Jokes

[buzzyon]

Anybody know any funny jokes? Here's one...

A guy goes into a drugstore to buy condoms.
"What size?" asks the clerk.

"Gee, I don't know."

"Go see Sophie in aisle 4." He goes over to see Sophie, who grabs him in the crotch, and yells, "Medium!" The guy is mortified! He hurries over to pay and leaves quickly.

Another guy comes in to buy condoms, and gets sent to Sophie in aisle 4. Sophie grabs him and yells, "Large!" The guy struts over to the register, pays, and leaves.

A high school kid comes in to buy condoms.

"What size?" The kid embarassedly says "I've never done this before. I don't know what size." The clerk sends him over to Sophie in aisle 4. She grabs him and yells "Clean up in aisle 4!"

[D]

are you sure this buzzyon bloke is actually zora in disguise?

he seems to be making all the same topics as zora...

[MaKaVeLi]

who knows but thats a good 1

[D]

Originally posted by buzzyon
Anybody know any funny jokes? Here's one...

A guy goes into a drugstore to buy condoms.
"What size?" asks the clerk.

"Gee, I don't know."

"Go see Sophie in aisle 4." He goes over to see Sophie, who grabs him in the crotch, and yells, "Medium!" The guy is mortified! He hurries over to pay and leaves quickly.

Another guy comes in to buy condoms, and gets sent to Sophie in aisle 4. Sophie grabs him and yells, "Large!" The guy struts over to the register, pays, and leaves.

A high school kid comes in to buy condoms.

"What size?" The kid embarassedly says "I've never done this before. I don't know what size." The clerk sends him over to Sophie in aisle 4. She grabs him and yells "Clean up in aisle 4!"

lol:jinglebel

[Sephires]

Originally posted by buzzyon
Anybody know any funny jokes? Here's one...

A guy goes into a drugstore to buy condoms.
"What size?" asks the clerk.

"Gee, I don't know."

"Go see Sophie in aisle 4." He goes over to see Sophie, who grabs him in the crotch, and yells, "Medium!" The guy is mortified! He hurries over to pay and leaves quickly.

Another guy comes in to buy condoms, and gets sent to Sophie in aisle 4. Sophie grabs him and yells, "Large!" The guy struts over to the register, pays, and leaves.

A high school kid comes in to buy condoms.

"What size?" The kid embarassedly says "I've never done this before. I don't know what size." The clerk sends him over to Sophie in aisle 4. She grabs him and yells "Clean up in aisle 4!"

lol. That is so funny.

[MaKaVeLi]

ill try to think of a good joke but in the mean time keep this thread up

[buzzyon]

A teacher asks her class of 3rd graders to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. She calls on a small boy sitting in the front row.
"I saw an airshow. And it was very fascinating."

"Good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate,' not 'fascinating.'" She then calls on a girl sitting off to the left.

"I saw some monkeys. They were very fascinating."

"Good, but I wanted you to use the world 'fascinate,' not 'fascinating.'" Billy's hand shoots up into the air and she calls on him.

"Teacher, teacher! I got one!"

"Go ahead, Billy."

"My sister's shirt has ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fascinate."

[Sephires]

Teacher: Oh Billy... What ya think of mine. Oops... I mean, i'm sending you to the principle!

[XxSquiRReLxX]

hmm.....Jokes jokes jokes..... why dont you just continue off the old thread?

[Amirsupreme]

Hi friends here is my first one:

The Difference Between You And Your Boss


When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.
When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.


When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.


When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.


When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.


When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.


When you please your boss, you're apple polishing.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.


When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.


When you have one too many drinks at a social, you're a drunken bum.
When your boss does the same, he appreciated women.


When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.


When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.

[Amirsupreme]

It all happened Yesterday.....

Amirsupreme�s wife parked the car!

DONT ASK ME HOW SHE DID IT.....

[Amirsupreme]

Here is my scound one...


A husband and wife go off to bed. As soon as they
settle down, the man leans over and whispers softly
"Hey snuggle boopy boops, your little hubby wubby
isn't quite ready for nite-nite yet."
The wife takes the hint and says "OK, but I have
to use the bathroom first." So off she goes, but on
her way back she trips over a piece of carpet and
lands flat on her face. Her husband jumps up
concerned. "Oh my little hunny bunny, is your
nosey-wosey all right?"
No harm is done, so she jumps into bed and they have
mad sex for two hours. Afterwards, the wife goes off
to the bathroom again, but on her way she trips over
the same piece of carpet and again lands flat on her face
on the floor.
Her husband looks over and grunts, "clumsy bitch."

[Amirsupreme]

Here the last one for today...

** Number three
One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing
his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've
got a
gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The
husband,rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over
and
taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

** Number two
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a
number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that
he
had a
terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle
slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk
about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to
overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill
came
home.
His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's
wrong,Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this
tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill,
you didn't." "Yes, I did." "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got
fired."
"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" "Oh..she
got fired too."

** Number one
A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the
breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty
years
ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know,"
the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds
fifty
years
ago." "Well," Granny snickered, "Let's relive some old times."
Whereupon
the
two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. You know, honey,"
the
little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you
today as they were fifty years ago." "I wouldn't be surprised,"
replied
Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."

[XxSquiRReLxX]

thats allota jokes lol

[gibb]

Amirsupreme, did you get all those from Ampland?