I need some advice... how do you forget somebody you loved?

[J]

Well, you may be wondering why did I do this thread...? I need some advice, or at least know what would you do if you were in my place.

2 years ago, I met this girl over internet... a boring night in which I entered latinchat.com to kill time. There I met this girl, Keyla... 20 years, 5 feet tall, very intelligent... and emotional. At first I was reluctant to add her to my msn, but she seemed a nice person and added her, thinking that it would all end like that... As time passed I devloped a strong friendship with her, with no second intentions or anything, as I was interested in another girl. I always gave Keyla advice, as she had many troubles in life, and she even tried to kill herself twice... so I started to call her and this friendship got to the point that she fell in love with me. At first I didn't want anything with her but slowly she won my heart. and I fell in love... we started calling each other every night, up to the point we stood up to six hours on the phone. We met and all in person, but suddenly she changed... she stopped calling and I got worried. I called her mom and asked her what happened, but she didn't know anything.

One night I called her, and she just told me to stop loving her... after almost a year. I was shocked and felt that a dagger pierced into my heart. I felt into depression and... I didn't understand at all why. I even asked her if... she found somebody else but she swore to me that no, there wasn't anybody else in her life. She said me that... I had to forget about her. She promised to call me to explain. But she never called me. I got so depressed that I spent New Years Eve alone in front of the beach until midnight. I still feel sad and betrayed... used. After all this time, why did she do this to me? She took things to far just to let me fall... I feel a strong pain in my chest as I write this. she lied to me after all the poems, my time, even my heart... all my heart was hers. And she just threw it away in one single night.

She lives a little far from me but I have considered going to her house to confront her personally, as I haven't seen her since December 12th...

I swore to myself that this year... there would be nobody else in my heart. I don't want to suffer again for loving somebody... as much as I loved her. And as much as I try to forgt her.. I miss her as I still love her. I feel miserable... and my only question is why... why did this happen, why did I have to know her?

How do you forget somebody you loved, and still love...?

[Winged 2.0]

I know you're afraid to get hurt again but the only way that I have found to forget about someone is to find somebody else...

[J]

I wish it was that easy... I tried that and it just didn't work. So many things happened... I hate feeling like this.

[Drageuth]

If you ever find a solution, please inform me. Sadly, there isn't anything you can do save for letting time heal your wounds. What you can do, however, to help your depression is join into something that physically exhausts you. My social studies teacher is taking me under her wing for an exercise program in our school's weightroom that she thinks will help me.

Other than that? Just occupy your mind. It helps a little bit.

[J]

Sorry... I forgot you are going through the same as I am. But, you may be right. Time... perhaps?

If somebody can tell me, or better said, us how... please.

It is almost unbearable. When you still love.

[Drageuth]

It's quite all right. After awhile you learn to ignore the longing in your heart, although I fear that with true love it will never go away. With time, you will begin to accept and perhaps move on.

[Fido]

I maybe an idiot but perhaps forcing yourself to be happy by smiling wether you really want to or not and forcing yourself to do happy things and forcing yourself to luagh. Maybe? maybe not? i dont know.
But that sucks. Maybe some closure would help too so just confront her and get a straight answer.

Oh yeah, maybe crying alot will help, there's supposed to be a stress reliving property from crying. Sorta cry yourself out for an hour or until you stop thinking about and then force yourself to smile, something like that.

[Neverin]

Thats such a sad story... if it was me in your position I would go confront her before moving on.

[J]

Thank you Fido, but I... have cried enough for her... the saddest part is that she will never know how much I have cried for her.

[Soujiro-san]

