

There are in-betweens too. For instance, the 'I-care-about-you' male and the 'I-am-not-afaid-to-cry-but-that-doesn't-make-me-a-WUSS' male.

Every man is not cocky and funny. Honestly, and every man cannot be cocky and funny. And every man should not be cocky and funny. For the plain reason that ALL WOMEN ARE NOT THE SAME, thus all women don't like cocky and funny. They are very subjective issues, flirting and attractions, i.e.
I understand some of the stuff this guy's saying and all this cockiness and funny attempts are an alternative to what's really going on in most guy's minds ("Can we just have toe-cringing sex right now?") And in a way its good, b/c it tells a man that he has to try harder. But that aside, I really do think that this way is way too planned and mechanical for me, it almost kills the spontaneity in something as electrifying as an attraction.
I agree with the Love Guru though about the bit that everyone likes a challenge. My first meeting with my boyfriend, I kicked him in the shins and what ensued was a name-calling row. But I think what drew me to him was that he didn't gawk at me and he kept me wondering whether he really did like me or not. Though for me, personally, affection is always attractive, b/c its a deeper connection rather than the superfluous surface that is probably being sustained by silicon and anti-aging muck. I guess I am extremely fortunate to have someone who I am proud of and love to bits and who loves me for who I am and each passing day only ameliorates the passion and attraction.

[MasJ]

Alright, that document is basically a howto on getting laid. It really hasn't got much to do with maintaining relationships -> conclusion (hold your breath... yeah!) -> all those letters about married people are marketing tricks.

Also, it's meant for people who are so dense that they can't even have a conversation with their husbands.. (atleast that's the target demographic..). So if you fall into that hopeless category, please buy his books, cd's, blah blah... women cannot be objectified into categories, the notion itself is preposterous, this guy is just trying to make money off a bunch of confused men. Get friendly with women, talk to them, ask your female friends for advice on how to get a particular woman... that'll probably help you a lot more than any guy's advice... (also, having female friends will probably help you get comfortable around them..).

Galcian, I hope you don't try any of this =P.