-
^ - Last time he received a piece of ass was while using cheap toilet paper
< - Cannot confirm or deny the legitimacy of pending charges...
v - Had to get a plastic dinosaur mouth surgically removed from around his wiener
EDIT: I did not perform aforementioned surgery.
-
(that surgery will be impossible since I'm a girl)
^ had surgery to remove multiple transformer toys from anus
< has "allegedly" beat someone over a cupcake
v spent time in a "rest home for the criminally insane"
-
^ - Silently made fun of a retarded kid at an amusement park. Was later gypped by same retarded kid getting on the carousel
< - Gave his underage cousin Hannah alcoholic beverages and a sawzall to commit a crime
v - Won't tell mom how he "lost" a handful of transformers
-
^ thought the guy on the brawny towels was his dad,til the dna tests came back
< sometimes thinks that I was born in wrong decade/generation.
V thinks DNA is short for drugs and alcohol
-
^ - Hasn't eaten candy after an unfortunate accident involving a dog turd
< - Eats mice... they're nice
v - Was genetically confirmed as Justin Bieber's long lost twin
-
^ thought pop rocks was meth,got sick from smoking it.
<wish I had more candy
vMet their last gf at a family reunion
-
^ - Received a suspended sentence for indecent exposure at a boy scouts rally
< - Smokes sticky meth
v - Eats a hot bowl of wolf knuckles every morning for breakfast
-
^ Is banned from pet stores because of an incident involving a snake and a severed body part
< Is running out of places to hide the bodies..I mean...is bored
V stole a hoverround from an old lady while she was driving it.
-
^ - Stole an infants prostetic legs and pushed him into a ravine. Also removed one hand just in case
< - Jacked up a semi-mentally challenged kid with red hair nicknamed "Rooster" on the schoolbus. Years later punched a deaf kid in the face
v - Voted for himself in the Halloween thread :evil:
-
^ likes to be peed on by pre-op trannies
< is tired and grouchy
v was patient zero for herpes
-
^ - Gave mouth to mouth to a floppy snake https://www.google.com/search?q=flop...2F%3B590%3B386
< - Hates designing websites for people who change their mind on massive issues at the last moment
v - Offered to ride shotgun in the human centipede
-
^ volunteered to be the "test subject" at a sewage plant
< found a game store near my house
v has a history of hooking up with cats behind the dollar store
-
^ - Claps when old people fall
< - Enjoys Friday mornings with coffee as volatile as jet fuel
v - Eats ramen noodles without the flavor pouch
-
^- is so crazy that even mental institutes kick them out
<- is having a mental breakdown
v- is a blubbering fudgemonkey
-
^ - Hand-fed a hotdog to his girlfriends dad
< - Drinks scalding hot chicken broth while talking smack.
v - Was told he'd never amount to anything. Didn't let anyone down.