Hmm...I'll put my 2-cent into this, cause I went through a similar situation. From my past experience, time will heal but it would definitely go faster with a closure. I'll do a little explaining first. In gr. 12 high school (I'm talking about 6 yrs back now at least) our teacher forced us to pair up with the person beside us to do a history project. No choice but I had to pair up with a girl who always seems to be depressed. We talked and such. We got really close and she told me a lot of stuff that has happened to her the previous yr. (party raped and etc). We got closer and closer started dating, I went from thinking she was very morbid to loving her quite a bit (this is my first serious relationship). Just after celebrating my b-day that yr. she suddenly told me we shouldn't see each other no more. Now we still had the history class together and we sat beside each other. I had totally no clue what happened. She started skipping class, not answer my calls, I even bused to her house (30 mins+). Finally I found her by just parking myself the whole night infront of her house waiting for her to come home. That night we talked a lot. She told me she lied half the time to me about her stuff, twisted facts and made me think badly of many good hearted ppl. She felt really bad using me partly as a rebound and get back at her ex. She never thought she would develop feelings for me which scared her when she realized what she did. She told me that I deserved someone better cause of her nature. She didn't want to hurt me. I told her I don't mind if we tried all over again and I told her I would forgive her for all the lies she told me. She started coming back to class. We talked but not the same now, and my feelings for her started to fade away. We became just good friends. When the yr ended she told me she would go to a different high school next year and start fresh. I purely understand what she was saying. (Btw I live in Canada and back when I was in high school we had OAC which is like grade 13). We talked over the phone once and a while and then it became just small chat over icq. Now I just remember her as a good friend and I don't regret what happened. I only remember the good times, although it did take me a good two years+ before I got back the guts to go dating again. To make a long story short in order for you to free your heart you'll need closure or u'll always think and worry as to what is going on with that person's life. It's been 3 yrs+ since I last talk to her. From last I heard she was dating a really nice guy that treated her well, I'm happy for her because she was truthful to that guy from start telling him everything unlike my relationship with her. At the same time I moved on as well. I didn't expect to find anyone in University but in my humanity class a special someone stuck out. At first it was just helping each other, having educated debates over issues in class. Then dating...I've been with this special someone for over 4 yrs now. I'm happy to say we're engaged (just 3 months ago). She watches Naruto anime with me, go bowling, watch movies, and many other things.

Life is so weird, when you're searching hard things just don't come. When u're not searching for anything at all they come to you like a bonus in life to make you smile more. I went into university thinking of just finishing my degree, hanging out with the gang, and nothing more. In my 1st yr university I ended up finding my love of my life. You know what the funny thing is. My fiance went into university with a very similar situation like me to where she was being used a bit for a rebound, not thinking at all to be dating. It was as if meant to be like that, god's will! Just take life one day at a time and enjoy what you can do every small things that can make you happy, make sure you have some good interactions with others and it never hurts to speak your mind out...it's better than bottling it up inside. The more you bottle up the more it'll eat up inside till a point where you'll burst and ur world might feel like it just collapsed.

[J]

Soujiro-San... that made sense. It is very intersting what I read... you may be right.

I staretd thinking a bit about all of this and it would help to go to her house and talk to her. It's 3+ hours far from here but, it will be worth it.

I think that that is what I must do.

[Kazekage Gaara]

Originally posted by Galcian
Soujiro-San... that made sense. It is very intersting what I read... you may be right.

I staretd thinking a bit about all of this and it would help to go to her house and talk to her. It's 3+ hours far from here but, it will be worth it.

I think that that is what I must do.

What the hell are you doing right now sitting besides your computer. Go, go go, man. You are wasting your time over here. Go confront here. DO IT NOW. (If its the RIGHT time)

[J]

It's 3 AM... heh... but be assured that I will confront her. Yet, some things still go bothering me...

[Soujiro-san]

I hope what I wrote helped...I know that confronting her might not be the ideal solution, but when it comes to feelings i think that's the best way for an honest answer. What you hear might not be pretty so be prepared.

Also, bring something small along with you might help to ease the situation. Don't bring flowers....unless it's meaningful or has some other meanings to it. What I actually did was brought a small piece of wood that was from our history project and in my spare time carved it a bit in woodshop and turned it into something where u can wear around ur neck...it was an ugly looking piece of wood but it meant something special just b/w the 2 of us. Without words when she saw it, it made her cry. There were more meanings in that piece of wood than words can describe in that same amount of time that I gave it to her. Maybe something she told you like she likes a certain type of candy...just the thought and she knowing u remember such small detail would truly amaze her. Don't think too hard about it..if u can't think of anything to get her than don't...perhaps just u being there would be more than enough

[Kazekage Gaara]

Originally posted by Galcian
It's 3 AM... heh... but be assured that I will confront her. Yet, some things still go bothering me...

Thats why I wrote "If its the RIGHT time.". Its 3 a.m. over there. Then go to sleep if you are able to. It would help relieve some of your "pain". Take some rest. If you are unable to sleep, then think of some "pretty things" or small things that make you laugh like a joke or a funny incident that happened.